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Overall Rating
2.3

Awesome: 14.97%
Worth A Look: 11.56%
Average: 10.88%
Pretty Bad: 13.61%
Total Crap48.98%

6 reviews, 111 user ratings


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Scooby-Doo
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by MP Bartley

"Oh Lord, Why Have You Forsaken Me?"
1 stars

Dear Hollywood, I give up. I've tried reasoning with you. I've asked you politely to give up. I've walked out of crap, told people what not to see, boycotted certain films and all the while recommended films like 'Memento'. All in the hope that you'd give up producing shit like this. But you didn't. And now you're going to have to die.

But yes Lord, I've prayed to you too. I've asked you to stop them but still they keep doing it. I mean, what have I done to deserve this? I swear those thoughts I had about my flatmates 16 year old sister were just those - thoughts. I've stopped drinking tequila by the quart. I've started being kind to animals and little old ladies. But no, not even you could stop the horror that is 'Scooby-Doo' (or Scooby-Don't.Or Scooby-Poo. See how easy this shit is?) being inflicted upon us.

Seriously though, why? Who the hell was searching around for a good idea for the latest blockbuster and thought of 'Scooby-Doo'?

EXECUTIVE 1: Umm, what about 'The Munsters'?

EXECUTIVE 2: Nah, the last 'Addams Family' stiffed

EXECUTIVE 1: 'The Jetsons'?

EXECUTIVE 2: Didn't you see 'Pluto Nash'?

EXECUTIVE 1: Ooh, ooh I know I know!! 'Scooby-Doo'

EXECUTIVE 2: What, 'Scooby-Doo'? That tired old cartoon with the same plot week after week, full of not-so-subtle drug, sex and lesbianism references?

EXECUTIVE 1: That's the one!

EXECUTIVE 2: Bingo! Ker-ching!!

And what's worse people bought it. They not only saw it, they flocked to it. In droves. People were actually excited about it. They were waiting to see it. So much so that a sequel's being prepared as we speak. There is truly no hope for some people. How many more signs did they need for the Apocalypse?

Don't they remember 'The Flintstones' and how that stunk? Hell, don't they remember how incredibly bad 'Scooby-Doo' is anyway in cartoon form?

What more did they need? FREDDIE PRINZE JR!!!!Even the involvement of that cretinous, shit sucking, talent vacuum wasn't enough to deter people. For fricks sake IT'S FREDDIE PRINZE JR!!! HE COULDN'T ACT IF HE HAD TO PLAY A CORPSE LOCKED IN A BOX THAT YOU DON'T EVEN SEE!

And Gellar as well, Jesus...Yes Gellar, congratulations you are hot. You can get a job outside 'Buffy'. But being 'hot' does not a good actress make especially when you have zero presence, charisma or talent.

Cardellini? You're the 'cool wacky indie choice' apparently. Well bad news. You blew. Hard. Hope they kept the vacancy open at McDonalds for you.

FREDDIE PRINZE JR!!!!!!

Oh Lillard how marvellous you are. How magnificently you pulled off the character of Shaggy. That's up there with Olivier's version of 'Hamlet' it really is. I can imagine them now - Olivier, Gielgud, Lemmon. Stewart...all weeping at the fact they didn't have a chance or the ability to nail the live version of a cartoon stoner the way you did. Truly you are blessed, and truly you inspire us.

I can see some people complaining now: "Oh come on, you can't be that harsh. It's for the kids".
Kids deserve better. Kids can get 'Toy Story', 'Monsters, Inc' or 'Labyrinth'. What kind of films are we going to get from a generation of future filmmakers who are raised upon 'Scooby-Doo' and led to believe that that's what they like and need? Kids have imagination and boundless energy. They can be inspired, stimulated and taught. A CGI farting dog falls just below par I think.

So in short Hollywood, I'm leaving you. Thank you for the good times, I'll cherish the memories and think about the happy days we spent together watching 'Lord of the Rings' or 'Traffic'. But the love affairs over and I'm not coming back. Unfortunately I have a feeling that everyone else will still come back. Again and again.

link directly to this review at http://www.efilmcritic.com/review.php?movie=4824&reviewer=293
originally posted: 08/09/02 23:39:30
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TV to Screen: For more in the TV to Screen series, click here.

