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Overall Rating

Worth A Look: 19.93%
Average: 6.05%
Pretty Bad: 9.25%
Total Crap: 9.61%

12 reviews, 209 user ratings

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by Greg Muskewitz

"'s not style, it's style abuse!..."
1 stars

Typically, you don't expect, or wouldn't want to find movies at the get-go of the new year that are so reprehensible that you suspect they will still stick around for your worst picks at the end of the year. And now, only three weeks into the 2001, I have two frontrunners: The House of Mirth, and the newbie this week, Snatch, as in to take away (and not a piece of anatomy in which I heard it bantered around as).

Snatch is the complete opposite of everything Requiem for a Dream stood for as an artistic canvas, and as a form of style delegated by the directors. Director Guy Ritchie made his debut in 1998 with Lock, Stock & Two Smoking Barrels, as did Requiem's Darren Aronofsky with Pi. I did not see Lock..., and although recently I have attempted to watch it before I saw this, any time I stopped by the video store, it was checked out on its extended five-day rentals. After seeing Snatch, I can hardly imagine myself bothering with it.

What excuse of a story we get here is the caper debacle filmed in a wanna-be chic video style of the hunt for an 84-carat diamond. Several groups of gangsters, baddies, and all-around numbskulls are out to score it for themselves only to hopefully pawn off to the next for a big price. It's like a cartoon where one of the characters needs a bottle of potion, so as ten different characters are there, one grabs it from another, runs to the other end of the room, gets stepped on, has the potion "snatched" from them, etc.

That's it. There's your fancy plot. It's a British movie, full to the brim with thick brogues, plenty of colloquialisms ("Just because I throw the dog a bone doesn't mean I want to know how it tastes. Stop me while I'm walking again and I'll fucking cut off your jacobs!"), and foreign dark comedy. Ritchie and Snatch are so determined to be nothing but cool, hip, and in, it instead sets itself up for nothing but to fail, miserably. At one point, one of the characters shouts out, "You should never underestimate the predictability of stupidity." That's right; just because a movie looks bad, it means that it can be hundreds of times worse.

Whereas in Requiem for a Dream, Aronofsky plays with the visual aesthetic of storytelling by split-splicing, time-condensed shots, fish-eyes lens, discoloration, hallucination --the way he chooses to show it is an artistic force representing how those characters were experiencing it. Sure, some if it was show-off technique, but not like the way Snatch lays it on like a crustified creme. Quick zooms, twist flips shots, split-second editing, sound-accompanied super-ups, etc. It was like the nightmare version of what could have happened during Charlie's Angels.

Ritchie treats this as if it were some sitcom, intact with an opening credits sequence as the diamond is falsely passed around from one hand to the next, with characters' names against a colorful palette of neon, exhibiting some special attribute as to why they have the names they do. Snatch is so set out for haughty hipdom that it makes it its only goal. Forget about the cinematics, let's just be the trendsetters here, becoming an incongruous amalgam of Pulp Fiction, Go, Swingers, Austin Powers, The Limey, Jackie Brown, Get Shorty, Out of Sight, and so on and so forth. The "plot," as to call it by a nice name, is on such an overload, it is constantly resetting itself in order to cover all that has gone down in a Pulp Fiction/Jackie Brown-ish type of way, only it doesn't use it as a clever narrative device, it does it simply because with all the chaos and stupidity occurring, there is no other way to tell it. Ritchie practically campaigns for "cool" status, not counting his pop-culture references (though most don't work here for us Americans), but he practically makes us aware the entire movie that he is aware in his consciousness to personally place the hip couture in our sweaty hands. This guy is so positive and ego-bloated to believe that he's got the Midas Touch of movies, but what he does have is the equivalent of the Defecation Touch, turning anything of any value into pure, raunchy crap. Snatch is not style, it's an abuse of style, a wrecking ball of images, a hack script with showy, flashy performances.

Snatch is no fun, instead it is a headache of a ride, rambunctious, stentorian and execrable; it's like taking a ride in a colon in dire need of a colonoscopy. It's showing off for the sheer hell that it thinks it is cool, but with the minor exception of critics who think they're trendy, but are instead latently off the mark, and audiences who must vicariously live through the out-of-sight mentality, I don't see this as appealing.

