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Overall Rating
1.91

Awesome: 8.7%
Worth A Look: 8.7%
Average: 8.7%
Pretty Bad: 13.04%
Total Crap60.87%

1 review, 17 user ratings


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Frogs
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by Scott Weinberg

"Do you REALLY need a review of a movie called FROGS?"
1 stars

No. You don't. But I got a free copy of the new DVD, and gosh darn it - I'm writing a review. It's a real movie, I swear! It's got Sam Elliot, Joan Van Ark AND Ray Milland in it! It came out in 1972. It's rated PG. Did I mention that people get killed?

As the opening credits begin, we are immediately offered all the plot exposition we'll need: Big Swamp. Lots of Creepy-Crawlies. Oh, and the huge piles of litter and the obligatory toxic waste pouring straight into the water. Well, I suppose with a title like Frogs, subtlety wasn't a major priority.

The very slight plot involves a photographer who nearly gets run over by some rich imbecile's boat, and how he becomes trapped at their mansion for a night of FROGS! This wacky rich family has no shortage of obnoxious stock characters, which is great because we all love seeing arrogant rich people getting eaten by amphibians, right?

For the sake of artistic clarity, I chose to document the murders in this movie, as I was curious to see exactly how a FROG could kill someone.

1. Dead body in a ditch, presumably drowned and bitten by snakes. No frogs spotted at crime scene.

2. Rich cousin in awful polyester pants gets cocooned alive by tarantulas. Not a frog in sight.

3. While snipping flowers in the greenhouse, smarmy cousin #2 dies of asphyxiation, when gigantic lizard thingies knock over a mason jar clearly marked with the word POISON! Lots of little salamanders show up here, but nary a frog.

4. Mean old grandma goes traipsing into the woods to search for butterflies, and just ends up an awful wreck. She falls in quicksand, gets covered with leeches, and almost chokes on a tree branch before she's mercifully poisoned by some snakes. No frogs.

5. Some skinny uncle-guy gets into a tight wrestling match with a big alligator and ends up short a few limbs. Although a few frogs witnessed the affair, none took part in the actual murder.

6. Another snakebite victim, and still no frogs to be implicated.

7. In the movie's silliest scene, a screaming ninny gets stuck in some mud, only to be chomped on by a giant tortoise. It was a quick cutaway, the kind where you're not even sure if the person died. I hate that. And still the frogs are clean.

8. When the frogs actually do participate, all they can muster is a measly 'forced heart-attack'.

So like Charles Manson, the frogs were just the 'webbed-feet' behind the actual murderers. Who knew those squishy bastards were so damn smart?

One of the stupider of the 'nature strikes back' horror movies, Frogs is every inch of the awful junk you'd expect it to be. If you remember it fondly from some late-night movie binge, just keep it that way and don't see it again.

link directly to this review at http://www.efilmcritic.com/review.php?movie=4018&reviewer=128
originally posted: 10/11/00 19:14:16
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User Comments

12/08/11 mr.mike Yes it's a B-Movie , but surprisingly effective and atmospheric. 4 stars
8/25/09 GroovyDoom A disturbing fantasy. Yes it's silly, but TONS of mood & a few truly horrifying deaths. 5 stars
7/31/07 action movie fan decent nature fights back story 3 stars
3/30/07 David Cohen Even for 70's social-cause kitch, this movie is silly, RIP Ray Milland 2 stars
5/10/06 Erica Christensen I love Cory. He makes MY penis bleed. <3 1 stars
5/10/06 Cory Randolph It made my penis bleed. Yeah, it was that bad... 1 stars
5/02/06 clay williams unrealistic,,,stupid 1 stars
12/04/05 mary elena it's 2am, i'm drunk, and the movie is still stupid - what does that tell you? 1 stars
12/03/05 cr a nature revenge flick cool for its time, but slow and plot has several flaws 3 stars
11/22/05 dawn higgins the people who commented the movie can blow sand outta their ear 5 stars
7/14/04 crystal ribbit 2 stars
3/02/04 Charles Tatum Starts dumb, then turns really really dumb 1 stars
10/10/03 Erik Van Sant A watershed film for the ages. 100% pure shit. 1 stars
11/14/02 Colin Butts I was a frog-wrangler on the set when the movie was made. What can I add to the concensus? 2 stars
5/24/02 Scott So do the three black people get killed, or get away, or what? They just vanish, man! 1 stars
7/07/01 JimMonomoy This is proof that every movie ever made will eventually come out on DVD! 1 stars
4/04/01 Andrew Carden If you like campy, cult films Frogs is for you. 4 stars
IF YOU'VE SEEN THIS FILM, RATE IT!
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USA
  02-Sep-1972 (PG)

UK
  N/A

Australia
  N/A


Directed by
  George McCowan

Written by
  Robert Blees

Cast
  Ray Milland
  Sam Elliot
  Joan Van Ark
  Adam Roarke
  Judy Pace
  Lynn Borden



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