Who didn't see that comparison coming a mile away. Hollywood doesn't care and neither do we. You can't make the same movie twice and our unending desire for novelty compels us to watch the same thing rehashed a thousand different ways. That's our punishment for not going out and causing some of our own international intrigue.Brendan Fraser is every homo's wet dream. Too bad he had to go and ruin it all by making Gods and Monsters. Now we can't confuse Brendan the actor with any character that he plays because he tricked us. He wrote the story into film so that makes it real! Now we know without a doubt that he's straight and as much he's cool with that, its a little freaky to be hit on all the time by members of the same gender who just don't know when being friendly is not an invitation to butt rape. Brad Pitt should be taking lessons from Brendan. See, that's how you talk to us, you put the shit in your movies because we don't know the difference between what's real and what's a show. Yes, that does pretty much screw up the whole "I'm an actor" thing, but as my new friend Condor told me the other night on Castro Street as he was reading my Tarot, "There is a price for everything". Welcome to fame. Now give me some!
So who cares what this movie is about. It could be about a hamster farmer in Iowa running away from his duct-taped past for all anyone cares. It has the Rock in it, in what has to be the greatest play by the entertainment brokers. Not only does he have barely a line, but he only shows up as a person in one scene. When he comes back, he's computer generated. It's so lifelike! If you don't know already. It's about a Mummy. And he returns. Because he is "different", he must destroyed because different is bad. Nobody likes the Mummy because the Mummy wants to tyrannize over the human world with his skeleton warriors. That's great news for the skeleton warriors. They are just trying to make sense out of this crazy mixed up world. They didn't choose to be born into a war and instead of treating them like the victims they are, we cheer when they are brutally murdered. What kind of a sick race of people are we?
I dig the chick on chick fight scenes. The Mummy Returns manages to have an action hero AND heroine. Co-heroes for the new world. Visual note: The aristocratic bohemian manor that Evelyn (Rachel Weisz) and Rick (Brendan Fraser) live in is a charming fantasy. It did feel a little bit like a period piece. A little bit of an invented post WWI England and a little bit of invented Egypt. Both of which are heaps more interesting than the real thing.Big budget sets tweaked this done to death movie just enough to make it an entirely different spectacle. The movie totally sucked but lots of movies do. Imaginative sets, bold characters and some kick ass special effects make this yet another painless way to drone away a couple hours of your life.