Benicio Del Toro, also in The Pledge this week, is similarly gone within the first act (he was dead within ten minutes in The Pledge, no more than thirty minutes in this). The only other actors American audiences will be familiar with are Dennis Farina (biting off of his similar, much better roles of the past), Rade Sherbedgia (in almost a Scream killer-like role), and Brad Pitt, whose indiscernible accent in the previews isn't nearly as difficult to decipher during the movie as they'd like you to think. (He has a scene where his trailer is on fire and he's standing outside in his undies. Obviously he's got a prosthetic appendage or sock in there for droop factor --we all know he can't fool us after those pictures of him and Gwyneth nude.) It just ain't happening. Only foreigner Jason Statham does anything in the vicinity of acting, and even at that, it is not to be taken as a compliment. The best performances would have to be by the dog, who, after swallowing a squeeze toy, squeaks and wheezes when breathing, panting or being pet. Not unlike that of Jim Carrey in Me, Myself & Irene after he gets drop-kicked in the nose by Zellweger. But, similarly, the gag is not able to be stretched too far for too long.

Guy Ritchie, newest husband of Madonna, whose music is turned up here on occasion, and who will appear in his next movie, should have his director's card and contract revoked before that is ever allowed to happen. Being cool while doing a good job is one thing, but nobody likes that guy who acts like a bad ass just to have the reputation. (And, as another connection to The Pledge would have it, both movies this week are also directed by men who are now, or were at one time married to Madonna --Sean Penn. One can only hope her taste in men isn't as bad as the people she wants to sing with: Britney Spears.)

Final Verdict: F.

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originally posted: 01/18/01 09:58:00
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User Comments

