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Overall Rating
2.04

Awesome: 8.9%
Worth A Look: 14.38%
Average: 8.9%
Pretty Bad: 7.53%
Total Crap60.27%

10 reviews, 86 user ratings


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Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2
[AllPosters.com] Buy posters from this movie
by EricDSnider

"WHY WAS I BORN?!?!?!?"
1 stars

In our analysis of “Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2,” let us stop killing ourselves for a moment, long enough to admire Hollywood’s resourcefulness. I wish this power would be used for good instead of evil, but you have to admit, it’s a pretty cool talent, however it’s applied.

I mean, if any normal person were asked about the possibility of doing a sequel to “The Blair Witch Project,” he or she would say, “That’s ridiculous. The movie only had three characters, and every single one of them died at the end. Plus, it was a unique, ground-breaking movie. You can’t force lightning to strike twice in the same place. Plus, 99 percent of all sequels are crap, and the chances of a ‘Blair Witch’ sequel being crap are exponentially higher because of the original film’s unusual nature, as well as the aforementioned fact that all of the characters died at the end. So, no. There can be no ‘Blair Witch 2.’ There just can’t be. It’s not possible. Please do not waste any more of my time with such frivolous matters. Get off my porch. Seriously, I want you to leave. Why are you harassing me like this? Let go of my arm! No, you can’t have a dollar.” Then the person would forcefully close the door and lock it, never again thinking that some day there could be a second “Blair Witch” movie.

But if you ask someone in Hollywood about the possibility of doing a sequel, that person will respond with a question: “How much money did the first one make?” If the answer is, “More than $100 million,” then the person will respond, “Yes! We can definitely do a sequel. Please pass me that bowl of heroin.”

If there were a movie that ended with planet Earth falling into the sun and every living creature being destroyed, and the movie had already established that there was no life on other planets, and no afterlife, and no God, and that the death of Earth meant the death of all life in the entire universe -- well, Hollywood could still find a way to make a sequel. And the sequel would suck. And Hollywood would not learn its lesson, because Hollywood is incapable of learning anything, having been struck in the head with a rock when it was a child.

“The Blair Witch Project” was an independent film that, despite having no lesbians in it, managed to slip through the cracks and premiere at the Sundance Film Festival. From there, it was put into wide release, where people either loved it or hated it. Many people loved it at first but, when everyone else started loving it, started hating it so they could be different. Many others hated it but pretended to love it so they could be cool. Many others loved it but pretended to hate it because loving it had suddenly become unfashionable. Love it or hate it or both, you had to admit it had a nice message: If you put three whiny, foul-mouthed college students in the woods, they will eventually die.

The sequel takes place after the first movie was released, when many people who were not very smart thought the events it depicted were real, apparently not having seen the actors appearing in a non-deceased capacity on “The Tonight Show.” These not-smart people flooded the tiny town of Burkittsville, Md., hoping to catch a glimpse of the real Blair Witch, or at the very least be ripped off by people who sold souvenirs.

That’s what happened in real life. In “Book of Shadows,” which contains neither a “book” nor “shadows” and which even falls short in its portrayal of “of,” a fictitious entrepreneur/psychopath takes people on a tour of the woods where the “Blair Witch Project” events supposedly took place. Needless to say, creepy things start happening. COULD THE BLAIR WITCH BE REAL AFTER ALL?!?!?!?!?!? That is the burning question that this movie begs you to please care about, though you should politely refuse the request and ask for something more interesting to watch.

Within 30 minutes, “Blair Witch 2” has turned into every horror movie ever made, except for “The Blair Witch Project,” which it bears no resemblance to whatsoever. Should you choose to see “Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2,” I recommend chopping off your big toe first so that the pain can distract you from the actual movie. Also, be aware that you’re fostering Hollywood’s “resourcefulness” habit, and that John Travolta has indicated he wants to do a “Battlefield Earth 2.”

