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Overall Rating

Awesome: 15.12%
Worth A Look: 10.47%
Average: 6.98%
Pretty Bad33.72%
Total Crap33.72%

4 reviews, 62 user ratings

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Wedding Planner, The
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by EricDSnider

"It's a contest to see how much you can roll your eyes in a 2-hour period."
2 stars

This is a very dishonest romantic comedy, though I can' t imagine that matters to the doe-eyed young ladies who will watch anything that features a cute leading man and a plot in which two star-crossed lovers get together.

Perhaps I was just in a bad mood. Or maybe I had been forced into that mood by the bland lameness that had already permeated "The Wedding Planner." But there was a point in this film when I actually began talking to the screen, which I never do. (The theater was nearly empty, by the way, so don't worry about my bothering other patrons.)

It was at the point when the title character, the cute but unlucky-at-love Mary (Jennifer Lopez), was visiting a possible site for an upcoming wedding with the bride- and groom-to-be. She already fell in love with the groom, you see; once she found out he was engaged (and a client!), she got real pouty and spiteful.

As fate would have it, the ridiculous Italian stereotype that her aging father has convinced to marry her shows up on the scene, announcing that Mary is his fiancee (even though Mary very clearly told him "no" ages ago). The groom-to-be whom Mary has the hots for is quite interested to know this, of course, since he got a stern talking-to from her when she found out HE was engaged. Quite a hypocrite, this Mary! Quite a temtress and a harlot indeed! And imagine the wackiness that will ensue when the man Mary is in love with thinks she's engaged when really she's not! Everyone will start treating the Italian guy like her fiance! Such comedy!

This is where I started talking to the movie. "Just say, 'We're not engaged,'" I said in a low voice. Instead, all the characters kept talking about how happy they were for Mary and Italian Guy. Mary kept opening her mouth to speak but getting interrupted. "Just say, 'We're not engaged,'" I said, a little louder. I couldn't believe the movie was actually going to hinge a major plot point on something as stupid as Mary's unwillingness to make her voice heard. And yet, that's exactly what happened.

And that, my friends, is symptomatic of why "The Wedding Planner" is a pathetic movie. It's a realistic movie in the sense that there are no fantasy elements, no fairy godmothers, no exposions and no aliens. It's meant to be grounded in reality -- which is why romantic comedies are generally successful, because the women in the audience can think, "This could happen to ME!," and the men in the audience can think, "Hey, maybe I could score with Jennifer Lopez!"

Yet, "The Wedding Planner" relies almost entirely on improbable (and even impossible) events and circumstances to propel its weak, simpering little plot. Mary's failure to say "We're not engaged" is just one example. In another scene, while everyone's horseback-riding, Mary's horse is spooked and the groom-to-be, Eddie (Matthew McConaughey), has to ride to her rescue. Quite a romantic notion indeed. But what spooked her horse? The bride-to-be's mother's horrific singing voice.

This is a romantic comedy in a broad farce's clothing, and it doesn't fit worth a darn. Lovesick Italians and potential arranged marriages CAN be funny, and so can a woman who wants to sabotage a wedding so she can have the groom to herself. (We know that's funny because we already saw it in "My Best Friend's Wedding.") But they're not funny here, where there's no acknowledgment that not a bit of it is original, and everything is played as if the movie is the cleverest thing in the world for thinking of this stuff.

Lopez and McConaughey are charming, as they tend to be. Lopez is not the least bit adept at doing comedy -- but, then, this is hardly a comedy anyway. See it with a date and hope you get some action afterward. Other than that, there's no reason to see it at all.

The most interesting thing about it is how they avoid showing too much of Jennifer Lopez's gargantuan rear end.

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originally posted: 02/05/01 15:36:21
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User Comments

