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Overall Rating
2.57

Awesome: 16.44%
Worth A Look: 15.07%
Average: 8.22%
Pretty Bad: 29.45%
Total Crap30.82%

6 reviews, 110 user ratings


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Queen of the Damned
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by the Grinch

"Now I know the tortures of the damned..."
2 stars

Anytime you attempt to film an adaptation of a book by the gloriously overrated Anne Rice, you're going to run into problems. Try to make 2 Anne Rice books into 1 film, and you're just asking for more of an ass-kicking than grown men who wear their baseball caps backwards.

What kinds of punishment-gluttons must Warner Bros be? Besides the fact that the original Interview with the Vampire wasn't all that great, besides the fact that the Queen screenplay is a dog, you've got to contend with Rice who will take out frontpage ads denouncing the film before anyone even BUYS THE SCREEN RIGHTS.

Not only do you have the screenwriters trying to jam together two novels that make Stephen King's longest tomes appear blunt and succint, but you then hire the wretchedly untalented Jonathan Davis from Korn to whine and stutter over the soundtrack, all while trying to fit everything into an hour and thirty minutes so that you don't lose your target MTV audience.
Pretty much the only way they could've pulled this movie off with the music being as much a part of it as it is would've been for them to play it as a campy Rock-Opera with memorable songs, but with the hiring of Kaka Korn's lead singer, and Chaka Khan's keyboardist for the soundtrack, those hopes went out the window like a Kennedy fleeing an irate husband. Can you say MISSED OPPORTUNITY boys and girls? I knew that yew could.

I won't bore you with the plot, it wouldn't make sense anyways. The Vampire Lestat emerges from a huge plot-hole in New Orleans, decides he likes shitty garage bands, instantly becomes a rock star somehow circumventing the REAL vampires in the music industry, and pisses off all the vampires who would like to keep a low profile amongst their mortal prey. So how do these vampires keep a low-profile? Why, they go around dressed like Moroccan hairdressers and foppish buffoons, and by showing up at Lestat's concert in big black cloaks, because everyone knows when you don't want to draw attention to yourself, you don a black-mass robe with everything but the blood of a freshly slain newborn on it. Retarded, and not even in a fun way.

Although the movie is only around 101 minutes long, it feels like an eternity...truly I know the horror of the eternally damned. Segments are repeated, just in case you missed things the first time around...footage is looped, things just inexplicably happen, half the time you don't even know where the characters are really, and they don't seem to know or care either. Aaliyah is truly horrible, and I don't really care if I'm taking a dump on her grave here, but her peformance had me pissing myself with laughter. The name Aaliyah itself is like an onomonopeia of the sound emanating from my mouth as I had to endure her Walk-Like-An-Egyptian strutting....Aaaaallliiiiyahhhhh! Her accent was all over the place, slipping from ghetto-fabulous into Bantu while occasionally falling into a drunken Zsa Zsa Gabor. Townsend doesn't fare much better, ranging from Steve Martin's french accent to Father Guido Sarducci. These two switch accents more than Robin Williams in an E.T. interview. The only actors of any note are veteran B-movie star Vincent Perez, Lena Olin, and Margueritte Moreau, who makes the best of a forgettable character. Farscaper Claudia Black can be spotted for about all of 1 minute in the movie, but I'm sure she just needed a paycheck, so I'll forgive her.

The direction and editing is competent enough, but the way excessive use of over-exposure everytime a Vampire decided to book-it really grated on my nerves like an episode of American Juniors...I started to believe that maybe someone had dusted my jujube's with something. Combine this with excessive, weak CGI effects along with almost zero notable gore, and you have a truly boring, bland movie. A testament to Rice's work perhaps, but I think even that is being a bit harsh. According to the MPAA rating, Queen of the Damned is reted R for "Vampire Violence". Oh, the HORROR! Because you sure don't go to a vampire movie expecting to see any violence against humans, right?

If you want to see a bad but highly enjoyable low-budget Vampire flick, go rent Near Dark. Queen of the Damned just sucks hemmorhoid blood.

link directly to this review at http://www.efilmcritic.com/review.php?movie=4636&reviewer=156
originally posted: 07/12/03 11:48:27
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User Comments

