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Overall Rating
3.24

Awesome26.11%
Worth A Look: 22.17%
Average: 18.23%
Pretty Bad: 16.75%
Total Crap: 16.75%

7 reviews, 161 user ratings


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Austin Powers in Goldmember
[AllPosters.com] Buy posters from this movie
by PyThomas

"Mikey, I think it's time to pack the martini glasses and call it a trilogy."
3 stars

Oh, how the mighty have fallen: The first Austin Powers film, "International Man of Mystery" (1997), showed promise as a franchise. "The Spy Who Shagged Me" (1999) delivered on that promise, with new and just-as-crazy characters. But it looks to me that with "Goldmember", the Shagmobile has just run out of petrol.

We kick off this third installment, not with Felicity Shagwell getting offed, but with the film spoofing itself. (And if only the rest of the film could have been this hilarious and inventive.) Getting their cameos in at this point are Tom Cruise, Gwyneth Paltrow, Kevin Spacey, Danny DeVito, Steven Spielberg, Quincy Jones and Britney Spears in a hysterical moment that is a small step in making up for her "Crossroads" movie. And of course we see the usual mucking about by Austin Powers (Mike "Maybe I Should Do A Lothar Movie Next" Myers). We then see Dr. Evil (Myers Part II) planning his next big scheme to conquer the world, only to get busted early on by Austin and get sentenced to doing riffs on "Silence of the Lambs" and rap videos. But something strange happened while Dr. Evil got incarcerated: Austin's long-lost father, Nigel Powers (Michael "Where The Bloody Hell Has My Career Gone" Caine) was kidnapped and somehow transported back to the year 1975.

Well, once Austin catches wind of this, he goes back in time as well, and meets up with a funk sista named Foxxy Cleopatra (Beyonce "Bootylicious" Knowles) and a mysterious Dutchman who goes by Goldmember (Myers Part III). The Evil gang is back for more, and this time around Dr. Evil's son Scott (Seth "I Hope To God That Buffy's On For A Few More Seasons" Green) is making more of an effort to impress his dad, leaving Mini-Me (Verne "Next Guy Who Calls Me A Midget I'm Headbutting His Nuts" Troyer) out in the cold to contemplate switching sides. Also making a reappearance for bodily-function-humor's sake is Fat Bastard (Myers Part IV), now a white Sumo wrestler. Other cameos sprinkled throughout this film are from Nathan Lane, Katie Couric, the Osbournes and Fred Savage as a "mole" (yep, you guessed correctly what's on his face).

Mike manages to squeeze a few new gags out of his myriad of characters in this film, but it's clear that he's just about spent. One of the sporadic hilarious moments in "Goldmember" involves the clever use of subtitles while Austin and his team track down Dr. Evil in Japan. We get one more funny twist out of the "silhouettes doing provocative things" premise, but Austin's latest gag involving urination is (ahem) piss-poor. And far be it from me to pick on a fellow native of the Houston area, but while Beyonce's performance is cool and crazy, it just isn't quite up to par with her predecessors Liz and Heather. Verne is business as usual with Mini-Me, but once he becomes Mini-A.P., he does puts some new comical twists on his diminutive role. And the last person I'd expect to see in an Austin Powers film is Michael Caine, but he does a decent job with his Nigel performance.

Many things are missing from this Powers outing, like plothole control and a decent ending. But the biggest missing element is a peculiar and glaring omission indeed: the obligatory bedroom scene with Austin and his leading lady. Did Beyonce object to her character having to share a bed with Myers' character? (In fact, that would be pretty understandable.) Did the studios balk at the prospect of Austin engaging in interracial shagging? Did the test audiences disapprove of such a scene? Whatever it is, it seems as if Mike Myers lost his bollocks in this aspect of the film. You don't see a Bond flick without some kind of bedroom business; neither should that be omitted from an Austin Powers movie.

