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Overall Rating
3.23

Awesome: 10.23%
Worth A Look: 25%
Average42.05%
Pretty Bad: 22.73%
Total Crap: 0%

5 reviews, 58 user ratings


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Tomorrow Never Dies
[AllPosters.com] Buy posters from this movie
by the Grinch

"SPOILERS! Maniac tries to take over the world, and James Bond thwarts him!"
3 stars

Ladies and Gents, I now present to you the first ever 'Behind-the-Scenes James Bond Dictionary'...

Brosnan - (Broz'nan) adj. 1.lifeless; showing little to no signs of life [Mrs. Brower's 5th grade class's wax museum display was quite brosnan] 2. smarmy or overconfident
with a passe outlook [That actor's so brosnan, I'll bet he could play Charly McCarthy and make him seem unrealistic]
- n. a poseable mannequin

Crow - (Croe) v. 1. the opposite of 'croon'
n. 1. any unpleasant sound vaguely resembling singing
2. a character from the greatest comedy series to ever grace television sets

Hatcher - (Hat'chur) n. something that is hyped up to be much better than it really is, i.e. [ I went to Lollapalooza 5,513 this year, but I couldn't help but feel it was a REAL hatcher!]

Joe Don Baker's Dozen - (jo dahn bay 'kers duh zen) n. 1. a sense of deja vu one gets from seeing an actor in a movie series reappear as different characters (see also 'Living Daylights') 2. the average number of times Joe Don had to be difubulated after chase scenes on the set of "Mitchell" 3. (slang) 13 jelly-filled doughnuts

Jonathan Price - (jah nuh thuhn price) n. The large sum payed by studios to an actor who's made his career by playing sniveling bad guys.

Spottywood - (spah tee wood) n. a style of heavy-handed direction/editing from the 1990's which employed alot of chaotic, nonsensical cutaways and digital panning...
closely related in etymology to 'edwood' 2. Michael Jackson with an erection

Yeohza - (form of expression) a cry of exclamation: [Yeohza!
That gal kicked ass and stole the show!]

Umm...

grinchy - (guh' rinch ee) adj. 1. to be out of ideas 2. gimmicky
3. extremely non-subtle, i.e. [Jeez, that review was about as subtle as J. Edgar Hoover at an Officer's Ball!]

Well, this was significantly better than the ho-hum 'Goldeneye'. Although Goldeneye had much more appealing female leads. I'd recommend this to slight 'enthusiasts' of the genre, but I think it works more as a straight up action flick than a Bond movie.

There's yet another aryan henchman guy in this installment. This one's name is "Stamper". Honestly, with a name like that, he doesn't have to kill anyone, they'd just die laughing. Did he work in a post office? I don't know how these guys get their nicknames. At least Oddjob had a cool name...not much to make fun of there...well, you could, but who's goofier looking, really? Some generic Brian Bosworth or a bulky, grizzled, mean-looking Asian guy?

Vincet Shiavelli (John O'Conner from Buckaroo Banzai) puts in a horrible and way too tongue-in-cheeky cameo as madscientist/torture-expert Dr. Kaufman. Does he work for an HMO?

Jonathan Pryce plays the arch-villian. What a stretch. This guy's more typecast as "evil madman" than Chris Walken is as "token creepy guy". And his annoying finger spasms on a handheld computer were a bit much for me. My sister pointed out "Hey! He's just typing jibberish!".

And Pierce Brosnan. Ugh. I think Yul Bryner displayed more humanity in his 'WestWorld' role. This guy could play the terminator and make him seem stoic.

Not to overlook the rancid title song by Sheryl Crow...what bland pap. I remember when Bond tunes were catchy as all hell. 'For Your Eyes Only', 'All Time High', etc, were extremely catchy. But Sheryl Crow? Once again, my sister pointed out that this was "bland" and she isn't even a fraction as bitchy as I am. There's just something about Crow's voice that doesn't vibrate well with my wavelength, something that really disrupts my atoms like a Star Trek phaser. Heck, I'd rather have the IzHach Haderach guy from 'Dune' sing a BeeGees tune in my general direction than endure a minute of Sheryl Crow's, well, KAWING.

