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Overall Rating

Awesome: 5.36%
Worth A Look: 3.57%
Pretty Bad: 5.36%
Total Crap: 37.5%

7 reviews, 14 user ratings

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Drowning Mona
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by Slyder

"Were these people serious in doing this?"
1 stars

Good God, this is one of the worst pieces of shit that Iíve ever seen. Itís not even bad enough to be remotely funny, since it just stinks ANYWHERE you look at it.

The filmís title says it all about the movieís plot. Mona (Bette Midler) drowns in her car in the river. Chief Wyatt Rash (Danny DeVito) is suspicious since the evidence in the car leads to a murder, but who could the murdered be? Could it be Bobby Calzone (Casey Affleck), the dumbass lawnmower man who wants to marry his wannabe lesbian daughter Ellen Rash (Neve Campbell)? Or could it be Bobbyís partner Jeff Dearly (Marcus Thomas), or Jeffís father Phil (William Fitchner), both whom are fucking a diner waitress called Rona Mace (Jamie Lee Curtis)?

By halfway you wonít even bother since this film is a disgustingly awful piece of shit, with a certain air of nastiness that is just off-putting. All the characters are assholes; dim-witted, retarded assholes that have zero redeeming qualities, stupid names (Calzone, Rona Mace, Rash, what the fuck man? What a shitty attempt at humor), and like a critic once said, add their IQ numbers together and you would barely reach 100. The plot is lame and everyone here is going through the motions while attempts at humor fall flat to the border of utter annoyance, and the nasty mood in the film certifies this film as one of the worst comedies ever, especially since it never gives out a single laugh in the movie. By the end of this film I ended with a pretty bad headache and bad case of nausea that almost made me want to vomit. Itís that bad.

I wonít even bother with the cast; everyone is wasted and fucking ugly. Jamie Lee Curtisís sex appeal was overused and sleazy to the point of disgust. Bette Midler is crap; Casey Affleck is even worse as well as the rest. Danny DeVito is in a lot of pain, I guess because heís sitting on a stinker, oh well, got to pay the bills somehow. Director Peter Gomez and writer Paul Steinfeld, a pox on the two of you; let us hope we never see you ever again or you will be shot on sight.

In the end, there isnít a single redeeming quality in this film that would make it watchable. For your own health, avoid this film like a plague. 0-5

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originally posted: 04/02/04 13:10:25
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User Comments

12/20/08 Mack One of the funniest movies I've ever seen! 5 stars
6/15/06 gsdgs drowning mona was hilarious! one of the best movies ever! 5 stars
3/30/06 A.C. This films is'nt actually about the 'mystery' It is being taught at BU now. 5 stars
2/21/06 suzanne kraus mancuso well, I have seen better! 2 stars
9/26/04 Tor Honolulu There was a moment or three when I was glad I was watching this. You've seen worse 3 stars
4/12/03 Jack Sommersby Unfunny and condescending. Affleck is a catastrophe. 1 stars
9/02/01 Butterbean I hate comedy that turns out to be boring. 1 stars
11/21/00 Monday Morning Definitely has its moments, very much worth a rental. 4 stars
5/30/00 Elvisfan If I laughed four times it was alot; what a waste of talent & money 2 stars
3/31/00 Angel Rei two words: bite it 1 stars
3/15/00 Drano Will Ferrell perpetually cracks me up, even in this small part. 2 stars
3/08/00 Theia Play the Lawnmower Chase. Kill the doggies. More fun than the movie. 3 stars
3/07/00 LoudChris Simple and worth a few laughs. 4 stars
3/06/00 Captain Highcrime Surprisingly LESS funny than the trailers led us to believe; comic emphasis is misplaced. 3 stars
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  12-Oct-2000 (M)

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