2/16/17 Louise AWFUL 'ACTORS', AWFUL FILM! 1 stars
1/05/11 anon I couldn't even make it to the end. This was really horrible, and I normally love romcoms. 1 stars
1/14/09 Anonymous. it was ok...clicke, but not horrible. 3 stars
3/02/08 billy she has a big juicy fat ass in this movie wish she would have got it doggy style face down 5 stars
3/02/08 billy she has a big juicy fat ass in this movie wish she would have got it doggy style face down 5 stars
9/01/05 ES Lopez does for movies what Jaws does for a lazy afternoon at the beach 1 stars
4/27/05 Sully even JLO killer ass can't save this horrible movie...absolute rubbish 1 stars
9/20/04 angel I think Jennifer Lopez was absolutely adorable in this move! 4 stars
6/04/04 Daveman Harmless, light as bubbles rom com that won't offend anybody whatsoever. 2 stars
9/09/03 francis unbelievable plot, coupled with a mumbling leading man, and overall lacklustre acting 2 stars
8/09/03 jackie yu It was really cute except the part where she had to break the other guys heart 4 stars
6/26/03 bobo Read my lips- JLO is an untalented spick whos sucked the right cock. end of story. 1 stars
4/19/03 Ubu the Ripper This was such a painful experience. After this J-Lo should be limited to MTV only. GAG! 1 stars
4/09/03 Shadaan Felfeli Fulfils the bare essentials of a bearable flick 3 stars
3/19/03 Sophia It was a predictable but good movie 3 stars
2/20/03 Pat Making J-Lo's big ass come to life with two circles pasted on it, would be more entertainin 1 stars
12/31/02 Tam Light, cutesy romance. Loved the joke about the "I Love You" song. 4 stars
10/27/02 Matt Neopalitano The size of Jennifer Lopez's ego is exceeded only by the size of her ass in this movie. 2 stars
7/24/02 3j good movie 5 stars
7/06/02 Danielle Ophelia (L'Originale) Like a time warp made of horseshit. Every bit as smelly and farfetched. 1 stars
7/01/02 Jay This movie truly does suck all ass. 1 stars
5/28/02 hilary awesome 5 stars
4/30/02 Cindy Means Jennifer, PLEASE make more like this instead of harpy poop like ANGEL EYES and ENOUGH! 5 stars
2/01/02 Butterbean Surprisingly bad! I was expecting it to be as charming as My Best Friends Wedding 2 stars
11/26/01 Tam Just another romantic comedy, nothing special. Lopez adds charisma though. 3 stars
10/14/01 Dan Chick flick yes, but.... it was still a good movie. 4 stars
10/07/01 Tinkerbell This movie is awesome. Very light and romantic. It's worth seeing and owning. 5 stars
10/02/01 Kirk It was okay. I hated Jennifer Lopez. . . but the rest of it was fine. 4 stars
10/02/01 hilary awesome 5 stars
8/17/01 hilary awesome 5 stars
7/24/01 Monday Morning The best romantic comedy since "Cabin Boy". 2 stars
7/10/01 J I went through it just fine. This movie is a lot better than it looks actually. 4 stars
7/03/01 TLsmooth The shit my penis makes me watch to get some poon-tang is embarrasing. 1 stars
4/15/01 Cher Excellent, loved seeing my mate Jennifer on screen! 5 stars
4/12/01 Jess McConaughey was soooooooooooooooooo cute. it was great! 5 stars
4/11/01 Mikeal Yor "The Wedding Dissapointment",?!?!?! What a stupid headline!!! 1 stars
4/10/01 muneer78 Absolute garbage. There is no chemistry between the lead actors. 1 stars
4/04/01 Kathryn Engemlann I thought it was a wonderful Movie 5 stars
3/09/01 julie cameron suck me! 1 stars
3/09/01 Dave This movie was made for 12-17 year old girls and the boys who endure this crap to get laid 2 stars
3/06/01 cokk and ballz i fukked jenifer lopez nice nice pussy jucy as hell and tight but the movie sukked 1 stars
3/04/01 Spankachu not one of the worst i've seen, but no where near the best 2 stars
2/24/01 Tara I Loved it!! It was AWESOME!! 5 stars
2/16/01 Joseph Roseberg Nothing memorable. The ending is completely implausible. 3 stars
2/12/01 gloria one of the worst movies i have seen. 2 stars
2/12/01 john d(THE DUDE) J-LO needs to get a tit job then do porn 1 stars
2/10/01 KyLe*BrOfLoVsKi And people wonder why I hate most chick flicks... 2 stars
2/07/01 Boy In The Designer Bubble I thought I was paying to see THE WEDDING SINGER 1 stars
2/06/01 Philm Phreak An old fashioned romantic comedy. There's a reason they don't make them anymore. 2 stars
2/06/01 Brian Barf..... 1 stars
2/05/01 jon j cute and fluffy, like a kitty cat 4 stars
2/05/01 Ddawg This was a forgettable piece of fluff, but quite entertaining and a good escape. 3 stars
2/04/01 Kevin "J-Lo" sucks ass. Her acting is almost as bad as her singing. 1 stars
1/30/01 Joe JL is famous becuz of a dress. HEL-LO & MM is a putz. 1 stars
1/29/01 Rob Jenifer Lopez sucks at everything, her ass is a better actress 1 stars
1/29/01 Stuntman not even a matinee can save this dud 2 stars
1/29/01 Nic Classic love story! 4 stars
1/28/01 R Kramer Lopez is cute but the dialogue is embarrassing! 1 stars
1/28/01 Not a bimbo Cheating hearts/Empty Souls "A Story WorthTelling"? NOT! 1 stars
1/27/01 Jacob Jones "A skipterifical movie but the wrong cast!" 4 stars
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  26-Jan-2001 (PG-13)


  29-Mar-2001 (M)

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