Some tight action scenes in this one. Although I wish the opening sequence wasn't such an overblown shoot-em-up. But the end of the prologue was great. Pontentially classic. However, the direction here was seriously lacking and generic. And way too freaking jumpy, like they gave the editing duties to someone with "Strange-Hand" syndrome. There are some great action sequences, i.e. the helicopter pilot trying to make Bond a member of the Rotary Club. But cmon, isn't a prerequisite of all Bond films that they have groovy action sequences? And I'd have to say that the great action sequences were more a result of the screenwriters than of the 'digitally panning' directing that's so derivative of the 90's. John Terence should've directed this, but maybe he's busy being dead or something....

The screenplay was overall well done. The dialogue, however, was just awful. Horrible double-entendres galore...and no, that's not a character from a James Bond movie. Pierce Brosnan and the new 'M' exchange quips like they think they're more clever than they really are. Pierce, while a decent actor, seems to give the impression "Heh, I'm James Bond, and I just made a rip-rorious pun and/or witty comment". Connery or Moore would've delivered the lines with much more pinache...Connery as in "Heh, I just pulled one over on him/her...now, where's my drink?" and Moore as in "I'm actually curious, was I making a funny?".

All that said, I think if you approach this as a shoot-em-up well-done action flick, you'll appreciate it. But as a Bond film, it's beating a VERY old formula with a very large stick.

link directly to this review at http://www.efilmcritic.com/review.php?movie=344&reviewer=156
originally posted: 01/23/00 23:30:42
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User Comments