User Comments

4/14/17 Susan Denise Nymm The Scooby Movie didn't break me. Having Scrappy be evil broke me. Some of us like him! 1 stars
10/30/09 wow im high this movie is aweful when your high... why is scrappy doo evil?? i mean i hate em. 1 stars
10/20/09 Barker What happened to Velmas Breasts?!?! That was Sarah M Geller?!?!?! Horrible acting/script/pr 2 stars
8/13/09 Jeff Wilder Scooby Doo run run away from this awful movie! 1 stars
12/05/08 Shaun Wallner Hilarious Movie! 5 stars
10/15/08 PAUL SHORTT COMPLETE LACK OF ORIGINALITY, CLEVERNESS OR EVEN VISIBLE EFFORT 1 stars
9/11/07 Steph Loved It!!! Dudes don't be jealous that your not on tv 5 stars
6/18/07 ian strange I absolutely hated it. 1 stars
4/13/07 David Pollastrini Never was a big scooby fan 3 stars
2/10/07 Joe Matthew Lillard's got Shaggy pretty much nailed, but that's the only bright spot here. 1 stars
10/01/06 zaid-ur-rahman rahman 1 stars
7/12/06 David Cohen At least they acknowledged that Scrappy Doo is evil 2 stars
6/20/06 George It was okay 4 stars
4/02/06 JM Synth It's not like the original was THAT good, anyway 3 stars
12/21/05 miss patience 5 it is ok =) =( 4 stars
11/26/05 hunt the movie was dorky and nasty but kinden fun 1 stars
11/26/05 cr This movie mess up the mystery inc. and acting was pretty good, story alright, crappy 2 stars
8/30/05 ES Didn't like scooby-do as a kid, like it even less an an adult 1 stars
8/25/05 Eden Why set it on an island? Why have real monsters? Why have Scrappy Doo? 2 stars
8/04/05 ^podo i used to love this movie.... 3 stars
7/22/05 tony This moivie drives me nuts! 1 stars
6/20/05 darick Makes the cartoon look riveting in more ways than one (CGI, acting, plot, etc.) 1 stars
3/12/05 crandall101 I like this one 4 stars
2/20/05 Jeff Anderson MATTHEW LILLARD & ESPECIALLY LINDA CARDELLINI'S PERFORMANCES SAVE THIS! A BAD FILM VERSION! 1 stars
9/18/04 American Slasher Goddess A medicore cartoon padded out into a crapfest live action remake. 1 stars
8/25/04 jan horrible. loved the tv series, but this? they stole me 90 minutes of my life. smg=just bad 1 stars
8/22/04 Anthony G Fuck, thelma is so fucking hot, I love me a nerdy bitch! 3 stars
7/07/04 WestJay Scooby at his best! Great graphics! I loved it!! 5 stars
7/05/04 kelsey lehmann freddie prinze jr. is sexy 5 stars
7/05/04 spritely Forget the plot; see it for Matt Lillard and the humor 5 stars
7/05/04 Brian C0urtney Silly but hilarious 5 stars
4/29/04 Jamie A very good movie. 5 stars
4/10/04 Coco Chanelle My favourite movie, and i cant wait to see the next one 5 stars
4/03/04 da hood what the fuck are they thinking? i had to get shitfaced immediatly after i saw this shit!!! 1 stars
4/02/04 Jeff A disaster pure and simple. Hollywood needs to stop with the damn cartoon/TV remakes. 1 stars
3/31/04 re It was grear 5 stars
3/22/04 Littlepurch So bad it was good. Hate that saying but it applies here. Atkinson was good. 4 stars
3/01/04 ME THIS FILM ROCKS 5 stars
2/06/04 tatum Idiotic fluff, why did you people plunk down $ to see this?? 1 stars
11/15/03 KR Who knew Velma could be so hot in real life? The movie still licked balls, though. 1 stars
10/10/03 Erik Van Sant Such a neat concept: animating human shit and watching it try to entertain. 1 stars
10/07/03 neasa Its my fav movie so shut-up 5 stars
10/03/03 Samuel Justus Ebert & Roeper say everything suck, so i dont even listen to critics anymore! 4 stars
9/28/03 snowconehead I admit velma has everything to do with my rating 5 stars
5/31/03 mee AWESOME 5 stars
5/20/03 Jack Sommersby It's at least more spirited than the ultra-lame "Spider-Man". 2 stars
5/17/03 olivia great 5 stars
3/01/03 ME THIS FILM ROCKS 5 stars
2/07/03 123 bad acting, bad plot, bad humour 1 stars
2/04/03 Turtle It did what it was supposed to, and did it pretty well. I'd gladly see it again! 4 stars
1/09/03 Movie-Going Public ... And we hate you too, schism. Also Linda is uber hot. Pleez take off ur clothes thx. 4 stars
12/07/02 BAM NOT AS BAD AS THE PEOPLE SAY 5 stars
11/12/02 Andrew sucks like that attack of the craps this summer 1 stars
10/27/02 Matt Neopalitano The screenwriters didn't emerge from the haze of marijuana smoke to see the original. 2 stars
10/21/02 Bruce Hollendonner Like a cartoon turd hawking perfume at 8 bucks a ticket. 1 stars
10/19/02 Ken Lillard born to play Shaggy. A bad cartoon makes a terrible movie. 1 stars
10/17/02 Priscilla Postlethwaite 'Neath lotsa ornate window dressing, it's just another girls-don't-fart fantasy. 3 stars
10/15/02 Joana It could be SOOO much better!!! 2 stars
