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Overall Rating
2.33

Awesome: 15.54%
Worth A Look: 11.49%
Average: 11.49%
Pretty Bad: 13.51%
Total Crap47.97%

6 reviews, 112 user ratings


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Scooby-Doo
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by Scott Weinberg

"Another contemptible piece of dreck from the Eternal Marketing Machine."
1 stars

Sigh. Here we go again. Well-remembered cartoon gets the big-budget silver screen treatment. Not because the source material screams for a revisit, but because rehashing a name product is infinitely more profitable than creating something new. I'm not saying that Scooby-Doo couldn't have been a good time; I'm saying that the movie these hacks came up with isn't fit to line the litter box of an obese and diahrretic feline. Then again, this pile of flop made 100 million bucks in less than two weeks, so obviously I'm the one who's insane.

When reviewing an 'adaptation' movie, it's best to divulge your knowledge of/interest in the source material. To that end, I'll simply mention that I've always disliked Scooby-Doo. Even as a hyperactive and sensation-addicted child, I knew my time was better spent with Bugs & Daffy, Fred & Barney, Popeye & Bluto, or even Tom & Jerry than yet another carbon-copy Scooby adventure.

When word first got out that WB was planning a big-screen version, I ingested the news with equal parts revulsion and mystical wonder; how in the name of all things not retarded, I wondered, could they turn such a one-dimensional cartoon into a film worthy of my eight bucks. I needn't have racked my brain, becasue - simply put - this movie isn't worth your 50 cents. When cineplexes start accepting postage stamps in exchange for movie tickets, a movie like Scooby-Doo may be worth seeing.

Then there was all the scuttlebutt about who was to be playing whom. When the husband-wife-sidekick team of Prinze/Gellar/Lillard were announced to play Fred, Daphne, and Shaggy...every portion of my body not vomiting immediately shut down from sheer cinematic shock. By the time interesting young actress Linda Cardellini was cast as Velma, I could barely bring myself to blink my eyes in response. Surely this was the stupidest idea in the eternal line of Stupid Hollywood Ideas.

Raja Gosnell was the director awarded the reins to this inevitable eyesore, most likely due to his depressingly profitable work on Martin Lawrence's migraine-inducing Big Momma's House. Gosnell hasn't directed enough movies to be awarded the New Worst Director of All-Time award (awarded bi-weekly), but based on what Scooby-Doo looks like, he's pretty damn close. Imagine the world's dingiest flea market surrounded by tiki torches, fake rocks, and neon carnival rides - Scooby-Doo looks worse than that.

The plot seems like something created in one of those "whisper down the lane" games: The famous Mystery Inc. gang, coming off their latest adventure...has an argument and decides to call it quits...um, then um, 2 years go by...and they're all invited to a haunted island theme park village place!...(pause)...and there's this brainwashing machine that turns all the teenagers into zombies...and...can we stop this game now? This story makes no goddam sense.

And yet that's what Scooby-Doo is about. But let's be honest here; the 'plot' of this film is nothing more than a clothesline on which dangle A) several pop songs to boost soundtrack sales, B) a half-dozen product placements that help defray the production costs by about 25%, C) a whole lot of garish sets, ugly costumes, ridiculously overbaked CGI effects, and D) a handful of performers who think they're actors, when the truth is that they're just some very expensive set markers used to gauge where the CGI should go.

If I seem as if I were gunning for this movie all along, well that's because I definitely have been. But I'm not a liar, and I will admit to two positive aspects: Matthew Lillard as Shaggy is the best thing in the film (for whatever that's worth), and I did laugh during one scene in which a computer-generated dog urinates angrily on Sarah Michelle Gellar's chest. It's stunning that a movie this bad could leave me with something nice to say about the generally infuriating Lillard, but his work here is tenuous proof that - when given an actual character to create - Lillard is willing to jump in with both feet. I've bashed him mercilessly in the past, but the guy gets a tentative pat on the back for his Shaggy bit. It may not be great acting, but it's an entertaining enough impersonation, and in a shitstorm like Scooby-Doo, one should find anything at all worthy of praise and cling to it like a lifejacket stuffed with money.