11/23/10 PAUL SHORTT AMUSING BUT FEEBLE AND SILLY 2 stars
10/12/10 gfdggdfg CfIiHo pepyaka 5 stars
2/28/10 art A GREAT FABLE!,IT WAS SAD that AAYIAH DIED before it's release! 3 stars
11/29/09 slushie that movie sucked ass. 1 stars
12/01/08 Kimmy Not even close to being true to Anne Rice's books. A disappointment! 1 stars
6/26/08 flora the guy (sven) who said its better than Interview with the Vampire needs a kick to the face 1 stars
5/26/08 Roz Movie sucked. Cast sucked (pardon the pun). Soundtrack was great. 2 stars
2/02/08 thomas donaldson great movie...not overblown or hokey and true to annies book series.. a must see 5 stars
1/22/08 ur romeo thz movie iz da shyte best vMPIRE MOVIE EVR 5 stars
5/16/07 fools♫gold Honestly, spend time on "About Adam" (same actor) instead. 1 stars
1/15/07 del Absolute garbage. 1 stars
11/26/06 manu even more shitty than the book is.watching this movie is a horrible way to waste your time. 1 stars
11/08/06 Ayla__Rawr crap movie, good book. They twisted the story into another.LAME! 2 stars
1/26/06 sweetgrrl1972 Embarrassingly bad adaptation of the book. 1 stars
12/10/05 cody sexy vampire movie with good perfomance by Aayiah, l miss her! 3 stars
8/19/05 Indrid Cold Beautiful atmosphere I suppose, but really really boring. 2 stars
8/16/05 ES People who raved about being JM thought this movie was 'dull and wierd= ya right guys 4 stars
8/09/05 tatum Good cast, second rate execution 3 stars
7/09/05 Moctezuma It's all right. It does have a fucking kick-ass soundtrack, though 3 stars
6/22/05 sasah bote good 5 stars
1/17/05 Feliciano this movie blasts away interview with the vampire 5 stars
1/08/05 Ryan Dortmans Worst... movie... ever... 1 stars
10/24/04 sven Much better then the interview with the vampire. And it's greath that's Modern 5 stars
7/12/04 TLN Like it alot...a vampire 'chick flick' Loved Townsend 4 stars
6/14/04 valerie hart brill very classy with fantastic music sexy and slick stu is hot! a GREAT MODERN VAMP FLICK 5 stars
6/12/04 Daveman Much more fun and imaginative than the first film. 3 stars
4/11/04 valerie hart i thought it was a fantasic film with great music and with class and style. 5 stars
2/11/04 Jingo P. Proof that horror movies, even those based on such great books, are utterly failing. 2 stars
1/19/04 Gopher Avenger Vampires. Blood. Sex appeal. DAMN good music. Based after a good set of books. Thunbs up. 5 stars
11/25/03 Thiago "Queen" is fun. Stuart, Aaliyah and Vincent are inspired. Check it out. 4 stars
11/14/03 unkown its brill im watching it again 5 stars
11/01/03 I Would Takes the worst book of the series and manages to be better than IWTV 2 stars
9/05/03 Juanita This makes a mockery of a sham of the books-but Townsend is HOT! 1 stars
8/24/03 Jen I have read the book, and I had no idea a book could be so butured in it's portrayal. 1 stars
7/24/03 Kit It was nothing like the two books. In fact, it ruined the actual book for me..-.-; 1 stars
7/16/03 Asiana125 when i 1st saw tha movie i wasnt impressed but as i saw it more 4 stars
7/15/03 Alida Louis+Daniel didn't appear... and can't believe they cut off the Lestat x Louis scenes! 2 stars
7/11/03 Eloise satisfactory.....there's alot worse vamp flicks out there 4 stars
7/02/03 Vicious This film is why i hate goths and vampires (one reason anyways) 1 stars
4/13/03 Jon I really wanted to like this movie. Too bad it failed in so many ways. 2 stars
3/18/03 Goofy Maxwell Damn it all to hell! I watched this godforsaken mess 4 aaliyahs last 15 min? Sadly it sucks 1 stars
3/13/03 The Talking Elbow This movie didn't suck, it was entertaining, and better then most vamp. movies. 5 stars
3/06/03 Dina Smith Hee hee. I love vampires. Stuart Townsend. I'm drooling. 4 stars
3/04/03 Jack Sommersby Colorful and interesting, but just too dmn stiff and overly mannered. 2 stars
11/05/02 Vicious vamp/goth faggotry. I hate this film and anyone who likes it with all my heart. 1 stars
10/28/02 Zargo it's entertaining enough. sad about aliyah's death 4 stars
9/25/02 Julianie Ferguson great performance by aaliyah, but they should have sticked to the story from the book 2 stars
9/09/02 othree learning Lestats history was interesting, the rest sucked omg ass, Aaliyah was beautiful 2 stars
6/12/02 Eloise nice looking man redeemed whole film, YEY! 5 stars
5/28/02 angel fucking great, lestat is gorgous 5 stars
5/19/02 Chowie pretty shit, aaliyah was only in it for like 20 mins!! 1 stars
5/19/02 Carmen This movie was ok. Aaliyah's walk was da' bomb! 3 stars
5/13/02 Cleo now why oh why was she walking as if she had just dislocated both her shoulders 3 stars
5/13/02 Me Me Didn't anyone check out the way that alliyah walked. 2 stars
4/27/02 Jessica EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! Sucks Ass! 1 stars
4/23/02 D I like Vampire shit anyways, but it kicked ass, it had awesome effects. 5 stars
4/23/02 Natalie Brilliant movie i luved it it rules 5 stars
