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Overall Rating
2.11

Awesome: 4.39%
Worth A Look: 21.05%
Average: 8.77%
Pretty Bad: 12.28%
Total Crap53.51%

6 reviews, 78 user ratings



Ghosts of Mars
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by The Ultimate Dancing Machine

"Women are from Venus; bullshit sci-fi is from Mars"
1 stars

A deliriously stupid movie, "Ghosts of Mars" is a top contender for this year's Ed Wood Memorial Prize. It's almost unbelievably wrongheaded, in more ways than I care to count.

The goofy plot has members of the Mars Police Force, led by Natasha Henstridge, attempting to bring to justice the dangerous criminal James "Desolation" Williams (Ice Cube). Unfortunately, they find that Desolation is trapped inside a holding facility which, due to the deleterious effects of an odd red mist, is running riot with a gang of psychos who look like rejects from Gwar, complete with an Alice Cooper-ish leader who does virtually nothing throughout the whole movie but cock his head back and yell incoherently. In no time, Ghosts of Mars turns into a schizophrenic hybrid of Mad Max and Lord of the Flies, punctuated every now and then with lengthy fight scenes executed to the accompaniment of bad heavy metal music.

Yes, I think it's safe to say that Ghosts is fucked up in nearly every way possible. There's the flashbacks within flashbacks, the redundant narration, the dumb-as-lead dialogue, the latter consisting largely of people shouting "What the hell is going on?!" at predictable junctures. Furthermore, proponents of social progress will not be pleased to discover here that black men will make up a disproportionate chunk of the prison population on the Mars of the 22nd Century.

Some time ago, I discovered a litmus test for identifying bad movies. They tend to have very simple plots that somehow manage to be hopelessly muddled at the same time. It's rather difficult to explain exactly what the "ghosts of Mars" are supposed to be. Here we have a mysterious microbiogical mist that can possess people and make them go on murderous rampages. If the "host" is killed, then the mist is freed to possess others. In full awareness of this fact, our heroes moronically go about blowing people away left and right, with rather predictable results.

There are some very odd plot twists, one having to do with a hallucinogenic drug rescuing Henstridge from demonic possession--or something like that. Overall, the movie offers a prime example of what someone once coined the Idiot Plot: a story that doesn't work at all unless the characters act like idiots whenever necessary.

"Ghosts" is bad, painfully bad.

link directly to this review at http://www.efilmcritic.com/review.php?movie=5345&reviewer=223
originally posted: 09/04/01 18:01:55
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User Comments