9/13/17 morris campbell a good bond movie imho 4 stars
7/23/12 Monday Morning They're all starting to look alike. F 'em all! 2 stars
8/30/09 Jeff Wilder Better than Goldeneye. Here we get to the point quickly and Brosnan does good. 4 stars
3/19/09 PAUL SHORTT HEAVY HANDED EXTRAVAGANZA WITH SILLY ONE-LINERS AND A FOOLISH STORY 2 stars
11/10/08 Mark Gibson formula-yes, but at least it occupies 2 hours nicely, villian-terrible. 4 stars
1/21/08 alya de arora i just can say Good Good Good 5 stars
5/08/07 JM Synth A Bond movie which manages to be genuinely bland. One of the very weakest 2 stars
2/18/07 Nick Maday Decent movie, but not one of the better Bond stories. 3 stars
2/16/07 johnnyfog Not bad, despite boring-ass scenes in Japan 3 stars
2/15/07 I Gluck Love Brosnan as Bond, I thought this one was good not great 3 stars
2/03/07 Vip Ebriega Exciting, but lacking on something new 4 stars
1/23/07 Sepi53 Good action, not greatest Bond-film, but Brosnan is good 4 stars
11/11/06 Eden Fairly formulaic. Lacks the energy and style of Goldeneye, has crap villians 3 stars
10/30/06 ProSneakyD Better than goldeneye, a very hi tech bond adventure, but it feels slow & drags on a bit. 4 stars
6/10/06 Yorkee This continues the fresh approach - good effort. 4 stars
5/18/06 Uk_shooter quite a good bond film, but not the best 4 stars
1/03/06 Anthony Feor A good one, but lacking a bit of what Bond is 3 stars
8/26/05 Eden Sometimes gets boring, especially towards the end 3 stars
5/27/05 tony Explosive scenes of martial arts. But sometimes slow. It was an ok film. 3 stars
4/13/05 Indrid Cold Quite weak and forgettable, the villian is oddly unlikeable. 2 stars
2/06/05 Tom Benton Another entertaining, slick and stylish entry in the 007 series ... 3 stars
1/08/05 keithers.. Nice Plot....but starting to slip into die hard style.... 4 stars
8/31/04 R.W. Welch Evil genius out to destroy the world for his own gain, etc.,etc. 3 stars
7/18/04 Daveman Mind-numbingly superificial but at least it's more entertaining than subsequent Bond films. 2 stars
5/08/04 Littlepurch. Not the best but gd. Brosnan says he wants 2 work wif that woman again, I can see why! 4 stars
11/29/03 john a sadly uninspired Bond film 2 stars
11/21/03 rony i never watch james bond, but this ONE I watched for Michelle Yeoh!!!go yeoh!!go yeoh!!^_^ 5 stars
8/02/03 Stefan Halka This film proves that there is more to an action film than action. Like a plot. 3 stars
7/06/03 Paul S. Magic moments: Michelle Yeoh walking down a wall, Yeoh kicking arse, Yeoh`s Q-scene, Yeoh. 5 stars
5/16/03 mr. Pink Okay. not bad. Quite entertaining. Bla-bla-bla 3 stars
1/22/03 Angolmois Bond movies were always shallow, but this one scrapes the bottom of the barrel. 2 stars
12/04/02 Jiz Brosnan's best. The partner thing actually worked, and Stamper's a real badass 5 stars
9/17/02 CVJ Not a very good bond at all Brosnans worst 2 stars
3/02/02 Alan Smithee One of the more underrated bond films. Michelle Yeoh is superb. 4 stars
9/20/01 Butterbean Bronson and Dence were brilliant, but the story wore thin 3 stars
9/09/01 Henry Ginsberg Wicked stunts.The end sequence is as good as any. 5 stars
8/07/01 Mr. Hat (formerly Joe Zappa) The second time is bad, but the next time is better. 3 stars
6/04/01 keith langman alright movie can't recap the original bond movies 3 stars
2/26/01 Bruce My personal favorite Bond film, Michelle Yeoh is awesome 5 stars
2/16/01 Chris Drake Brosnan grew on me:endearing!Yeoh=Wow,dear Pryce needs new dentist.Great action,esp@Saigon 4 stars
12/01/00 joe at least it's better than TWINE 4 stars
10/24/00 Gremlin The plot's so fucking gay it's ridiculous.The only good part was hot-as-hell Terri Hatcher. 2 stars
6/26/00 Naushad Khanji Brosnin is the worst Bond ever!.The formula looks tired. 2 stars
6/24/00 Terrie Smith Predictable but Brosnan and Yeoh work well together 3 stars
5/29/00 Cooke Bond is awesome. 5 stars
11/19/99 bishopj@pumpkinsfan.com Jesus Christ, this was so sucky and predictable. 2 stars
2/09/99 bond some good action scenes, but overall a crap movie 2 stars
1/10/99 Dasha Pierce Brosnan is the best Bond ever, but the movie was average 3 stars
1/09/99 Jo Mama man wants to take over the world...yadda yadda yadda. VERY predictable 2 stars
12/06/98 Ryano Wai Lin=best female character in Bond movie ever. Brosnan=cool. Movie=Top-notch. 5 stars
10/17/98 Sailor Moonn Ate My Balls If you Goldeneye, then this movie is for you. Pierce Brosnan forever! 4 stars
10/01/98 Paul Maki Without Michelle Yeoh where would this movie be. 5 stars
9/25/98 Des Bromilow It's BOND through and through, what more? 4 stars
9/07/98 BBReBozo Michelle Yeoh = 7 bucks from BBReBozo 4 stars
8/24/98 The Capital City Goofball Some witty dialogue would have helped 007. Plot was idiotic. 3 stars
8/20/98 The Man With The Helmet Teri Hatcher died. Early. Bravisimo. 3 stars
8/17/98 Johny I think Bond only said like 100 words in this film 3 stars
8/17/98 {{{OZ}}} A dumb premise all around. This franchise is dying. 2 stars
IF YOU'VE SEEN THIS FILM, RATE IT!
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USA
  19-Dec-1997 (PG-13)

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