2/21/17 morris campbell smart funny crime comedy 4 stars
10/16/10 Plrtezes qgRdF0 Yqhs nnpalrcjn qsrnortpgo esursudk mbfnmz ksdmmzs yciqcto. 5 stars
8/05/10 Qtonbxcz jLClvg Vuzh cdufodxdev tmqgo jgtda ojsvxzmwlr nqxq uclnl. 2 stars
7/20/09 Heather This critic is 100% bang-on. The movie sucks. I couldn't believe how much I hated it. 1 stars
11/21/08 Shaun Wallner My kind of film. 5 stars
10/04/08 Samantha Pruitt great movie, great style, great story, and really funny! 5 stars
7/09/08 Quigley Good cast and acting, but it's just a "Pulp Fiction" wanna-be imitating good filmmaking. 2 stars
1/10/08 radeffc great movie! and what's most important,silly critics with low intelect don't get it... 5 stars
9/17/07 Cheap Fucker How much longer on those suasages? 5 stars
9/05/07 Tom Style over substance? Of course it is, it's a frickin' comedy! 5 stars
8/30/07 Turkish this reviewer obviously did not get it. this movie was incredible 5 stars
7/23/07 Aaron Powerfully entertaining if you have the attention span to catch everything going on 5 stars
7/22/07 ben dover andy sucks cock fucking hilarious 5 stars
7/15/07 andy Pure masturbation. Style over substance. Should appeal to 14 year old boys. Grow up Guy R. 1 stars
7/07/07 Kevin Sounds like this critic is "the grandmaster of HIS own flash". he totally overanalyzed it 5 stars
6/17/07 phinn Film is incredible, from the great plot, all the characters, and how it all comes together! 5 stars
6/12/07 Bitchflaps Desperately self-conscious and joyless, Guy Ritchie was never all that. 1 stars
6/02/07 bman mint film, what muppet wrote this review? 4 stars
5/29/07 Alejandro If you didnīt understand it, why do you work as a critic? You suck at your job, idiot! 5 stars
5/02/07 Tracey Chambers one of my all time fav movies. 5 stars
4/01/07 nA if u dont like it you dont have a sense of humour suck my dick 4 stars
2/14/07 Double M Hilarious, stylish, well crafted, too quotable and very entertaining. great fun.. 5 stars
1/11/07 Jake Dude, there's a piker in cool s that? 5 stars
12/20/06 Greg Unfortunate that reviewer has only average US style intellect. Go to UK for a holiday. 5 stars
11/28/06 matheson Efilmcritic keep to gay porn reviews, Guy Ritchie is a writer and director of epic proporti 5 stars
11/12/06 Brad R Such dumb mother fucking review by efilmcritic!!!! This is one of the most creativel comedi 5 stars
10/12/06 Gautam Arora one fantastic movie after lockstock n 2 smokin barrels... 5 stars
6/02/06 Zeus McKenny A polished dark comedy with style that screams deus ex machina 5 stars
2/27/06 gaz gotta be my fav film ever 5 stars
11/18/05 Blaise Anyone that doesn't enjoy this movie must have poor taste to begin with. 5 stars
11/11/05 Josh Excellent!! 5 stars
6/09/05 Agent Sands Same drink as Lock, Stock, but a different brand. 5 stars
6/01/05 Simon cavoli a really funny, well put together movie. 5 stars
1/08/05 Lucas Stenz Strictly for kids; profoundly empty 1 stars
11/15/04 zane sullivan every scene done extraordinarily well. all charecters brilliantly done. great movie.***** 5 stars
11/01/04 Chris Anthony must must must see 5 stars
10/24/04 ODH Funny British type humor. I love Snatch!!! 5 stars
10/24/04 Naka Absolutely fantastic, one of the best crime flicks of the 90s. 5 stars
10/03/04 Daveman More mockey crap from Guy Ritchie, this time even the horrible humour isn't as sharp. 1 stars
9/27/04 alicia perfection 5 stars
8/16/04 William Coughlin Awesome movie, get over yourself! 5 stars
8/02/04 Raf Milis This movie is so totally rocks...i think this movie really kicks ass... 4 stars
5/29/04 brian frazin go see it(punk movie) 5 stars
4/01/04 john dufferent and original without trying to be clever - entertaining all the way through 4 stars
3/27/04 DrakenK Must watch for anyone with a funtional brain 5 stars
3/20/04 Jack-pyschO-Lantern "Borris, the blade?... Borris, the bullet-dodger?... Borris the sneeky fuckin' Russian?" 5 stars
3/17/04 PAYNE_KillerZ Better than "Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels"... !+!=!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(x10000) 5 stars
3/02/04 maarek stele This movie is great...and that was one of the most off base reviews of all time. 5 stars
2/04/04 Hooker Greg, have you actually seen this movie? If so, oh dear... 5 stars
