After today, I will never publicly admit to seeing this film. I saw it in a moment of weakness, and afterwards, I felt so guilty, I took in a mass. Such is the horror of this film.Do people remember the scene in "Pulp Fiction" where young Butch is watching an old TV show called "Clutch Cargo", in which a moving mouth is superimposed over a still frame to give the impression that an otherwise motionless character was talking? Conan O'Brien also does it occasionally. Well, imagine 90 minutes of that. You know that's not the babies really talking - it's like Mr. Ed - you put peanut butter in his mouth and it looks like he's talking.
Babies are dumb, right? Well, no. Apparently, they have this secret language that an evil scientist (Kathleen Turner, resign yourself to infomercials. For your own good) is trying to discover. But the smartest baby escapes and switches places with his IDENTICAL TWIN (Yes, of course there's an identical twin). Havoc ensues.
"Baby's Day Out" may have been criticized on all sides, but at least the baby in the film was a real baby, and the filmmakers built the film around those limitations. But not Bob Clark. Convinced that the audience finds normal babies too dull, he gives us babies who dance, run around, say "Show me the Money!" and pull old Three Stooges routines. It's deeply creepy. No real baby can do that, but he's using actual children, and manipulating them in God knows what way to get them to do all this wacko shit. It's tasteless and disturbing, but could we expect any less from the director of "Porky's"?
It's difficult to say who performs worse. The babies are blameless, but Kathleen Turner, Christopher Lloyd, Ruby Dee, Kim Cattrall - even Dom Deluise! I was disappointed by Dom Deluise? How sad is that? What were they thinking? Dom, honey, if you need money that badly, come see me. We'll work something out.
This movie left me wide-eyed in terror. And in the end, it only left a feeling of disgust. I went to see it expecting something lousy to mock - I couldn't muster the strength. The film didn't bother to make an effort - why should I?There. My soul is cleansed. I can move on now. I shall never refer to this film again. Well, maybe for a cheap laugh.