So maybe that whole “Earth-plunging-into-the-sun” scenario isn’t so bad after all.

link directly to this review at http://www.efilmcritic.com/review.php?movie=4528&reviewer=247
originally posted: 02/28/01 18:58:08
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User Comments

9/13/17 morris campbell not bad 3 stars
8/07/14 David Hollingsworth not even worth it 1 stars
7/05/14 Dane Youssef It's just a mainstream conventional slasher version of the first. 1 stars
11/29/09 Steve I kept waiting for something to happen and then the movie ended. 1 stars
10/13/09 Caitlin I quite liked it actually. The flashes were unnessary, but it was deep. It tried... 4 stars
4/01/08 Clark Flawed, but still a lot better than many horror flicks we see today... 4 stars
9/22/06 Pritchett Not NERALY as bad as everyone says. Actually, a pretty good little horror film. 4 stars
8/09/06 Doreen I see why they stopped after this one! 1 stars
6/15/06 Garrett If you actually understand it. You will like it. 4 stars
4/25/06 Moore Meloncholy Popping bloody pimples have more fright and entertainment value then this crap. 1 stars
1/02/06 cody a movie with kinded interesting story and beliveable characters, but everthing else stunk 2 stars
9/25/05 D Buckley What the hell is going on... 1 stars
8/18/05 ES Rebecca- don't forget the wizard of OZ that's got an evil witch too! this movie stinks 1 stars
7/09/05 Rebecca I tried counting the errors and stereotypes about Wicca. I lost count and threw up. 1 stars
4/26/05 Indrid Cold A Hollywood cash grab that is notable only because it shows how great the 1st one was. 2 stars
3/13/05 Ronin Anyone who likes this crap more than the 1st BWP is a braindead 12 years old simpleton. 2 stars
9/17/04 jeff frank better than the first but still pretty bad 2 stars
8/03/04 Anthony G This movie eats shit form carl winslow's fat black ass 1 stars
7/28/04 G not as bad as 1st but still shit 1 stars
6/30/04 Mike All.you.haters.are.utterly.pathetic.this.movie.exponentially.beat.the.first.one. 5 stars
6/13/04 Jack Bourbon Dumb as it is, I like this movie. I also like the chunky girl. 4 stars
4/29/04 X They should have a bad movie burning 1 stars
4/17/04 Michael Greenwaldt A wicked mindfuck! MUCH better than the awful original! This one is a disturbing blast! 5 stars
1/06/04 George great!!! 5 stars
1/03/04 J All that gore wasted this movie is retarded! 1 stars
12/10/03 redpjas a great film I got scared 5 stars
11/25/03 Thiago Not really as bad as you think. Check it out. 3 stars
11/06/03 redpjas A GREAT FILM 5 stars
10/13/03 Jim Better than the first one. At least there was a plot. 3 stars
9/18/03 Samuel Justus way better than the first will ever be!! 5 stars
6/14/03 Alice Well, money changes everything, this is a good example of that. 1 stars
4/15/03 Jack Bourbon Nice collection of amateur tits and ass for this one. I really dug the chunky one. 5 stars
3/04/03 Jack Sommersby Ambitious but flat-out terrible. 1 stars
1/26/03 sam fisher it fucking rules because it has naked people in it! 5 stars
12/27/02 Charles Tatum What a dumb idea 1 stars
9/25/02 Laurian Diaconescu It made no sense. (If you wannna se my REAL rating, read this backwards! Just kidding.) 3 stars
7/29/02 Jon At least it was watchable (read: steady camera) 2 stars
7/25/02 palaboy101 much better than the first movie 4 stars
7/08/02 Croweater What the fuck...? This really, REALLY, sucked 1 stars
5/19/02 john waite i shit my pants..when i realised i payed money to go see this 1 stars
4/17/02 Veronica Foxx (The Raven-Haired Temptress) Wow! I've never seen a sequel fall SOOOOO far in quality from the first. 1 stars
3/31/02 Film Guy one little Fucked up movie 1 stars
3/07/02 Dave MacDougall How do you know if you have a low IQ? You like this more than the original. 1 stars
3/06/02 Brittany James Flawed by ambiguity: Do witches hafta eat, shit, and die or eat shit- and die? 3 stars
2/23/02 Jenny Tullwartz Best redeeming feature -- It's NOTHING like the original! 3 stars
