More in-depth film festival coverage than any other website!
Home Reviews  Articles  Release Dates Coming Soon  DVD  Top 20s Criticwatch  Search
Public Forums  Festival Coverage  Contests About 
Advertisement

Overall Rating
2.31

Awesome: 8.57%
Worth A Look: 21.43%
Average: 10%
Pretty Bad: 12.86%
Total Crap47.14%

4 reviews, 46 user ratings



Hellraiser: Bloodline
[AllPosters.com] Buy posters from this movie
by the Grinch

"In space, noone can hear you die from BOREDOM..."
2 stars

Here I have finally seen the one Hellraiser movie that I hadn't seen. I KNEW it would suck, but at least it didn't suck as exquisitely (Pinhead lingo) as Hellraiser 3.

Gratefully, I'm glad to report that the denizens of hell aren't as, ahem, "colorful" as those in the third Hellraiser flick. Sorry to dissappoint you, but there's no Toasterhead cenobite who decapitates his victims with supersonic lumps of charred bread. No MicrowaveFace to irradiate the honeys and disrupt radio signals everywhere, while throwing out classic one-liners like "If you can't stand the HEAT, get out of HELL'S KITCHEN!" and "That's-ah one SPICEY MEATBALL!". Yes, the cenobites this time around are a little more down-to-earth (well, in the first half of the movie, at least), but they still suffer a degree of suckitude.

Pinhead sucks too. He seems jaded and bitter in this film...no quips or clever comments at all, really. It must be Doug Bradley's bitterness coming through that he has to recite a script that isn't fit to wipe his ass with. Carrying on the precedent set by the craptacular 3rd Hellraiser movie, Pinhead Krueger maraudes around a Space Station looking for fresh victims. "PINHEAD...IN....SPACE Space space..." I kept expecting the Leprechaun, Jason Vorhees, and Pinhead to all run into each other in a corrider and beg each others pardon. When you have no original direction to take a series, just do what everyone does...TURN IT INTO ALIEN/IT: CREATURE FROM ANOTHER WORLD.

Also introduced is a demon named 'Angelique'. For some reason, she's in the film more than Pinhead, and apparently she and Pinhead have some sort of history together, because Pinhead takes every opportunity to yap about the good ole' days back at Leviathan's crib, something that the audience is never let in on, and which is ultimately pointless to the plot. That's all Pinhead does in this freakin movie is just yack yack yack. Hey, Pinz, remember US, the AUDIENCE? It's never made clear just what the hell Angelique is, a demon, a cenobite? So she can quite frankly Angelique my ass.

The thin excuse for carrying the Hellraiser series into space is a plot device involving a distant future relative of Les Merchant (the toymaker creator of the Puzzlebox), who has hijacked an offworld SpaceStation to turn it into a sort of Anti-Puzzlebox that can destroy the Cenobites and close the portal to hell forever. Yes, this plays out as idiotically as it sounds. You'd think this would conveniently close the series to any further abonimations masquerading as sequels, but they wisely (well, fiscally speaking at least) set it in the future...which is a good thing, as this allowed Hellraiser: Inferno to be made (a vastly superior horror movie, read my review for it -shameless plug-).

Alan Smithee directs, and chalks up another film to his very long resume. I don't quite see the stylistic similarities between this, 'Dune: Theatrical version', and 'The O.J. Simpson Story' (other than mindless violence, mind you), but maybe that's just me, haha. One cannot blame Yagher for wanting his name removed from this film, as Yagher is an excellent special-effects artist, and I can't see him making something this bad even if he wanted to.

There's more Flashback, Flashforwarding in this film than a Chuck Palahniuk novel. The screenplay manages to tell the stories of three different members of the Les Merchant bloodline, which has the result of boring one to death and pulling no less than two climaxes, one more disappointing than the other. We're not talking multiple orgasms here, this is more like prison-gangrape. If that's what you're into, then by all means go ahead....myself, I'll just pretend that the 1st, 2nd, and 5th films are the only ones that exist.

link directly to this review at http://www.efilmcritic.com/review.php?movie=528&reviewer=156
originally posted: 07/08/02 15:39:43
[printer] printer-friendly format  

