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Overall Rating

Awesome: 18.64%
Worth A Look: 11.86%
Average: 6.78%
Pretty Bad: 18.64%
Total Crap44.07%

4 reviews, 35 user ratings

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by Collin Souter

"Don't open it! It's a virus!!!"
1 stars

"Anti Trust" cluttered my mental hard drive with so much junk mail I now have to reconfigure my alternator modular system with a new Co-axel deeble zip-switch. I hate when that happens. Not only does this movie treat its cyber philes (such as myself) like Microsoft janitors, it does so in a laughable way, as though it just re-booted its monkeyware straight from the bowls of a Pentium-flax zeppo infrastructure. But I’m getting ahead of myself.

"Anti Trust" tells the story of a mopey, nappy-headed computer zombie named Milo (played with sleepwalking finesse by Ryan Phillippe). He and his gaggle of geeks sit in their parents’ garage trying to figure out how to digitally insert the Pillsbury dough boy’s head onto the body of Jack Kluggman. Well, okay, that’s not entirely true, but that’s what I would do if I had a really super-duper neato-cool computer. Anyway, somebody at this mega-super-computer-corp, a pseudo-Microsoft but without the bi-fibulator skuzzy frame, recruits the ever-sleepy Milo to work on their project, which happens to be a great big laser beam pointed at the earth for destruction. Okay, no, that’s not true, but you’d think it would be judging by the way everyone acts so serious about it.

Actually, Milo has been recruited to help out with Synapse, a psuedo Broadband or RealPlayer, but without the expo/consule/geo.m&m/, which can be a pain as you know. Milo lives with his girlfriend Alice, played with the usual blandness despite her uploadable looks by Claire Forlani. They seem happy. His parents died, conveniently so. Actually, I think every character in this movie had parents who died mysteriously, but I could be wrong. Perhaps these people came from computerized micro-gnomes with reversible sex-clamps.

Tim Robbins plays Gary, the president of this over-1-billion-spent company. He’s kind of a psuedo-Bill Gates, but without the eerie sincerity. Actually, Tim Robbins goes so far over the top with his performance, you’d think he never sobered up after his hilarious bar scene with Steve Buscemi in "The Hudsucker Proxy." Of course, we don’t trust Gary, but Milo does even though Gary has always been referred to as The Enemy. We don’t trust him simply because he keeps waving around Pepsi and Pringle products in our faces, as though he has a contractual obligation with their mainframe.

The highly successful Gary looks at Milo and says “You know what I see when I look at you? I see me.” Since Phillippe’s emotional range doesn’t extend far beyond comatose, I guess that line should be seen as a ray of hope to narcoleptics everywhere. Just because you look like a mal-nourished bloodhound in need of a dirt nap, it doesn’t mean you can’t RULE ZA’ VORLD!!!

Eventually, Milo uncovers Gary’s conspiracy to take over the world, which I’m hoping will be done in real life by the host of “The Missing Link.” Milo enlists the help of step-father molestee Lisa, played by Rachel Leigh Cook. Of course, he can trust her since she happens to be so notoriously quiet and reserved. My roommate acts that way, but I can still smell the month-old Columbian reefer under his bed, but I digress. Anyway, after one of Milo’s friends gets killed by hate-crime perpetrators, he rushes into action to try and uncover a plot to take over the world, via fiber-optic lexico A/V cellular poxycons.

"Anti Trust" starts out mediocre and pretty much stays that way until Phillippe and Robbins start mugging the 800,000-lines-of-resolution video screen with their performances. The director, Peter Howitt, knows how to manipulate the viewer into dumb suspense by having one of those scenes where the hacker sits at an un-authorized computer hacking into gastro-biocular video feedback with only seconds to spare before the computer owner walks into the room and shouts “Hey…you, there…that’s mine!” My heart pounded as the seconds ticked away. I knew eventually the credits for this movie would roll soon and I could shut down by VHS hard drive timecode.

This movie hits video in May. You’ll recognize it by three people on the cover box looking serious about something, while Tim Robbins stands in the background trapped in a video wall looking helplessly confused and desperate to be let go.