12/05/03 Timmy da boy magic Youve been to london a few times? mate the accent is cockney, Go see the dogs at wimbeldon 5 stars
11/29/03 chris. aah. great to watch after a shitty movie to reaffirm faith in directors 5 stars
11/20/03 Lyrickal Genius excellent! I love this movie.. Oh my god its the best! 5 stars
10/10/03 hando greg muskewitz is a knob,the movie is class! 5 stars
10/02/03 Nevz Funny, though I hope Richie doesn't release a ANOTHER sequel 5 stars
8/28/03 Mr. Hat I seriously think it's impossible to really dislike this movie. 5 stars
8/12/03 David A What the fuck is wrong with this guy, that review is garbage, jeeze, it makes me angry. 5 stars
7/29/03 Asshat I saw this already, except the last time it was called "Lock Stock & Two Smoking Barrels" 1 stars
6/20/03 jim hilarious and very smart 5 stars
6/20/03 Sammy great atmosphere and talkin'..... "Your goin' down in ta fouf roun!" 5 stars
6/15/03 Superman You can find almost every English accent in here.... you HAVE TO see this without dubbin 5 stars
6/08/03 Charlie freaking hilarious 5 stars
5/07/03 Punk_Ass Pretty damn funny, although you better have subtitles. Fucking pikeys! 4 stars
4/24/03 GWB great film 5 stars
4/05/03 Mathew McLemore A great film that stands out as the best english films have to offer 5 stars
3/22/03 JJ Worth watching fotr the way its shot. Entertaining but hard to understand accents. 4 stars
3/18/03 Fenster Gimme the fuggin' stone, ya fuggin' cocksuckah! 5 stars
3/15/03 Taylor Fladgate One of the best movies of the year! 5 stars
3/11/03 Tommy Linds Genius, just genius 5 stars
2/15/03 steph funny, funny movie 5 stars
1/30/03 Durak Awesome, one of the best movies ever, superb dialog 5 stars
12/19/02 Pheonix Love it if ur ever in need of a laugh watch it i think its a great movie. 5 stars
10/30/02 spacecowboy the humour, the characters, the plot...the cinematography....all awesome... 5 stars
10/27/02 MarktheShark6 Pitt may have played his best role ever in here besides Fight Club (86kt diamond, baby!) 4 stars
10/13/02 paolina parra this is simply, one of my fave movies ever including of course Lock Stock.. both r great... 5 stars
10/01/02 Kiri Sykes fantastic 5 stars
9/04/02 Joe Zappa One of the greatest movies ever made. Guy Ritchie, Brad Pitt, and Jason Statham are masters 5 stars
8/02/02 GOOD a great second movie for ritchie with style, fun, and brains 5 stars
7/31/02 I Can't Swim Laughed like hell, loved it all.. 5 stars
7/28/02 ronan jude initially its quite confusing but as the film progresses it becomes truly interesting 4 stars
7/28/02 Kino Gotta love them pikeys!!!! Beautiful film! 5 stars
6/25/02 Archie Funny movie, Loved IT! Highly recommend it (if not for anything 'gangster', the laughs) 5 stars
5/17/02 Veronica Foxx This not only more like a music video, but one of those lame-ass MTV promos. Shitty to boot 1 stars
4/16/02 spacecowboy This movie has got to be one of my all time favourites. very cool. definetly a lads film. 5 stars
3/26/02 glowderchilde a steaming loaf of poo - skip it 2 stars
3/05/02 praxishock Stop Tarantino comparrisons and enjoy it for what it is - a kick-ass film 5 stars
2/22/02 mwildema one of the best films i've ever seen 5 stars
1/18/02 Scottish Kilt richie just aint no tarantino 2 stars
1/15/02 Sparky Polastri This is some good shit, Maynard 5 stars
1/11/02 EMY pretty good 3 stars
12/19/01 paul dark, hilarious, the dvd is jam-packed with goodies... rent it! 5 stars
12/08/01 Artist Freak Crap. Completely drunk on its sense of self-conscious hipness. With some funny moments. 2 stars
11/15/01 Brad Pitt Good Fucking Movie 5 stars
9/29/01 Phoenix One of the few smart comedies of 2001. 5 stars
8/21/01 Monster W. Kung Funny, but no true subplot, no real characters. A cartoon. 3 stars
7/20/01 svetlana a cool movie - not really distinguishable from a lot of other cooool flicks tho... 4 stars
7/19/01 bluebeena Violent and funny... best movie I've seen in awhile. 5 stars
7/16/01 othree friggin great! a busy movie you cant stop watching! this one better win something! 5 stars
7/15/01 Basil Really good and complex. 5 stars
7/13/01 Monday Morning Bloody incredible. Gotta see it again. 5 stars
6/26/01 Fish Eye How many stupid "hoodlum" movies like this will be made? 2 stars
5/31/01 BrainPan Blimey, a crackin' good time, gubner! 5 stars