At any rate, "Goldmember" is a decently funny film that barely deserves its box-office take. However, it's clear that we're almost to the bottom of the vodka bottle. If there is a fourth Powers film ("A View To A Shag"? "For Your Knockers Only"? "Live And Let Your Teeth Rot"?) Mike & Co. can either right its course and get a tighter plot, better characters and fresher gags, or put it on cruise control again and end up with a film that stinks worse than Fat Bastard's jockstrap.

I'm hoping for the former, but I still feel the Austin Powers franchise would be better off if Mr. Myers hangs up the leisure suit for good right now while it can still be well hung. (Thankyew.)

link directly to this review at http://www.efilmcritic.com/review.php?movie=5101&reviewer=9
originally posted: 12/31/02 11:23:28
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User Comments

6/01/10 User Name It's hard to laugh at the jokes when you're too busy trying to figure out the confused plot 2 stars
3/04/08 Pamela White Mike does it good as always 5 stars
3/02/08 SamanthaPayntr laugh out loud funny, with some really hilarious moments! Mooooole 5 stars
4/24/07 David Risser Interesting twist at the end, I would like to see Scott Evil be the main villain. 5 stars
4/13/07 David Pollastrini not great, not terrible 3 stars
2/16/07 Vip Ebriega Continues the comic laughs of the series. 4 stars
1/23/07 del Definitely the weakest of the three, hands down. 3 stars
12/01/06 Browncoat This movie smells bad.Something must have died in it... like Mike Myers' "acting" career. 1 stars
11/13/06 Trent You have to be in a good mood to watch this i almost pissed myself 5 stars
10/08/06 isis I hate intolerance, and the Dutch 4 stars
9/14/06 Booksworm This movie stunk so badly I maxed out 3 credit cards on Febreeze 1 stars
9/08/06 date movie sucks worst one 1 stars
8/19/06 Beau i loved the beginning i thort it was funni, i loved the laughing toothless guy 4 stars
4/27/06 poo The most disapointing movie in 2002 2 stars
4/01/06 Anthony Feor If fart jokes make you laugh, then this is your film 3 stars
11/04/05 Indrid Cold Unfunny rehash of 2, whereas 2 was a funny rehash of 1. 3 stars
7/14/05 Sully this movie sucked on it own goldmember 1 stars
6/26/05 ryan I love goldmember. movie was good. 3 stars
6/24/05 tony Can the movie be any dryer? well funny at times but ending very crap 3 stars
5/18/05 Pippin007 Laughed a lot. Its OK 4 stars
1/19/05 Keaton the Black Jackal Okay, I'm not into potty humor, but I haven't laughed so hard at a movie in a long time. 5 stars
10/26/04 ELI This one was ok, but the other two were a lot better 3 stars
10/25/04 Chelsea This is the love of my life. 5 stars
10/04/04 DM This series has been officially mined for all of its good jokes now. 2 stars
9/10/04 jeff people find this movie either halarious or stupid, i love gooooooold 5 stars
9/01/04 A upton I likee a lot,,,,i`m a simple man. 4 stars
7/13/04 kitfo1 unfairly maligned. Beyonce surprises as the best Austin foil, and the Dutch get theirs 4 stars
5/20/04 kektex failed to find a single funny moment in this film.its sad what the US passes off as comedy 1 stars
5/11/04 tatum The series is getting worse as it goes along 3 stars
5/02/04 J It's funny but not hilarious like the other 2! Needs Work! ** 1/2 3 stars
4/14/04 Cat & De The movie was funny & great because we new the words!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 5 stars
4/08/04 chloe it is the best 5 stars