10/14/02 palaboy101 GOOD IDEA marred by a RIDICULOUS script (Scrappy-Doo planned world domination thru aliens!) 2 stars
10/14/02 STEVE NOT THAT BAD NEITHER IS IT GOOD THOUGH...LOVED THE GCI SCOBBY 3 stars
10/12/02 qtpie YOU ALL SUCK THIS MOVIE ROCKS 5 stars
10/12/02 C Anderson It sucks!!!!!!!! 1 stars
10/07/02 Russ. OZ, 3 Stars!? WHY, Ah hell, we all get drunk and do something stupid everyone and awhile. 1 stars
9/16/02 blakers The best movie ever 5 stars
9/01/02 J I believe I'm going to go with OZ on this one of sorts. 3 stars
9/01/02 Jessie I really liked this movie! I thought it was really good!! 5 stars
8/28/02 viking an embarrassment to the Aussie film industry. 1 stars
8/25/02 Turkish gay as shit, jus like everyone that gave this movie a good rating 1 stars
8/24/02 Helen Freddie Prinze Jr. cannot act and the plot was so stupid 1 stars
8/17/02 AJ Very disappointing 2 stars
8/17/02 Andrew Patrick This Might Be The Best Worst Movie I seen 3 stars
8/13/02 What a bleeding, pus-filled, infected hemorrhoid! Gellar is fuckable. Cannibus 1 stars
8/12/02 Max No way this movie should be taken seriously. As such is hilarious 4 stars
8/11/02 Michael Carruthers Great fun, some jokes aren't that funny, but still worth a look. Lots of fun! 4 stars
8/08/02 Bobmer00 i concur, the movie sucks ass 1 stars
7/29/02 Jon Spitting on the cartoon's grave. Since when did scooby doo have real ghosts in? grr... 2 stars
7/28/02 Kino I liked it... probably just because I was stoned off my ass. 4 stars
7/24/02 Titus Shaggy and Scooby stole the show. Not great, but fun. 4 stars
7/18/02 Rod Williams I laughed at the trailers & more in the movie. Scooby & Matthew = hilarious. Movie sucked. 2 stars
7/14/02 Phoenix I kept looking at Sarah Michelle Gellar's breats, could barly watch the movie though. 2 stars
7/13/02 ! nice movie! 4 stars
7/12/02 bob leather jacket Mis-casting and poor script 1 stars
7/12/02 Veronica Foxx I could make a better movie with puppets, cardboard sets and a friggin' kaleidoscope. 1 stars
7/09/02 iambubby Ruh, ro! What a piece of rhit! 1 stars
7/09/02 Linda Cardellini Why oh why did I agree to do a movie with Prinze Jr. 1 stars
7/05/02 Joe Bacon Where's the Odorama Card when you REALLY need it???? 1 stars
7/05/02 RIC B JUST PURE KIDDIE CRAP 1 stars
7/02/02 KMG I didn't see it but wanted to just lower the score even more! 1 stars
7/01/02 J. I'm with tad on this; the movie sucks! 1 stars
6/28/02 K its supposed to be fun... it is 5 stars
6/27/02 J I've somewhat changed my mind, this is a decent at best movie. 3 stars
6/26/02 bullit17 Where is the "0 Star" rating on HBS when you really need it? 1 stars
6/25/02 Rhesus Any one who gave this above a 1 STAR should get a kick in the nuts(or the cunt; it may be.) 1 stars
6/24/02 Gary Vidmar's Illegitimate Daughter, Gladys I've always hated the cartoon, but with the addition of Prinze Jr., this is 10x worse. Bad! 2 stars
6/22/02 Law great kids flick 4 stars
6/22/02 gunter simple retarded fun 4 stars
6/20/02 Chris Oh, Come on. It's more annoying than the TV show and it's crappy and old. 1 stars
6/19/02 Mr Math Unbelievably bad. Are film fans really so easy to please? For crying out loud, people! 1 stars
6/19/02 Ken Kopin Roaring great fun, with and ending you have to admit you did NOT see coming. 5 stars
6/18/02 Roy Smith Linda and Sarah....rowr! Actually not too bad, stupid but fun. 4 stars
6/18/02 Angry Black Man Has anyone noticed that its the cast of "Scream" repackaged? 1 stars
6/18/02 Brian Great fun for fans. Everyone else, go away. 5 stars
6/18/02 Nessus Not as bad as I was expecting. Some good in jokes. Mostly retarded. 3 stars
6/17/02 Lexy Z Not nearly as bad as it could've been with Mr. Prinze Jr. I actually was quite entertained 4 stars
6/16/02 MyztiQ i loved it 4 stars
6/16/02 Flick Chick boring/dumb for adults,scary for little kids, brats ages 8-10 will like it 2 stars
6/16/02 Rampage WTH was that! And worse than the movie trailer! 1 stars
6/15/02 MArijuana Dogg What were the directors smoking? This was terrible! 1 stars
6/15/02 William Hanna My God, here's the proof that the Anti-Christ is alive and well. 1 stars
6/14/02 The Chronic Mastubator For the mere fact that they used a bunch of teenybopper faves to get the twerpy teen dollar 1 stars
6/09/02 Scooby DON'T! Saw a preview screening, worst movie since Rollerball 1 stars
IF YOU'VE SEEN THIS FILM, RATE IT!
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USA
  14-Jun-2002

UK
  N/A

Australia
  20-Jun-2002




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