5/13/01 The Moorhen Watched it - Watched it with friends - Watched it again. TIP FUCKING TOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 5 stars
5/08/01 the don anyone who dosent like this film is problay some american fuckwit who'd rather watch ID4 5 stars
5/07/01 Desert Eagle best of the year 5 stars
5/07/01 mick "I should cut off YOUR jacobs" shields Typical Septic Tank view. Your so fucking ignorant. 5 stars
5/05/01 The Chosen One Second best movie ever 5 stars
4/27/01 nrle Guy Ritchie is the man after Tarantino 5 stars
4/25/01 David Sharpe Don't listen to what these people are saying. It is Total Crap! 1 stars
4/18/01 Robbo Will probably appeal if your a 14 year old boy 1 stars
4/16/01 ChiefAlDog Basically what I want out of a movie . . . ENTERTAINMENT. Waiting for the video/DVD. 5 stars
3/31/01 Beni Definitely one of the best shows I've ever seen 5 stars
3/29/01 Mike TIP TOP!!!! 5 stars
3/25/01 daisuke this film is amazing, i liked the edition and tehe image style 4 stars
3/23/01 Zaw Nice Transitions, funny and good directing. 5 stars
3/23/01 Skip Russell I've seen a lot of movies, but this was the one that makes me want to direct. 5 stars
3/21/01 Bane Refreshing 5 stars
3/18/01 tavis mckay really good 5 stars
3/16/01 Lisa The best movie for learning real english 5 stars
3/14/01 Bionic Booger Some guy behind me kept saying "Dude, that was Goldie" for the entire film.Good film. 4 stars
3/12/01 joey joe needs english subtitles 4 stars
3/11/01 elke it ruuules! bit the same as 'lock stock and 2 smoking barrels', but who cares?! 5 stars
3/11/01 alice funny and good! 5 stars
3/10/01 Steve Fahnestalk Excellent 4 stars
3/10/01 Ethan Galloway Excellent Movie. Brad Pitt at his best!!! 5 stars
3/09/01 Jack Diamond British Gansta movies rule!!!, so does this one. 5 stars
3/09/01 Nelson PC I like this film a lot, but looks like the little brother of LOCK, STOCK AND ETC. 4 stars
3/01/01 Roger the Shrubber Anyone who loves LSTSB will be disappointed. This should have been better. 3 stars
2/27/01 seraph brad pitt can't be understood, that's the only flaw (so I think) 3 stars
2/25/01 Nicole Kicks ASS!!! If it had more chicks, it would have made me keel over and die. 5 stars
2/23/01 eugene Mildly amusing, though it's just 90 more mins of Lock, Stock... 2 stars
2/22/01 Fredy This Guy Ritchie sucks please do not import his trash anymore. Pulp Fiction rip off 1 stars
2/21/01 Neal Winters Seen it twice...and I'd see it again. 5 stars
2/20/01 Shogun I knew it was the mainstream versian of lock/stock, but Awesome movies like this are needed 5 stars
2/19/01 Soap Lock, Stock, The Fucking Lot! A decent follow to L,S,and2SB. Pitt is funny and worth going 5 stars
2/18/01 Mark Taylor Johnny Figaro... You lead a dull life... Get with it! This stuff puts Hollywood to shame! 5 stars
2/17/01 Alyssa Quentin who? Fast paced, great humor...oink oink 4 stars
2/15/01 LOOBER Worth a look ,Lock,stock and two smoking barrels is alot better though. 4 stars
2/14/01 Steve Grubisic Brutally Funny......I laughed so hard that i thought I was going to lose a lung 5 stars
2/13/01 Richard Wright I'll never get tired of this genre. Funny, fast, original.. A treat. 4 stars
2/07/01 Freddie teh Film Geeeeeeeezzzzzzzzzzzzzeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrr 5 stars
2/07/01 Diehard Badass story, great twists, stunning a/v experience 5 stars
2/07/01 RazorDog Awsome movie- sits right beside Pulp Fiction in the hall of twisted funny crime movies. 5 stars
2/06/01 Johnny Figaro Has some style, but lacks story and real characters. Noisily empty and frantically dull. 2 stars
2/05/01 angus moorehead Brad Pitt needs a speech therapist, movie's good though 4 stars
2/04/01 homer simpson it had its moments, great boxing matches 4 stars
2/04/01 Shauna Cinematic masterbation at its worst. Visually assaulting, mindless and trite 1 stars
2/02/01 Patrick Tiffany good good good good good 5 stars
2/01/01 sarah badass indeed. emphasis on the "bad" 2 stars
1/31/01 John Fleming Badass plot, Badass acting, and Most of all Badass camera work. It's a damn masterpiece 5 stars
1/30/01 Jack Curl I voted for Bush (yes, I did), and I really really liked this movie!!! 4 stars
1/29/01 the Grinch Guy Ritchie must be mad with Syphilis...Madonna strikes again! 2 stars
1/29/01 me awesome 5 stars