2/29/04 Littlepurch Really original and by far the best of the 3. All the actors and joke were hilarious! 5 stars
1/27/04 Chloe Brody Fat Bastard did you just soil yourself?! Maybe... 5 stars
1/21/04 Bemused Often A commercial failure...overproduced and enough wretched humor to really piss me off. 1 stars
12/09/03 Peter Having loved the first two Austin Powers films, was disappointed greatly w/ this garbage!!! 2 stars
10/09/03 BEN SALLUSTIO awesome movie 5 stars
10/09/03 BEN SALLUSTIO awesome movie 5 stars
9/18/03 Samuel Justus Why didnt they make a 'Waynes World 3' ?? oh why... 3 stars
9/16/03 Ghetto Smurf You guys only say it sucks because it's a sequel. You're just going along with the crowd. 5 stars
8/31/03 Tyler This movie rocks 5 stars
8/02/03 Scott young YEAH BABY! YOU ROCK YOUR MY HERO AND FAVOURITE ACTOR! 5 stars
7/17/03 kyle i liked it alot and i think it is sick how goldmember eats his skin 5 stars
7/08/03 jodan it was great 5 stars
6/26/03 cochese Enough Already! 2 stars
4/28/03 leon %%0qwe ozzy osbourne was right we already have seen this one 2 many times 2 stars
4/23/03 scarer baihn it is sooooo awesome!!! I ted it on DVD and I counted 100 times that I watched it . 5 stars
4/11/03 Jack Bourbon Lots of crap, lots of pants-pissers. 4 stars
3/23/03 Winthrop J Applesmythe III it wasn't very good. it wasn't that bad. IF they make another one, i hope it's better. 3 stars
3/18/03 Mike If they're smart they'll stop with this one 3 stars
3/17/03 Peter This movie certainly lives up to the first two. Beyonce was the only person who didn't fit. 5 stars
3/17/03 Jon "Thumb the Toad" Lyrik One hilarious scene, a few sporadic mild laughs, and that's it. Blah!! 1 stars
3/09/03 Film Dude THIS FILM IS NOT FUNNY. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE? 1 stars
3/02/03 Dean my winkie 5 stars
2/19/03 y2mckay Moments of hilarity, but this shit is SO played out. Love them Fook twins, tho! 2 stars
2/03/03 Movie Madness It so rules- Beyonce Knowles is faboulous . Anyone who hates this should be subitted to sp 5 stars
1/27/03 blah beyonce sucks. someone should shoot her. 3 stars
1/27/03 JUN Absolute bore! Don't waste your hard earned money! 1 stars
1/16/03 Jon Shmoke and a pancake anyone? 5 stars
1/12/03 Trying to leave looser heaven but you guys are NOT helping...good god whats wrong wit 1 stars
1/10/03 HoTtGuRl best fuken movie ever, i know the whole script by heart 5 stars
1/09/03 shiloh worse than the first 2, if that is, in fact, possible 1 stars
1/01/03 Sabine In my eyes it contained just as much creativity as its predecesors, bring on the 4th one 5 stars
12/31/02 John Aster Habig crude but a nice clean up from the second 4 stars
12/19/02 J. Long I thought is was just great mindless humor. Great movie to rent on a rainy day. 4 stars
12/19/02 max zhang I laughed once. Then I ass raped the wife because it was more fun. 3 stars
12/09/02 J. Chusing Laughed my bleeping ass off. 5 stars
12/09/02 Bluto My god, it was just painfull 1 stars
11/25/02 cinkcool good 5 stars
11/23/02 Kyle Utter SHIT. Recycled crap that wasn't all that funny to begin with. 1 stars
11/12/02 keenan its so funny i loved dr evil's rap!!! go and see it 5 stars
11/09/02 Stevo I laughed once. Fat Bastard & Goldmember are dreadful characters. At least there's Dr Evil. 1 stars
11/01/02 chrisbeckett gold member was good 5 stars
10/28/02 Robyn Jamil-Walid Best of series, although I wished Heather Graham was back 4 stars
10/23/02 uter The next Peter Sellers, my ass. Completely void of wit. 1 stars