1/24/02 Andrew Carden It Took The Spooky Story, Added Teen Sex and Violence, and Got This Tired Movie. 2 stars
1/23/02 chris www.midfirecords.com id have left if my girlfriend didnt make me stay 1 stars
12/05/01 john linton roberson A Wiccan is shocked that she'd dance naked in the woods. That's all you need to hear. 1 stars
10/30/01 officer412/l YOU WILL SHIT YOUR PANTS BUT FOR DIFFERENT REASONS. 1 stars
10/16/01 Mr. Hat (formerly Joe Zappa) Starts off pretty good, but it ends up making NO SENSE AT ALL! 2 stars
10/01/01 sarah hey i thought it was pretty cool 4 stars
9/09/01 Jason The freakiest stuff I've ever seen. 5 stars
8/22/01 Erica I personally didn't like the first movie, but I have to say this one had potential! 5 stars
6/12/01 Crisis Management Jesus, again... Chef ADogg, you must be a fucking retard, seriously. 1 stars
6/02/01 Mephisto Worth watching for the goddesses Erica and Kim! 2 stars
5/25/01 The Moorhen S U C K S - Say it with me boys and girls.... S U C K S 1 stars
5/17/01 Jack McBee It was fucking scary. I never wanna go to a haunted house again. 5 stars
5/08/01 Rodney Muterspaw would have been better if it wasnt the Blair Witch sequel 4 stars
4/13/01 LiL This movie was a pointless piece of shit 1 stars
4/10/01 Gary This is probably the worst and most dumb sequel ever. Not even remotely scary! 1 stars
3/27/01 Jesse L It had a few moments near the end but they were not worth it 2 stars
3/19/01 Kilroy It's not what you think it is. It's a Psychological Thriller. Excellent. See it and decide. 4 stars
3/04/01 Rico Suavea I LOVE THIS MOVIE 5 stars
3/02/01 Kook Cheap exploitation of gullible consumers. 1 stars
2/28/01 lost mind the only good part is at the end when I guy said ''Thats wong'' SOME BODY F*CKED WITH THIS 4 stars
2/24/01 Eric Leehsmine It was so much better than the first one 5 stars
2/12/01 Richard Wright An unusual horror film, scary in a different way . Panned by people with no brains. 3 stars
12/07/00 Stuntman laughably bad, makes PSI Factor look like Goosebumps 1 stars
11/25/00 frank c oooohhhh how scary@!! not!!!!!!!!!!! 1 stars
11/14/00 KyLe*BrOfLoVsKi Wasted 2 hours of my life on the first one and two more on this schlocky piece of shit. 1 stars
11/11/00 Bill Farquar Most horrible piece of shit ever made, complete waste of time and money! 1 stars
11/09/00 BW2SUCKS It's like a bad episode of the X-files 1 stars
11/08/00 Matthew Bartley Not as bad as I thought it would be although nowhere near as good as the first 4 stars
11/04/00 Dan Terrible, trashy shit. 1 stars
11/03/00 InfiL00p Was good until the last half an hour, then it just started sucking ass. 4 stars
11/02/00 JOHNNY rather take a dump then see this again... 1 stars
11/02/00 Losifer It really really sucked. The entire theater was laughing instead of shivering. Seriously. 1 stars
11/02/00 :93: I liked it, then again, I like horror movies 4 stars
11/01/00 Ground Zero Cliche, absurd, and unoriginal. Need we say more? 2 stars
10/31/00 Boy In The Designer Bubble Run my pretties, Run for the exits before its too late!!!! 1 stars
10/31/00 kim boyd BW1 Formula: Trapped in Woods, Relate to their deep fears, everyone dies. BW2 misses al 3 1 stars
10/30/00 Ytsejam It had to take a lot of work to make this suck as bad as it did. 1 stars
10/29/00 finalfight this is not a real movie... it's a horror movie. Don't expect academy awards achievements 4 stars
10/28/00 bullit17 A "horror" movie with no horror and very little suspense. Very disappointing. 2 stars
10/28/00 Jeff D OK, illogical script, petulant acting. But the concept of perception vs. reality is trippy 4 stars
10/27/00 AM Radio The Hair Clit Project...this movie blows. 1 stars
IF YOU'VE SEEN THIS FILM, RATE IT!
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USA
  27-Oct-2000 (R)
  DVD: 13-Jan-2001

UK
  N/A

Australia
  11-Jan-2001 (M)




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