User Comments

10/30/16 morris campbell crap pure crap no wonder clive barker disowned the franchise 1 stars
1/12/11 UknowJACK Terrible innacurate review. HR45 wasn't direct to video. 3 stars
3/01/08 Ivana Mann That Toymaker guy is the suckiest excuse for an actor I've ever seen. Ruins the movie! 1 stars
2/11/07 JM Synth Potential is wasted, but not awful 3 stars
10/09/06 K.Sear A wicked suck-fest in space. 1 stars
10/04/06 Sugarfoot Really bad sequel, without the hint of imagination that made 1-3 so enjoyable. 1 stars
9/21/06 PiNSkull hey it was gory...and thats the point of any hellraiser movie!! 4 stars
8/10/06 Dragon The Artist Probably almost as good as the orignal, it was'nt bad at all!!!! 4 stars
10/03/05 Biz-e The "best" since the 1st...great storyline, mediocre execution...too bad. 3 stars
9/30/05 ShabbaRanks "Do I look like someone who cares what God thinks?!?!?!" Best Pinhead line EVER!!!!!!!!!!! 3 stars
9/29/05 Jakub Would have been the best of the series if it didn't look so CHEAP!!!! 3 stars
3/18/04 Umbrella Corporation. Not Jason's "CHCHCHCHAHAHAHA" NOT Freddy's glove but, Micahel Myer's knife!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 4 stars
3/17/04 PAYNE_KillerZ A bit poor but... The Chatter-Beast Cenobite & Pinhead kept it alive!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 4 stars
2/23/04 Naturezrevenge Cenobites in space? Wasn't that "Event Horizion" This movie is caca. 2 stars
1/31/04 Jeffery Holbrook This was a good movie 4 stars
11/02/03 American Slasher Goddess Pinhead in space. Give me a break. 1 stars
10/20/03 Josh Standlee Friggin' bloody, but very good, even though Pinhead was only in space for ten minutes! 4 stars
10/11/03 Talos Bloody brilliant...good Mythos expansion. Excellent 5 stars
8/02/03 Double G good 4 stars
8/28/02 Bob MacBryce Excellent, much better than the terrible Hellraiser 3 5 stars
7/08/02 Charles Tatum The best in the series since the first film 4 stars
4/27/02 maximal01 Retread of the story revealed in the previous films. An excuse to show mind-numbing gore. 1 stars
3/07/02 Alan Smithee This movie was so bad, that I'm surprised I actually made it through to the end. 1 stars
2/10/02 B. Kwon The Movie is better than Expected, worth a look for a hellraiser fan................. 4 stars
1/28/02 Andrew Carden Man...This Series Should Have Gone After #2. 1 stars
8/06/01 E-Funk Kevin Yagher, Joe Chapelle and the infamous Alan Smithee couldn't save this cluster-fuck 1 stars
8/02/01 Elgyn The idea was decent - but MAN did they screw it up! 1 stars
5/30/01 Thrillhouse Jessica, your rating shows that you're a ass, I agree with TAJ's review, this movie sucks 1 stars
5/27/01 Jessica Only Idiots Don't Understand This Great Masterpiece! 5 stars
5/16/01 Rampage I'm not in the Halloween spirit... I want to destroy Hollywood... this movie sucked arse 1 stars
2/21/01 larry mora this movie kicked ass 5 stars
1/19/01 Pinhead Kick @ss movie!!!!! 5 stars
1/12/01 Liam Butler fantastic,brilliant 5 stars
7/30/00 Digitalus Somebody fire Alan Smithee, for Christ's sake! 1 stars
6/13/00 DAVID I can admit that this movie wasnt good but it had its moments!!! 3 stars
10/30/99 Elgyn6655321 Another example of an interesting idea turned into an awful film. 2 stars
10/24/99 Lame-Oh Ideal title for H-R 4: Who gives a flying crap? 1 stars
10/04/99 Suckit bullshit 1 stars
5/25/99 Ah Dooey Die Pinhead, die. This genre is finished. No more Hellraiser movies. 1 stars
2/25/99 Viral Messiah hoping to see Pinhead die... sucks all dick 1 stars
1/15/99 Joe Mama sad what they did to this good idea...i'm waiting to see Pinhead dance in H-R 4. 2 stars
12/15/98 Binky Piece of crap. 1 stars
11/29/98 Q-Meister Not even close to 1 or 2, but it beat the hell out of 3 3 stars
11/18/98 MinxxDaShorty Ohhhhh ,, I'm still shakin 1 stars
11/04/98 Bad Kosh Hey, I'm the hellraiser around in my family, in other words, SUCK MY BALLS, GODDAMIT! 1 stars
8/25/98 Miss Stress NO! 1 stars
IF YOU'VE SEEN THIS FILM, RATE IT!
Note: Duplicate, 'planted,' or other obviously improper comments
will be deleted at our discretion. So don't bother posting 'em. Thanks!
Your Name:
Your Comments:
Your Location: (state/province/country)
Your Rating:


Discuss this movie in our forum

USA
  08-Mar-1996 (R)
  DVD: 19-Apr-2011

UK
  02-May-1997 (18)

Australia
  14-Apr-1997 (MA)




Home Reviews  Articles  Release Dates Coming Soon  DVD  Top 20s Criticwatch  Search
Public Forums  Festival Coverage  Contests About 
eFilmCritic.com: Australia's Largest Movie Review Database.
Privacy Policy | HBS Inc. | |   

All data and site design copyright 1997-2017, HBS Entertainment, Inc.
Search for
reviews features movie title writer/director/cast