I'll lay off Gellar because she's given virtually nothing to do until the finale - in which she has a "Buffy joins Charlie's Angels" fight sequence that's as unexciting as it is silly. Cardellini also gets little of substance to do, although she's clearly the best actor of the four. (File THAT under the ultimate "damning of someone with faint praise"!) If there's one massive black hole of suckitude that the entire insipid affair gravitates around, it's the robotic Freddie Prinze Jr. as Fred. To be completely honest, I don't have the words to describe how consistently bad Prinze has been over the past few years. Suffice to say that his performance in Scooby-Doo did nothing to raise my opinion of this obviously talent-free cipher.

Which brings us to the title character. I just never got Scooby. He's a cowardly talking dog with a speech impediment who eats a lot. Hardly the stuff of classic fiction, but apparently the clueless canine struck a chord with a generation of kids too lazy to change the channel and watch Speed Racer instead. The movie version of Scooby, aside from looking very little like the animated incarnation, is a boggle-eyed bore. The CG effects of Scooby go from mildly effective to fairly atrocious at the drop of a hat, while every bit of the doofy dog's mumble-mouthed dialogue needs to be immediately repeated by the nearest available cast member. (Riss Rooree Rucks!)

Nothing I say will keep you away from Scooby-Doo if you really want to see it. Pre-packaged product like this comes with a guaranteed built-in audience, so those who may generally avoid the truly wretched movies will be duped into seeing it. Indeed, the sequel has already been green-lit. Like any other Hollywood cycle, these low-minded, money-grubbing "adaptations" will eventually dry up when moviegoers simply stop feeding the meter.

I'm absolutely certain that those who spearheaded this project were never once interested in making a "good movie". When a film is created SOLELY because it's a marketable product, soulless and ugly-looking movies like Scooby-Doo are the result. Let your silly childhood nostalgia slumber unmolested.

link directly to this review at http://www.efilmcritic.com/review.php?movie=4824&reviewer=128
originally posted: 06/25/02 19:38:14
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User Comments

