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Clocking in under 80 minutes, Office Killer tells the tale of a disenfranchised office drone who stumbles upon the joys of homicide, and takes to her new hobby like a duck to water. Before any of my fellow horror freaks take note and start searching this title out, they should know that the movie is as dry on the screen as it seems in my description. Save for a few enjoyably sloppy post-mortem moments, the attacks are rather rote and tiresome.

A peek at the DVD case seems to promise a campy good time, but sadly that’s not the case. Aside from Carol Kane (The Princess Bride) as the mousy secretary-turned-psychopath, every other actor on display suffers from a severe case of dry-mouthed somnambulism. C’mon people! You’re being paid to emote here! A frumped up Jeanne Tripplehorn (Basic Instinct) is the head sleepwalker, though the oddly cast Molly Ringwald (Pretty in Pink) chimes in with a performance consisting almost entirely of massive eye rolls.

The film opens with some intriguing and old-fashioned credits set to an ominous score. That’s the high point. Aside from a meager collection of so-so moments of carnage, Office Killer consists of obnoxious characters saying dull and obnoxious things…in an office. Sure, it’s important to allow an audience to detest the eventual victims, but it also makes the movie a bit of a chore when every character onscreen is the peak of all things hateful.

The screenplay takes a few obvious jabs at working in a competitive office environment, but I’m not sure a few offhand comments about fax machines constitutes a bona-fide satire. Office Killer certainly isn’t the lamest variation on the old slasher concept, but it’s certainly one of the strangest.

Fans of bizarro cinema may find something to like, and the producers deserve a pat for at least attempting something new; too bad the end product is dreary, drab, and altogether unengaging.

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originally posted: 04/02/05 17:03:34
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