4/22/02 Danielle I loved Stuart Townshend's portrayal of Lestat. The book is different than the movie though 4 stars
4/21/02 Asia The movie sucked in a BAD way.none of the charectors are deplicted correct......... 1 stars
4/21/02 Mickey What????? 2 stars
4/21/02 sim the fiilm is soo fucking good u got to see it 5 stars
4/20/02 Chris up on the hill Wonderfully filmed, amazing effects,fast-paced. 5 stars
4/19/02 jean paul remember that feeling you got when you watch matrix 5 stars
4/17/02 beamie so so, could have been better, but was a good movie. 4 stars
4/15/02 Steph It was good - for an adaptation, the soundtrack kicks ass and Stuart was good as Lestat 4 stars
4/15/02 Kris Best Vampire movie Ive seen, cant wait for it to come out to buy. 5 stars
4/14/02 Lewis The score rules, and it feels as though you are in a WW Masquarade game. 5 stars
4/14/02 Nathan Wolfenden SO TOTALLY F@#KED!!! Return it to the can and forget it ever existed. Worst film ever! 1 stars
4/13/02 Arisa What a ridiculous and crappy group of vampires.No depth, no story.Aaliyah is great though. 2 stars
4/12/02 Karen Lytollis a bit more than average-Im a big fan 4 stars
4/11/02 Akasha I was in the Cinema yesterday. And I like this film very much! I've read the book, too. 5 stars
4/10/02 Jo Don't know about Lestat but Marius was one hell of a sexy beast. 4 stars
4/10/02 kristen green queen of the damned was great and I liked the music I could not stop bouncing my head. 5 stars
4/06/02 Marlee Pappas I luv Buffy but Rymer puts a BIG! eww on vampires. 2 stars
3/30/02 troika More like "King of the Bombs". 1 stars
3/24/02 phantom honestly the worst piece of shit in years 1 stars
3/17/02 J. Lyons Okay movie, but Aaliyah's part didn't impress me much. 3 stars
3/17/02 Rampage One word: BOOOOOOORIIIIIIIING 1 stars
3/12/02 Veronica Foxx aka The Raven-Haired Temptress Too bad Aaliyah didn't have a better movie as some her final work. This was rather poor. 1 stars
3/11/02 Rgtp Crap, Crap, and worse than Crap 1 stars
3/11/02 Alex i have never liked aailya her death ddint make me like her any more and this movie didnt 1 stars
3/10/02 Cat I liked that movie! then again Lestat was damn sexy...and hey it was aaliyah's last movie 4 stars
3/06/02 Jamesiegod What do you expect? I liked it, so slap me! 4 stars
3/05/02 gromm If you liked the book, don't bother seeing this. Horrible acting, and the plot is way off. 2 stars
3/04/02 parkallan This made the top box office list because of stupid people like myself.... 1 stars
3/03/02 Napalousa Not as bad as it could be but sadly not as good as it could be either. 3 stars
3/01/02 Shaun Quismorio Filled with clichés and cheap special effects. No atmosphere whatsoever. 1 stars
2/28/02 Todd SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 1 stars
2/27/02 Melissa Daniel-Louis finds Lestat in the 1980's; he bites Louis' interviewer afterward.SW is right. 1 stars
2/27/02 daniel regarding what the review calls an inconsistency- louis was the interviewee, not lestat. 1 stars
2/27/02 Xalt Eh. Didn't get much reaction besides mild interest. 2 stars
2/26/02 Greyjack Wasn't totally awful, just pretty awful. Some nice atmosphere, I guess. Overall: bleah. 2 stars
2/26/02 Hank Graham Yes, it *WAS* that bad--worse than the book, which I hated 1 stars
2/26/02 Nyartholep Wasn't _that_ bad. Still, nothing special, and it has it's problems 3 stars
2/26/02 shelley smith What happened to the whole story about the twins? I won't forgive them for this film. 1 stars
2/26/02 KMG I would rather walk into Roger Ebert's fart, than watch Townsend "act" again. 1 stars
2/25/02 gdb Like most movies, would most likely have been worse if I read the book. But I didn't. 5 stars
2/25/02 John Timon did the screenplay writers read any of the books? 1 stars
2/25/02 Andrew Carden Boring and Lame Vampire Flick. Many Corny Lines and Many Confusing Subplots. 1 stars
2/25/02 Bendrix Betrayed Lestat's character- God awful film 1 stars
2/25/02 silver raven do yourself a favor and read the books. the movie is just an excuse for a good soundtrack. 1 stars
2/25/02 Kiakim wonderful! 5 stars
2/24/02 lizzietizzie It was decent... a bad combo of the books... but good for entertainment... 3 stars
2/24/02 asdfk; So harsh, the criticisms. Yet it was entertaining. 3 stars
2/23/02 Rogue despite Aaliyah, the movie wasnt all bad...neat effects 4 stars
2/23/02 Madolan Ivy Sorry-- liked it. Sexy vamps, great sets, decent actors-- but needed more vamp backstory. 4 stars
2/23/02 Jesus Christ I condemn Aaliyah. 1 stars
2/23/02 Heather Love the Books, BUT They MAKE AWFUL movies 1 stars
2/23/02 Jimmy James oh. my. god. 1 stars
2/22/02 Cheryl This isn't a movie, this is a music video. 100% cheese! 2 stars
IF YOU'VE SEEN THIS FILM, RATE IT!
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USA
  22-Feb-2002 (R)

UK
  N/A

Australia
  04-Apr-2002




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