2/21/17 morris campbell more carpenter crap 1 stars
9/01/12 Sean Harrison It's hard to believe this drivel came from one of the all-time masters of horror. 2 stars
7/21/12 Sean Harrison Disappointing from John Carpenter, one of the horror greats. 2 stars
1/26/12 Devin Sabas fun, but pretty terrible. 2 stars
12/16/11 Johnny Come-Lately nice B-movie and underrated 4 stars
9/23/10 PAUL SHORTT FEEBLE AND PREDICTABLE 1 stars
12/05/09 Chris F not a bad film at all worth watching 4 stars
9/14/09 Jeff Wilder Great special effects undercut by bad writing and weak acting. 1 stars
2/16/09 belike I thought the movie looked cool, the story just kinda kinda sucked. 3 stars
1/15/09 FrankNFurter Like a high school performance of "Alien."And by a really bad drama club. 2 stars
10/22/08 Shaun Wallner The only thing i remember bout this one is Ice Cube biting his lower lip. 1 stars
2/17/07 Vip Ebriega Nothin' really new. 2 stars
2/03/07 AJ Muller It ain't meant to be Asimov, folks. A fun 'n bloody time, don't take it too seriously. 4 stars
6/23/06 TempLoop Underated. If you expected 2001, or Starship Troopers look elsewhere 4 stars
4/03/06 Rocky This movie was totally entertaining and a lot of fun. 4 stars
3/15/06 Tom bla? 3 stars
8/12/05 ES After 'The Thing' and 'Big Trouble ILC' Why? Why? Why?!? 1 stars
6/08/05 JD No oscar winner but, entertaining and worth a look. 4 stars
6/06/05 ultrazone I enjoyed it, the score and the editing in particular 4 stars
5/15/05 Indrid Cold One of many barely watchable Carpenter movies, this one looks like it was made for TV. 2 stars
10/16/04 Don Eckert I can't believe this is the same director of "The Thing". I hope he can get his magic back 1 stars
10/08/04 X Thats it! Im through with Carpenter! 1 stars
9/17/04 Jillian Wood interesting, futuristic, inventive 4 stars
9/04/04 Vince WTF happened to the Carpenter who made THE THING ???? 1 stars
7/15/04 Daveman Has the general aesthetics of a b-movie but without the fun. 1 stars
6/12/04 Raymond Lee average movie, nothing special 3 stars
6/03/04 Shaun Worth a look, I actually enjoyed it somewhat. 4 stars
5/16/04 John should be playing in a drive in theatre - 3 stars
4/11/04 American Slasher Goddess Awful,Carpenter has lost it,indefinitely. 1 stars
2/10/04 Whatevr A 2-hour version of a sleeping pill 1 stars
1/26/04 Eric Great Cast!!!Horrible movie.....Really Horrible 1 stars
12/04/03 Charles Tatum I officially give up on John Carpenter 1 stars
11/25/03 josex sucks as hell, don't watch it 1 stars
11/22/03 jack Ice cube doenst make anything worth watching. if anything he makes me want to screw a sheep 3 stars
11/18/03 he a good film 4 stars
10/24/03 Josh Standlee Ice Cube made the movie worth watching. 4 stars
9/25/03 jimmy d this movie was so scary, i went home and when the pizza guy came i shot at him by accident. 4 stars
8/23/03 nr great 5 stars
8/07/03 P.Rodriguez This is the WORST movie ever 1 stars
6/30/03 Dave Hopman John Carpenter has lost his touch a long time ago....... 1 stars
5/14/03 Kyle A fun movie, I guess... 3 stars
4/28/03 Jack Bourbon I'm very pleased to give this movie a "SUCKS." My good deed for the day. 1 stars
3/13/03 me A AWESOME FILM 5 stars
2/16/03 Vince Stay far away from this POS. You've been warned! 1 stars
1/15/03 othree a worth while attempt, solid casting, a sci fi chan movie filler ..no need for editing 3 stars
12/31/02 Jack Sommersby A very entertaining b-movie parody. So much fun! 4 stars
10/27/02 Mr. Hat Jason Stathom tried his best to save it, but bad music & hilariously bad aliens overcome... 2 stars
10/21/02 Jim Watchable only for Statham, who hits on Henstridge at a crucial moment and she GOES FOR IT? 2 stars
10/14/02 JesseL Not bad for its type. Cinematography is good. 4 stars
10/07/02 P.Rodriguez Worst Movie Ever, and I've seen ALOT of movies 1 stars
9/25/02 jessica A GREAT FILM 5 stars
9/09/02 Ben Wasden Natasha Henstrige and Ice Cube are great. Unfortunately, the movie isn't that great. 3 stars
8/23/02 Fish Eye I seriously enjoy movies with Ice Cube...but the script for this one is dog shit 1 stars
6/26/02 Film Guy OK. not John Carpenters best effort 3 stars
6/24/02 Rog Stay the hell away from this movie, I cant believe i spent 10 bucks in my hotel for this 1 stars
6/01/02 monica Sweet 5 stars
5/18/02 Phoenix An absolutely terrible movie. This what John Carpenter has been reduced to. 1 stars
5/15/02 Blake This movie was great but had to much profanity 4 stars
4/13/02 Spencer Lent Sucked. 1 stars
2/28/02 Alan Smithee My lord was this movie terrible. What in the hell has happened to John Carpenter?!!!!! 1 stars
1/21/02 Soap Lando I viewed it drunk in a theater full of bad guys applauding each time a cop was killed 3 stars
1/21/02 Spencer Lent Natasha can't act. Best line: "I'm going to rip your titties off" and "Who are you calling 1 stars
1/19/02 Rego Allegro To be seen as a parody of B-movies - call it C or D-movie (to be seen by Kiss' ex-fans 4 stars
1/08/02 Spyguy2 Satisfying as Cheetos if you don't mind the orange crap staining your hands and mouth 4 stars
12/31/01 Jake This movie is better than it's reviews. It was worth viewing. Solid all around. 4 stars
12/30/01 Sthenno Not a bad film at all.Carpenter mixed many old themes from his past films. Well directed. 4 stars
12/23/01 Shane Robert Myers!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It is worth a look & i couldnt either rate it a good or bad movie! so its both!!!!!!!!!!!!! 4 stars
12/06/01 DubStar I feel stupider for renting this movie. Worst directing, acting, story, special fx EVER. 1 stars
11/07/01 P.Rodriguez Seriously the shittiest acting I ever encountered in any movie, and I've seen LOTS ofmovies 1 stars
10/10/01 Andrew Carden I Love Joanna Cassidy. Anything With Her Must Be Worth A Look. 4 stars
10/09/01 marzio arigoni it's not that bad! venice loved it (1200 people à la première, with great partecipation) 4 stars
9/06/01 outnow.ch even Red Planet was better. 1 stars
9/05/01 E-Funk It's Carpenter folks...cheesier than most, but still a hell of a ride. 4 stars
9/05/01 ron20003 What the hell was that?? 1 stars
9/02/01 Rampage almost as bad as Escape From L.A. 1 stars
9/02/01 Bill Clinton I liked the scene with the nude intern, I would like to get up on her and ride her! Whohah 5 stars
8/29/01 Daphne Aguilera when there's only you and 3 other people in the theather something's wrong 1 stars
8/28/01 wintermute 2 words: Chrome MAC-10's 4 stars
IF YOU'VE SEEN THIS FILM, RATE IT!
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USA
  24-Aug-2001 (R)

UK
  N/A

Australia
  25-Oct-2001 (M)




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