Because if I have to endure one more movie that's so lacking in originality that it has to ripoff the Wachowski brothers and every HongKong action director listed in the Chinatown phonebook,
I'M gonna take hostages!Swordfish starts out alright enough. The film opens with Travolta talking about why Hollywood sucks, something we can all agree upon here. He pontificates on the weak points of Pacino's "Dog Day Summer" and claims that Hollywood doesn't have the balls to make realistic action movies. Well, little did I know that this one scene is foreshadowing...who would've thought 'Swordfish' would become the perfect example of Travolta's argument?
Mr. Babarino plays some rich terrorist dude, with some phenomenally bad name that only the writer of 'End of Days' or a bad Harlequin romance novelist could've come up with. He's a cunning terrorist who rips off banks to fund his anti-terrorist terrorist activities. Confused yet? Oh yeah, he hangs out in rockin clubs that he owns, because everyone knows that political extremists love loud danceclubs, and hey, how can you sell a soundtrack if you don't have at least one club scene to display shitty, derivitive techno music that'll inevitably be featured on the "hit" soundtrack? He makes Alan Rickman's character from Die Hard look more dimensional than Shakespeare's MacBeth. Oh, and he blows alot of shit up. He blows shit up real good. Travolta sideswipes a kid on a tricycle, the tricycle hits a wall and explodes magnificently...and Travolta's post Pulp-Fiction hair doesn't so much as get spattered with adolescent viscera. Travolta punches a guy out and the guy's head explodes, David Cronenberg-style, not Peter North-style. In other words, alot of stuff bursts into flames, bodies pile up, machineguns go ratatatat, and the recycling center is kept busy for years sweeping the streets free of casings.
The premise of a secret agency bent on fighting extremism with extremism is interesting, but the potential is seriously handicapped by the sheer unoriginality of the director and cinematographer. Even Peter Hyams would be ashamed. And is anyone else as sick as I am of the freeze-frame-sweep around action shot that's been copied by every film since the Matrix and that stupid Gap ad used it? The techno-hacker scenes are some of the worst I've ever seen...apparently hacking into the defense department is like playing a round of Doom. Johnny Mnemonic eat your heart out.
It's not the actors' faults, the script is just stupid and tries to fake complexity by throwing in a bunch of lame plot "twists" and sub-plots. Don Cheadle somehow manages to shine in this, and John Travolta's wig puts in a good performance as well.Blah. Wait for video. It's ok for stupid action fare, but I guess I'm just bitter because I got sucked in by the "from the makers of the Matrix.." line in the trailer. HEY WARNER BROS, just because this film has the same producer as the Matrix does NOT make it "from the makers of the Matrix!"!! What's next? "From the Gaffers who brought you the lighting in 'American Beauty' comes..." "From the best grip who brought us the props in
'Saving Private Ryan'"...