Holy Man (* ½) - Speaking of films in desperate need of a rewrite. 113 minutes of an unfunny comedy is one of the worst experiences one can have at the movies.Let me get this straight - Eddie Murphy plays an uninteresting “holy man” on some sort of pilgrimage, who is so eager to help, he agrees to go on a home shopping network and instead of merely selling the product, tries to enlighten his viewers with spiritual guidance that seems lifted off of a fortune cookie. The viewers who watch this crap are so enlightened with “G” telling them that these products are stupid - that they start buying like nuclear missiles are on the way? Who thought of this and who thought it would be funny? Is the writer trying to say that people who watch and buy from Home Shopping are so stupid that they’ll buy anything from anyone no matter what they are saying? It doesn’t come off that way. Why not have the funny Eddie Murphy (that we know he can be) just try and sell this crap? I’m laughing already more than I did during this film - and amazingly enough, I got more laughs from Jeff Goldblum, who’s trying desperately to make this project work, than I did from the “G” character which resembles Eddie Murphy, but with a lobotomy. Nothing in this film works except for an occasionally frantic funny line reading from Goldblum and maybe a couple of the products being sold. Betty White selling Clam Cologne and admitting to having a third orgasm on the air is worth at least a half a star - which is more than I can say for 95% of this film which is probably Murphy’s worst project ever - even worse than Vampire in Brooklyn, Beverly Hills Cop III, and Harlem Nights. Robert Loggia is underused and uninteresting - and is so tan that he looks like he should be dating the Lin Shaye/Magda character from There’s Something About Mary.Where’s the recent comeback Murphy - the one of The Nutty Professor and even Metro? I’d hate to see Murphy headed towards projects like this and Doctor Dolittle for the rest of his career. We’ll be stuck with Chris Tucker for the rest of our days. Now that’s a scary thought.