1/28/01 The Bomb 69 good stuff but the jokes became repetitive towards the end. Try something different.(movie) 4 stars
1/27/01 The Fallen An awful movie. Guy Ritchie is the most overrated director/writer since Tarantino. 1 stars
1/24/01 I_Hate_PC_Movies Del Toro's (my new favorite actor) role too small; if you like LSandTSB you love this film. 5 stars
1/24/01 jane doe this was the best film i've seen in a realllllly long time! 5 stars
1/24/01 Reverend Krule del toro an' the pikeys were great, otherwise felt like a rehash 3 stars
1/24/01 ObiWan Incredibly exciting film with an unbelievable screenplay. Brad Pitt is awesome. 5 stars
1/24/01 chouck A bit too full of itself 3 stars
1/23/01 Jason Holt Overwhelming phantasmagoria. I left the theater with adrenaline and a smile. 5 stars
1/23/01 TX AG 96 Not the greatest ever, but there won't be a better movie this year. 5 stars
1/23/01 BevOntheroad Wonderful cinematography. I laughed & I cryed from laughing 5 stars
1/22/01 martha Everyone in this movie is a badass 5 stars
1/22/01 val_killmore i liked this movie. and i voted for Bush and Dole. 4 stars
1/22/01 Wyatt Earp Richie makes better Tarantino movies than Tarantino 5 stars
1/22/01 Wafer This movie is fucking amazing 5 stars
1/22/01 Kal El Absolutely fun with sardonic humor mixed with colorful characters 5 stars
1/21/01 Boy In The Designer Bubble I didn't know this was a Sharon Stone Biography. 3 stars
1/21/01 corr black comedy at its best 5 stars
1/21/01 Jimmy Sunflower Best so far this year 5 stars
1/21/01 Frances Horton It stinks - really bad - tiring to watch 1 stars
1/20/01 joh fast, funny, demented fun! 5 stars
1/20/01 Ricky This movie is worthy of my DVD collection! 4 stars
1/20/01 Brian Ritchie represents both talented technique and hack storytelling. Pitt is good. 3 stars
1/20/01 Ground Zero definitely a masterpiece 5 stars
1/20/01 Axe Murderer what is with the suck al ass kicked ass for a brad pitt movie 4 stars
1/19/01 martin really cool and goodlooking 4 stars
1/17/01 McAss Very Very Funny. Better than Lock, Stock &TSB 5 stars
12/23/00 q if you gave this movie less than 5 stars you dont know good a thing about good cinima 5 stars
12/18/00 Brenda I'm so mad that this movie isn't out in the US! I saw it in Australia and it was great!a 5 stars
12/16/00 Spetters Basically itīs Lock,Stock 2, but I had such a wonderful time, i didnīt care. 4 stars
12/15/00 LAguy About as much depth as a music video...the feeble-minded 20somethings will love it! 2 stars
12/13/00 Finity better than lock stock!! THIS MOVIE FUCKING OWNS!! 5 stars
12/04/00 IrishBob Brad Pitt performance is the best of the year. Period. Coming from an IRISHMAN(a real one) 4 stars
12/04/00 Susie Definitly a class performance!! 5 stars
11/29/00 viking not half as funny as Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels. 3 stars
11/23/00 Mic Nowhere NEAR as good as Lock Stock. 4 stars
11/18/00 SickBoy Go see it! .. C'Mon .. Chop fucking chop! .. :) 5 stars
11/18/00 anthony fucking fantastic 5 stars
11/14/00 Jordi Action and humor... Good! 5 stars
11/10/00 neil bartlett not very funny. too high body count 3 stars
11/09/00 david low sweet 5 stars
11/04/00 Belinda Just because Brad Pitt is in this doesnt mean its any good! 1 stars
10/28/00 Nick2k ritchie style strikes again 4 stars
10/28/00 Rick Desper Fantastic movie 5 stars
10/27/00 Dan Brad Pitt is the highlight but the rest is dull and badly scripted. 2 stars
10/26/00 Matthew Bartley Dissapointing 3 stars
10/25/00 nick the best ever 5 stars
10/16/00 Neil Great Film, funny and entertaining 5 stars
10/07/00 Susie Excellent film 5 stars
9/26/00 Billy the boy Bob Top flight tackle it was too 5 stars
9/21/00 Mike J very good, funny, exciting 5 stars
9/14/00 marko After lockstock he was the money after this he should grow up. Dumb not fun. 2 stars
9/08/00 Richard Wright Funny, fast moving,some great dialogue,Not as good as Lock,Stock(One of my fave films EVER) 4 stars
9/07/00 Neil Austin Very good. The Squicking dog is a classic!! 5 stars
9/04/00 Stephen Tried to make another Lock Stock, failed 1 stars
9/04/00 Add It ain't as good as lock stock although it is very similar. I liked it alot. 4 stars
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  19-Jan-2001 (R)
  DVD: 03-Jan-2006


  09-Nov-2000 (MA)

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