10/22/02 Settle The first one was good, the second one had me hooked, but this one was just..... bad 1 stars
10/22/02 Jiz I'm with Steph. Total letdown, boring recycled shit. Did I mention Fat Bastard isn't funny? 1 stars
10/21/02 josh cool 5 stars
10/18/02 jason penny quite funny 4 stars
10/14/02 chris even more stupid than the first sequel bu still very funny at times 4 stars
10/10/02 Cat It wasn't even a movie just a bunch of skits put together... bad plot same old jokes 1 stars
10/09/02 Steph The recycled jokes from 1&2 werent funny & the ending sucked. The 2nd movie was the best. 1 stars
10/09/02 Britney Tailor The most awesome and funniest movie ever 5 stars
10/07/02 Sheridan The usual over-hyped crap that deserves to be burnt 1 stars
10/07/02 Nevz Enough already, this is getting boring! 1 stars
10/06/02 Incubassist Myers, stop it. Good, to bad, to "i want to die". STOP IT!!!!!!!! 1 stars
10/05/02 Zargo sometimes good, sometimes bad 3 stars
9/30/02 CrowEater Not anywhere near as funny or clever as the other Austin Powers movies, please kill it now. 3 stars
9/29/02 Peter Sherlock Mind numbing poo jokes for morons 1 stars
9/27/02 Metalboy How about Don't Myers.. 3 stars
9/27/02 Digi LOL 5 stars
9/26/02 JUN Just like a cold pizza of yesterday 1 stars
9/26/02 Dom Corleone Damn You Myers! 1 stars
9/23/02 Notsobookworm Was silly and brainless, but good fun 4 stars
9/23/02 syrius I TRIED to laugh, but just couldn't do it 2 stars
9/23/02 Eloise Make it stop.....please make it stop! 1 stars
9/22/02 Anarchy Azmi ugig 4 stars
9/21/02 spacecowboy "how about NO...." 3 stars
9/19/02 dlsag` fwep[f 5 stars
9/12/02 laron chapman FUNNY AS HELL THE BEST OF THE 3 5 stars
9/11/02 SadFan Sucked the big floppy donkey shlong 1 stars
9/10/02 David A. The peeing scene was great! Yeah, baby! 4 stars
9/09/02 Movie guy A GOOD FILM 4 stars
9/05/02 Dominik Duprelle Its MONEY FOR OLD ROPE isn't it? But then there are funny bits, howabout something new? 3 stars
9/03/02 PeterGibbons The worst kind of crap. There wasn't even a story. Meyers, the corporate schill. 1 stars
9/02/02 AshFan This is my favorite one! Mike Myers is 4 people!!! See it again and again!! 5 stars
8/25/02 Shane Meritt Yeah Baby! 5 stars
8/24/02 Natasha the best part was when Britney Spears' head exploded, most of the audience was cheering!!! 3 stars
8/19/02 Butterbean Meyers is a genius for making a shitload of money from just rehashing his old scripts. 2 stars
8/18/02 The Bomb 69 funniest of the bunch, even the repeated jokes were good!!! 5 stars
8/15/02 tim A movie to entertain you after seeing the disapointing attack of the craps! 4 stars
8/13/02 Cannibus Loved that hilarious beginning! (Go Spielberg!) Sporadic laughs throughout. Hated GM char. 3 stars
8/12/02 masin wolliams so bad that i went straight home and threw the first two austin powers dvds in the garbage 1 stars
8/07/02 Punk_Ass Fook Mi? no Fook Yu!! Funny fucking movie. 5 stars
8/06/02 sarahfar88 never laughed so hard in my life, loved the prison rap with the song from Annie, very funny 5 stars
8/06/02 Big B Jam-packed & clever, like they actually worked hard on this one. Some jokes pushed too far. 5 stars
8/05/02 Lexy Z. Funny. 4 stars
8/05/02 Edler Not too good. Needs a strong producer to shut down the inside jokes, etc. 2 stars
8/04/02 jarrod_101 sort of a rehash of the first two..had just enough charm and laughs to make it worth while. 4 stars
8/02/02 David When you laugh, you laugh hard, spend the rest trying to stay awake.... 3 stars
8/02/02 bullit17 Definitely the dumbest of the three AP movies. But quite possibly the funniest. 4 stars