Sure, we’d all like to see a big hundred-billion-trillion-gazillion-dollar corporate dictatorship such as Microsoft be exposed for fraud, murder and conspiracy to dominate the market already cornered by TV Land and the Golf Channel, so I can’t say that "Anti Trust" doesn’t have a little merit. It has a little fantasy element that I found to be not without charm, but I simply can’t recommend a movie where the main characters actually believe that a piffilibator donkey-chip can wax into the a.p.r. defense code without the help of a diggity-cyphen banana radar-flip. It’s just not possible and I wish the writers would have done their research.

By the way, if you want to know what kinds of cool things computers can really do, go to

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originally posted: 04/30/01 23:20:56
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User Comments

1/27/04 Eaper I liked this film so go jump, for people with a clue only. 4 stars
1/26/04 john bale Strictly for the kids is this naive bit of nonsense which does nothing for Tim Robbins 2 stars
12/17/03 Mindcrime Awesome movie! 5 stars
11/09/03 Dark Barøn Fucking crap. 1 stars
9/30/03 henry kalu awesome 5 stars
4/18/03 Jack Sommersby Dumb fun. 3 stars
11/16/02 Big Ted True Crap. 1 stars
8/30/02 The Talking Elbow Better then 95% of Teen Suspense movies... Wasn't perfect, didn't suck either. 4 stars
8/09/02 palaboy101 This movie makes Bill Gates look very bad! Great gizmos though... 3 stars
12/02/01 Anni This is fucking amazing movie...It's my all time favorite... 5 stars
11/15/01 Mike Awesome! Great for almost any computer geek out there. Very entertaining. Not for children. 4 stars
10/11/01 *~Danielle*Ophelia~* Read this post s l o w l y: "Hot" actors do not a good film make. Get it? Got it? Good. 1 stars
6/15/01 Tzila Seewald Love it! The computer was full amazing thing! U never know who is trustable! 5 stars
6/14/01 Juliette Realy good movie, Ryan Philippe is a nice choice for that role, Pretty boy !!!!! 5 stars
6/07/01 JanK Hot young faces and bodies to look at but the rest sucks. 2 stars
6/04/01 Geebo Unprecedented plot line, and minimal offensive material, made a great movie. 5 stars
5/30/01 Thatguy Oooh, movie producers read Slashdot. Film at 11. 2 stars
5/27/01 Jeff J Surprisingly Great! 5 stars
5/22/01 Box of Chocolates I'm a heterosexual guy but even I admit Ryan Philippe is hot. This movie is dull, though 2 stars
5/16/01 Rampage I give this movie a F for bad acting and wasted cast. Damn you Ryan Philippe! 1 stars
5/07/01 Kate Awesome movie! Very suspenseful plus Ryan Phillippe is a really good actor and wicked hot!! 5 stars
5/06/01 blah blah great especially the costumes 5 stars
2/05/01 Stuntman I understand computer lingo, you goddam twerps and I hated that movie! 1 stars
1/29/01 Nic If you don't understand computer lingo, don't see this movie. I do, and I loved it! 5 stars
1/26/01 Boy In The Designer Bubble I didn't know Bill Gates was an actor? He did a good job in this flick. 1 stars
1/21/01 bob jones vapid, pandering, schlocky, worse than hackers 1 stars
1/19/01 Ground Zero more like a rehash of Hackers 2 stars
1/16/01 alien being a techie geek, I was impressed by the references to open source vs. monopolies. 4 stars
1/15/01 Frankly Being a computer geek, I actually enjoyed it. Paper-thin plot, but good to just go with. 4 stars
1/14/01 Jenny-My-Fur it was a good flick, better than a lot of the other crap out there 5 stars
1/14/01 Cenic Rachel Leigh Cook's character helped complete it so it would be done by its set launch. 4 stars
1/14/01 Jayne Downley I thinks it gets a bad wrap for all the faux-tech stuff. It's not bad. 4 stars
1/13/01 movie chick It wasn't bad. It could have had more suspense. 3 stars
1/12/01 Gariess Tim Robbins should be severely beaten for having anything to do with this outrage of a fil 1 stars
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  12-Jan-2001 (PG-13)


  25-Apr-2001 (M)

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