7/30/14 jxidghufwix USA 3 stars
7/15/14 aqvjhte USA 5 stars
10/30/09 wow im high this movie is aweful when your high... why is scrappy doo evil?? i mean i hate em. 1 stars
10/20/09 Barker What happened to Velmas Breasts?!?! That was Sarah M Geller?!?!?! Horrible acting/script/pr 2 stars
8/13/09 Jeff Wilder Scooby Doo run run away from this awful movie! 1 stars
12/05/08 Shaun Wallner Hilarious Movie! 5 stars
10/15/08 PAUL SHORTT COMPLETE LACK OF ORIGINALITY, CLEVERNESS OR EVEN VISIBLE EFFORT 1 stars
9/11/07 Steph Loved It!!! Dudes don't be jealous that your not on tv 5 stars
6/18/07 ian strange I absolutely hated it. 1 stars
4/13/07 David Pollastrini Never was a big scooby fan 3 stars
2/10/07 Joe Matthew Lillard's got Shaggy pretty much nailed, but that's the only bright spot here. 1 stars
10/01/06 zaid-ur-rahman rahman 1 stars
7/12/06 David Cohen At least they acknowledged that Scrappy Doo is evil 2 stars
6/20/06 George It was okay 4 stars
4/02/06 JM Synth It's not like the original was THAT good, anyway 3 stars
12/21/05 miss patience 5 it is ok =) =( 4 stars
11/26/05 hunt the movie was dorky and nasty but kinden fun 1 stars
11/26/05 cr This movie mess up the mystery inc. and acting was pretty good, story alright, crappy 2 stars
8/30/05 ES Didn't like scooby-do as a kid, like it even less an an adult 1 stars
8/25/05 Eden Why set it on an island? Why have real monsters? Why have Scrappy Doo? 2 stars
8/04/05 ^podo i used to love this movie.... 3 stars
7/22/05 tony This moivie drives me nuts! 1 stars
6/20/05 darick Makes the cartoon look riveting in more ways than one (CGI, acting, plot, etc.) 1 stars
3/12/05 crandall101 I like this one 4 stars
2/20/05 Jeff Anderson MATTHEW LILLARD & ESPECIALLY LINDA CARDELLINI'S PERFORMANCES SAVE THIS! A BAD FILM VERSION! 1 stars
9/18/04 American Slasher Goddess A medicore cartoon padded out into a crapfest live action remake. 1 stars
8/25/04 jan horrible. loved the tv series, but this? they stole me 90 minutes of my life. smg=just bad 1 stars
8/22/04 Anthony G Fuck, thelma is so fucking hot, I love me a nerdy bitch! 3 stars
7/07/04 WestJay Scooby at his best! Great graphics! I loved it!! 5 stars
7/05/04 kelsey lehmann freddie prinze jr. is sexy 5 stars
7/05/04 spritely Forget the plot; see it for Matt Lillard and the humor 5 stars
7/05/04 Brian C0urtney Silly but hilarious 5 stars
4/29/04 Jamie A very good movie. 5 stars
4/10/04 Coco Chanelle My favourite movie, and i cant wait to see the next one 5 stars
4/03/04 da hood what the fuck are they thinking? i had to get shitfaced immediatly after i saw this shit!!! 1 stars
4/02/04 Jeff A disaster pure and simple. Hollywood needs to stop with the damn cartoon/TV remakes. 1 stars
3/31/04 re It was grear 5 stars
3/22/04 Littlepurch So bad it was good. Hate that saying but it applies here. Atkinson was good. 4 stars
3/01/04 ME THIS FILM ROCKS 5 stars
2/06/04 tatum Idiotic fluff, why did you people plunk down $ to see this?? 1 stars
11/15/03 KR Who knew Velma could be so hot in real life? The movie still licked balls, though. 1 stars
10/10/03 Erik Van Sant Such a neat concept: animating human shit and watching it try to entertain. 1 stars
10/07/03 neasa Its my fav movie so shut-up 5 stars
10/03/03 Samuel Justus Ebert & Roeper say everything suck, so i dont even listen to critics anymore! 4 stars
9/28/03 snowconehead I admit velma has everything to do with my rating 5 stars
5/31/03 mee AWESOME 5 stars
5/20/03 Jack Sommersby It's at least more spirited than the ultra-lame "Spider-Man". 2 stars
5/17/03 olivia great 5 stars
3/01/03 ME THIS FILM ROCKS 5 stars
2/07/03 123 bad acting, bad plot, bad humour 1 stars
2/04/03 Turtle It did what it was supposed to, and did it pretty well. I'd gladly see it again! 4 stars
1/09/03 Movie-Going Public ... And we hate you too, schism. Also Linda is uber hot. Pleez take off ur clothes thx. 4 stars
12/07/02 BAM NOT AS BAD AS THE PEOPLE SAY 5 stars
11/12/02 Andrew sucks like that attack of the craps this summer 1 stars
10/27/02 Matt Neopalitano The screenwriters didn't emerge from the haze of marijuana smoke to see the original. 2 stars
10/21/02 Bruce Hollendonner Like a cartoon turd hawking perfume at 8 bucks a ticket. 1 stars
10/19/02 Ken Lillard born to play Shaggy. A bad cartoon makes a terrible movie. 1 stars
10/17/02 Priscilla Postlethwaite 'Neath lotsa ornate window dressing, it's just another girls-don't-fart fantasy. 3 stars
10/15/02 Joana It could be SOOO much better!!! 2 stars
