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Overall Rating
2.47

Awesome: 36.84%
Worth A Look: 0%
Average: 0%
Pretty Bad: 0%
Total Crap63.16%

1 review, 13 user ratings


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Return to the Blue Lagoon
[AllPosters.com] Buy posters from this movie
by The Ultimate Dancing Machine

"Return to pedophile island"
1 stars

An outrageously gauche semi-remake of a film that wasn't all that hot to begin with, RTTBL dares to ask the question, "Can you walk with that?" If you can't figure out what "that" refers to--the line is spoken by Jovovich to her male costar--then you're just the right audience for this flick. In which case you have serious, serious problems.

A pair of suntanned teens learn all about the birds and the bees on a lush tropical island. Because they are blissfully untouched by the corrupting influence of civilization blah blah blah blah, they pass the time with Easter-egg hunts and ring-around-the-rosey games. Ah, innocence! Oh, wretched dialogue! Oooooh, brain-dead noble savage philosophizing! Miss Jovovich, who was something like fourteen at the time this was shot, probably wound up in the video collection of pedophiles everywhere due to her mostly near-nude performance here.

Actually, the cinematography of RTTBL is fairly solid; it looks better--sharper, prettier--than the original, at least. But this movie is intolerably stupid--bad plot, bad dialogue, and bad acting all combine into a singularly horrible viewing experience. The film celebrates these two immature brats, both of whom seem to have the mental age of around six years old, as if there were something inherently evil about culture, education, and acting your age.

I dare anyone who's old enough to consume alcohol legally to watch it all the way through. In fact, if you're gonna watch this, you're going to NEED some booze handy.

link directly to this review at http://www.efilmcritic.com/review.php?movie=5394&reviewer=223
originally posted: 03/28/03 14:01:41
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User Comments

2/23/10 Abhishek Chakraborty Omfg...the most unnessasary movie ever made. 1 stars
11/16/09 TAUSEEF KHAN THE FILM IS MADE IN NATURAL PLACE AND THEY ATTRACT THE HREAT OF EVERY HUMAN 5 stars
2/02/07 Alicia ummmmmmmm no. 1 stars
11/29/06 David Pollastrini boring, dull, etc. 1 stars
12/28/03 Korey Brian Krause is friggan hot! 5 stars
12/23/03 tatum Horrid sequel absolutely no one demanded 1 stars
6/17/03 Erin I like. It was romantic and entertaining 5 stars
6/10/03 Mandy this film is very nice!It's so romantic!!I loved the plot and the cast 5 stars
3/29/03 Earl Dittman, Wireless Magazine I've never seen a prepubescent girl look so HOT! Two dicks UP!! 1 stars
8/23/01 Britt Verrrrrrrrrry good!!!! Fantastique 5 stars
8/03/01 Martin Bond Milla Jovovich was SOOOOOO beautiful!!! 5 stars
7/28/01 priscilla rippes i love to watch this movie 5 stars
6/24/01 Senor Pescolido One of the worst sequel ideas ever conceived. Done badly. 1 stars
IF YOU'VE SEEN THIS FILM, RATE IT!
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USA
  02-Aug-1991 (PG-13)
  DVD: 01-Feb-2005

UK
  N/A

Australia
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