8/02/02 gw bush if u liked the first two, you'll love this one. 5 stars
8/02/02 M mmmm.. more drivel 2 stars
8/02/02 Ashley M.M is hysterical! 5 stars
8/02/02 Crunchyfrog Disappointing baby, YEAH!! 2 stars
8/01/02 Gibbo Purile and revolting (except the opening scenes) 1 stars
8/01/02 loaded1200 ended INCREDIBLY weakly! Seems to be a theme in AP movies... 4 stars
7/31/02 Roy Smith It's a Mini-Comedy with 1/8 the humor of the others 3 stars
7/31/02 Matt Take it for what it is, and you will love it. 4 stars
7/31/02 Art Richardson Fucking Ausome 5 stars
7/31/02 davebo approximately 1/18th as funny as the first, a few laughs 2 stars
7/31/02 Christopher Decent 3 stars
7/30/02 Paul This is a great, fun movie, but don't be expecting Shakespeare. 5 stars
7/30/02 Lauren Not a good as the second but still better than half the other crap out there! 4 stars
7/30/02 Blubberbot This movie is for the dumb. I loved the first 2. 1 stars
7/30/02 Pit It's a very good comedy film 4 stars
7/30/02 Butterbean Mike was just going through the motions 2 stars
7/29/02 Nick2k not original, but it was still funny. i have no faith in AP4 though. time to retire austin. 4 stars
7/29/02 patrick I think the movie was great I especially liked foxy cleopatra and fat bastard 5 stars
7/29/02 Obi Wan I was very disappointed, Not even close to 2nd one and about same as 1st one. 2 stars
7/29/02 Girl 9 If you don't laugh out loud in this one you have no sense of humor. 5 stars
7/29/02 CooterJoe It's not the worst best I've seen, but after a few beers it made me chuckle a bit. 3 stars
7/29/02 The Truth The first two were inventive but this one doesn't have a single original or funny joke. 1 stars
7/29/02 Burp This film leaves cinematic skid marks. Total crap... 1 stars
7/29/02 Film Guy Funny as hell. The second best in the series, 4 stars
7/29/02 Ramblin' Wreck This series keeps getting funnier and funnier.....Bring on AP4! 5 stars
7/28/02 erick better then second, worst then first, worth a watch 4 stars
7/28/02 K brittneys head explodes..other than that.. it sucked 2 stars
7/28/02 Law Mike Myers is a comic GOD!! 5 stars
7/28/02 Kyle Better then one might expect. First hour is absolute crap, though. 4 stars
7/28/02 BrodieMan More erratic than the first two, but just as funny. And that's what counts. 5 stars
7/27/02 Anders Much funnier than AP2, but this should be the end of the line. 5 stars
7/27/02 Benjamin Leatherman A bit too frenetic, but still funny and better than the last one. Kill the series now. 4 stars
7/27/02 bob first 5 min are funny, rest okay, don't pay full price, better than MIB2 4 stars
7/27/02 I love gooooold Better than the other two, everyone in the audience loved it 5 stars
7/27/02 dixie nourmous good ol' potty humor 4 stars
7/26/02 AgentDS Damn! I've never seen these many cameos! 4 stars
7/26/02 Y2JChicago Very Very Funny. Tons of jokes, most work 4 stars
7/25/02 Superdave Fricken Hilarious, Baby 5 stars
7/24/02 Sideshow VERY funny at times - fans will NOT be disappointed 5 stars
7/23/02 The Talking Elbow NA NA NA NA NA NA... RECYLED JOKES!!! NA NA NA NA NA NA... RECYLED JOKES! 1 stars
IF YOU'VE SEEN THIS FILM, RATE IT!
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USA
  26-Jul-2002 (PG-13)

UK
  N/A

Australia
  19-Sep-2002


Directed by
  Jay Roach

Written by
  Mike Myers
  Michael McCullers

Cast
  Mike Myers
  Michael York
  Seth Green
  Beyonce Knowles
  Michael Caine
  Verne Troyer



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