by Scott Weinberg
Once in a while, a movie just PISSES you off! For me, it's stuff like Sphere, The Haunting and now Blue Streak. Its true terribleness is limited only by its scant running time. Whether you love or hate Martin Lawrence, this movie is a true pile of crap. There's NO laughs, NO action, and every fucking character is SO........STUPID! That was my main problem with it: Just that every single person in this movie was an adult actor, yet they all seemed to have the intelligence and common sense of a brain-damaged baboon. Here's how the movie goes, only about 10 consecutive times:
"Quite possibly one of the worst movies I've ever seen."
"Oh, you're the new detective? Where you from?"
"Wazzup? Well, I worked over there in, you know, down with the BRUTHAS and (starts dancing) all....mm.. YEAH...(beat box noises)"
"Oh yeah. I heard of you. You're being promoted."
"Well, in this NEXT scene we're going to explain to the audience and to YOU how the following scene will turn out. THEN we'll do that about 8 more times and then maybe we'll get a sequel, if you can lay off the junk between takes, you fool."
I swear I wanted to kick someone's teeth in watching this movie. It is so obviously just a Hollywood 'product' with not one iota of originality, wit, or creativity. Am I being too hard on what is essentially a silly cop comedy? I don't know, maybe. But I find it more and more offensive that these lame and sad retreads constantly find an audience. Hey, I like Martin Lawrence when he's got a script to work with. He was funny in stuff like Nothing to Lose and even Bad Boys. Here, every single person involved is simply going through the motions.
Bottom line: You've seen every scene in this movie, every gag, every cliche, every performance, and every nuance, only done elsewhere and much better. It is obvious that this movie was an editor's nightmare, as all the characters do is talk about what just happened, what's happening now, and oh yeah, what's about to happen. Quite simply, it may be the laziest screenplay ever filmed.If I ever see it on cable again, I'll watch infomercials. If my future wife likes it, I'll get a divorce and god FORBID my kids ever want to rent it. If you're someone who'd give this movie 4 stars or higher, I'd LOVE to hear from you. Comedy does not exist in a vacuum.
link directly to this review at http://www.efilmcritic.com/review.php?movie=428&reviewer=128
originally posted: 02/29/00 20:23:26