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Overall Rating
1.78

Awesome: 9.59%
Worth A Look: 4.11%
Average: 10.96%
Pretty Bad: 5.48%
Total Crap69.86%

4 reviews, 49 user ratings


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Black Knight
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by Scott Weinberg

"Movies like this give cookie-cutters a bad name."
1 stars

When a movie is so unremittengly unoriginal and formulaic as the latest Martin Lawrence vehicle is, reviewers will often refer to them as 'cookie-cutter' movies. But I OWN some cookie-cutters. They're quite useful. The only thing Black Knight is good for is perhaps insect extermination. You could play this movie on an 8-hour loop and when you get back home, everything in your house will be dead.

Bashing this movie is like Mike Tyson boxing Haley Joel Osment. Aside from severely devoted Martin Lawrence fans, I'd be hard pressed to find anyone who should see this movie. The plot is as bland and limp as a loaf of bread submerged in salt water. The performances are uniformly uninteresting. The production design reminds one of the Renaissance Fair that frequents the other side of the tracks. The jokes are simply not funny.

Through the miracle of completely unexplained plot devices, Jamal (Martin "Wuzzup" Lawrence) is thrown back in time. When he arrives at a massive castle, he logically assumes that it's an amusement park and he then sets off to piss off and annoy every human person he encounters. When Marty's not knocking things over and looking at large horse penises, he's shucking and jiving in a grossly cliched manner, as if we would forget that he's a black man.

Of course Jamal becomes a local hero through his moronic escapades. Of course Jamal beds a few wenches before humiliating them for some cheap gags. Of course Jamal thwarts a pompous adversary, saves the day and does some moonwalking to the delight of the great unwashed. The art of original screenwriting weeps audibly as this thunderously unfunny affair lurches forward.

Nobody survivies this non-movie intact. As the only black female around in the Dark Ages, an actress named Marsha Thomason wanders about looking comely and acting blandly. Tom Wilkinson bumbles about as the world's most rotund action hero, and Kevin Conway plays the role of King Leo as if he were on cocaine-laced sedatives.

Sorry to be so brief, but reviewing this movie is akin to describing a tin can. There's only so much analysis and description I can give to a vaccum like Black Knight. If you've seen the trailers, you've seen the movie. One's a lot longer than the other.

In the interest of total disclosure, I will admit that I laughed once during this movie. It was when Jamal took a look at a medieval toilet and said "Eww! There's doody!!" Don't necessarily consider that an endorsement; I laugh whenever ANYONE says "doody".

link directly to this review at http://www.efilmcritic.com/review.php?movie=4638&reviewer=128
originally posted: 12/02/01 15:11:35
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User Comments

4/18/07 Stevo UK look on the bright side.... laurence's carreer is almost over due to films like this. 1 stars
5/16/06 bmac who the hell is #23 5 stars
3/24/05 Alice Colwell total crap 1 stars
10/30/04 clint lewallen i liked black knight because i was there working on the the film 5 stars
9/21/04 Naka Nope! 1 stars
6/23/04 Freeman Funny when you are really bored ! 3 stars
5/05/04 yup i wasnt feelin the thunderbolts 5 stars
5/02/04 DM What the fuck were they thinking? Oh wait, they didn't. 1 stars
4/14/04 beem i kno it was weak as hell but i kinda liked it. i watch it over and over 5 stars
3/09/04 heather it sucked 1 stars
10/01/03 Samuel Justus Nowhere as good as Advertised! 3 stars
9/04/03 Gray this movie should be watched for the same reason we watch plan 9 from outer space 1 stars
8/29/03 Double G funny in some moments but mainly stupid 2 stars
5/21/03 Cardia It is good 1 stars
4/08/03 seminoles fan Martin is funny!! He can make movies & a great sitcom. Don't be fooled by 1 or 2 bad movies 4 stars
3/26/03 Ama Wilonson I TSUCKS 1 stars
2/21/03 Evil Bob All copies of this heathen shit should be burned, then beat yourself with a club for fun 1 stars
11/29/02 Goofy Maxwell Beware, this Medieval mayhem may brain thee (side effects may include idiotic laughter). 1 stars
8/17/02 Andrew Patrick This Is Absolute Crap,this is not the best comedy,THIS MOVIE SUCKS!!!!!!!!!! 1 stars
7/29/02 Croweater This film ought to be taken to the Nevada Desert and buried in a very deep dark hole. 1 stars
5/25/02 darkjosh@hotmail.com Someone poke my eyes out with a corkscrew 1 stars
2/26/02 Butterbean Martin got the Cosby disease: Makes a great sitcom, but make shitty moviess 2 stars
2/06/02 April This movie licks Jeremy's asshole. It's that awful. 1 stars
1/01/02 nin Oscar. "Nuff said. 5 stars
1/01/02 Roy Smith Laziest film I've seen at year, Stephen Fetchit lives! 2 stars
12/21/01 Caiphn Could someone please shoot Jeremy in the head? 1 stars
12/21/01 captain chris why do you mock me? why do people pay martin lawrence to make movies? 1 stars
12/17/01 AK47 Strap Martin to a Tomahawk missile and send him to Tora Bora. Osama will beg to be shot. 1 stars
12/17/01 John Revolta I lovingly dedicate this rating of "Sucks All Ass" to Jeremy, Mudillia, and Pauline Kael. 1 stars
12/15/01 Mudillia Abuquaribi 2 things....You guys are all cum gargling faggots and two, Martin Lawrence is DA BOMB!! 4 stars
12/14/01 Melissa in NYC AND THE RASBERRY AWARD GOES TO!!! 1 stars
12/12/01 Captain Highcrime Time for Martin Lawrence to go jogging out in 95-degree heat again. 1 stars
12/04/01 DMF A few pretenses, but mostly slightly twisted fun. 4 stars
12/02/01 wagnaard I didnt need to see this abomination to know it sucked! 1 stars
12/01/01 Mr Math Just awful. The theater was silent throughout. Four people in front of me walked out. 1 stars
12/01/01 The Boy In The Designer Bubble Mommy, if I eat all my veggies, will you make that evil man stop making movies? PLEASE!!!! 1 stars
11/30/01 Banky Edwards Crap rating on principle alone... commercial was so lame I'm afraid of the movie! 1 stars
11/30/01 TimmyTomorrow Best movie about medieval times since medieval times. Worth the $9.00!!! 5 stars
11/30/01 Omniscient Genius 5 Black Holes. Two thumbs up ASS. Yech. 1 stars
11/28/01 Andrew It is not that bad, but it still -----------------------> 1 stars
11/28/01 Alex May I please have the money before you waste it on a film like this next time? 1 stars
11/27/01 JustAnotherMan stupid ass storyline; it not only sucks ass, it licks the ass crack 1 stars
11/26/01 Priscilla Mack see better 2 stars
11/26/01 Loopenark Should be treated as a crime scene or toxic waste dump site. 1 stars
11/25/01 Boomshanka Damn! That was one bad movie! At least it'll put an overdue cap in Lawrence's movie career. 1 stars
11/24/01 special K The commercials alone make me angry 1 stars
11/23/01 Boy In The Designer Bubble Step'N Fetchit would be proud!!! 1 stars
11/22/01 ender this movie gets a shitty rating on principle. 1 stars
11/22/01 steve goldenbaum Martin Lawrence, comic genius. 5 stars
IF YOU'VE SEEN THIS FILM, RATE IT!
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USA
  21-Nov-2001 (PG-13)

UK
  N/A

Australia
  04-Apr-2002




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