10/14/02 palaboy101 GOOD IDEA marred by a RIDICULOUS script (Scrappy-Doo planned world domination thru aliens!) 2 stars
10/14/02 STEVE NOT THAT BAD NEITHER IS IT GOOD THOUGH...LOVED THE GCI SCOBBY 3 stars
10/12/02 qtpie YOU ALL SUCK THIS MOVIE ROCKS 5 stars
10/12/02 C Anderson It sucks!!!!!!!! 1 stars
10/07/02 Russ. OZ, 3 Stars!? WHY, Ah hell, we all get drunk and do something stupid everyone and awhile. 1 stars
9/16/02 blakers The best movie ever 5 stars
9/01/02 J I believe I'm going to go with OZ on this one of sorts. 3 stars
9/01/02 Jessie I really liked this movie! I thought it was really good!! 5 stars
8/28/02 viking an embarrassment to the Aussie film industry. 1 stars
8/25/02 Turkish gay as shit, jus like everyone that gave this movie a good rating 1 stars
8/24/02 Helen Freddie Prinze Jr. cannot act and the plot was so stupid 1 stars
8/17/02 AJ Very disappointing 2 stars
8/17/02 Andrew Patrick This Might Be The Best Worst Movie I seen 3 stars
8/13/02 What a bleeding, pus-filled, infected hemorrhoid! Gellar is fuckable. Cannibus 1 stars
8/12/02 Max No way this movie should be taken seriously. As such is hilarious 4 stars
8/11/02 Michael Carruthers Great fun, some jokes aren't that funny, but still worth a look. Lots of fun! 4 stars
8/08/02 Bobmer00 i concur, the movie sucks ass 1 stars
7/29/02 Jon Spitting on the cartoon's grave. Since when did scooby doo have real ghosts in? grr... 2 stars
7/28/02 Kino I liked it... probably just because I was stoned off my ass. 4 stars
7/24/02 Titus Shaggy and Scooby stole the show. Not great, but fun. 4 stars
7/18/02 Rod Williams I laughed at the trailers & more in the movie. Scooby & Matthew = hilarious. Movie sucked. 2 stars
7/14/02 Phoenix I kept looking at Sarah Michelle Gellar's breats, could barly watch the movie though. 2 stars
7/13/02 ! nice movie! 4 stars
7/12/02 bob leather jacket Mis-casting and poor script 1 stars
7/12/02 Veronica Foxx I could make a better movie with puppets, cardboard sets and a friggin' kaleidoscope. 1 stars
7/09/02 iambubby Ruh, ro! What a piece of rhit! 1 stars
7/09/02 Linda Cardellini Why oh why did I agree to do a movie with Prinze Jr. 1 stars
7/05/02 Joe Bacon Where's the Odorama Card when you REALLY need it???? 1 stars
7/05/02 RIC B JUST PURE KIDDIE CRAP 1 stars
7/02/02 KMG I didn't see it but wanted to just lower the score even more! 1 stars
7/01/02 J. I'm with tad on this; the movie sucks! 1 stars
6/28/02 K its supposed to be fun... it is 5 stars
6/27/02 J I've somewhat changed my mind, this is a decent at best movie. 3 stars
6/26/02 bullit17 Where is the "0 Star" rating on HBS when you really need it? 1 stars
6/25/02 Rhesus Any one who gave this above a 1 STAR should get a kick in the nuts(or the cunt; it may be.) 1 stars
6/24/02 Gary Vidmar's Illegitimate Daughter, Gladys I've always hated the cartoon, but with the addition of Prinze Jr., this is 10x worse. Bad! 2 stars
6/22/02 Law great kids flick 4 stars
6/22/02 gunter simple retarded fun 4 stars
6/20/02 Chris Oh, Come on. It's more annoying than the TV show and it's crappy and old. 1 stars
6/19/02 Mr Math Unbelievably bad. Are film fans really so easy to please? For crying out loud, people! 1 stars
6/19/02 Ken Kopin Roaring great fun, with and ending you have to admit you did NOT see coming. 5 stars
6/18/02 Roy Smith Linda and Sarah....rowr! Actually not too bad, stupid but fun. 4 stars
6/18/02 Angry Black Man Has anyone noticed that its the cast of "Scream" repackaged? 1 stars
6/18/02 Brian Great fun for fans. Everyone else, go away. 5 stars
6/18/02 Nessus Not as bad as I was expecting. Some good in jokes. Mostly retarded. 3 stars
6/17/02 Lexy Z Not nearly as bad as it could've been with Mr. Prinze Jr. I actually was quite entertained 4 stars
6/16/02 MyztiQ i loved it 4 stars
6/16/02 Flick Chick boring/dumb for adults,scary for little kids, brats ages 8-10 will like it 2 stars
6/16/02 Rampage WTH was that! And worse than the movie trailer! 1 stars
6/15/02 MArijuana Dogg What were the directors smoking? This was terrible! 1 stars
6/15/02 William Hanna My God, here's the proof that the Anti-Christ is alive and well. 1 stars
6/14/02 The Chronic Mastubator For the mere fact that they used a bunch of teenybopper faves to get the twerpy teen dollar 1 stars
6/09/02 Scooby DON'T! Saw a preview screening, worst movie since Rollerball 1 stars
IF YOU'VE SEEN THIS FILM, RATE IT!
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USA
  14-Jun-2002

UK
  N/A

Australia
  20-Jun-2002




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