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Overall Rating

Awesome: 13.58%
Worth A Look41.98%
Average: 17.28%
Pretty Bad: 20.99%
Total Crap: 6.17%

6 reviews, 45 user ratings

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Eight Legged Freaks
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by Brian McKay

"Do yourself a favor - stick to movies about spiders of the two-legged kind"
2 stars

So I'd been looking forward to this film for months, right? You got giant mutant spiders, shotgun-toting townspeople, and an unabashed B-movie flair. Add to that a clever ad campaign, including a blatant but funny attempt to ride the popularity of the recent "Spider-man" film, and I was ready for a sure-fire popcorn summertime winner. Boy was I wrong.

The first problem with "8 Legged Freaks" is that it is horribly, horribly written. Every tired bit of cliched dialogue, every cookie-cutter "misfit" character, they're all trotted out here and put on display. If they were more cleverly written, or more focused in the vein of a parody or homage, then the film could have been salvagable. But it is nowhere near clever or funny enough to be an effective parody.

The second problem is, it's not scary either. The spiders are too comical, with their cute little chittering noises and squeaks, to be taken as any kind of serious threat. Even when it tries to make subtle nods to earlier (and much better) B-horror films, it comes off as a weak attempt to copy them, rather than honor them.

So what we are left with is an unfunny comedy. Or is it an unfrightening horror film? A little of both, but mostly it's just another poorly written, badly executed Hollywood cookie-cutter genre flick. Add to that mostly inane casting, especially David Arquette as the "hero" and Doug E Doug as a woefully hamfisted, unfunny, and unconvincing talk radio conspiracy theorist, and you have a recipe for tedium. Only Kari Wuhrer is enjoyable to watch as the local Sheriff, not only because she's easy on the eyes, but because she turns in one of the few performances that doesn't make you want to roll your eyes.

I could have forgiven a lot of shortcomings, if there had at least been lots of good, gooey, creative spider killing. Most of the time, however, it's just people being pounced on and dragged away by the arachnids, while everyone else screams and runs around. The few spider-splattering money shots are definitely not worth sitting through the rest of the movie for.

If you want to enjoy a campy but fun B-movie, then go with a real B-film. Go rent "Evil Dead 2" or "Killer Klowns from Outer Space" Don't fall for mainstream Hollywood's pale big-budget imitation of better films made for a miniscule fraction of the cost but with ten times the creativity.

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originally posted: 07/21/02 17:19:42
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OFFICIAL SELECTION: 2006 Boston Sci-Fi Film Festival For more in the 2006 Boston Sci-Fi Film Festival series, click here.

User Comments

11/15/12 Dragoon the great ;) Great fun with a bit of a scare factor. THE POOR CAT! If you seen it you know what I mean 4 stars
11/17/08 Nick Great B-movie fun. Hilarious! 4 stars
10/31/08 Shaun Wallner Laughed my ass off! 4 stars
3/28/08 Renzo Funny, not scary. 3 stars
4/23/07 David Risser Spiders grow to rediculous sizes due to toxic waste, yeah, right. 1 stars
2/16/07 Vip Ebriega B-movie fun. Watchable for both laughs and shocks. 3 stars
1/29/07 Stanley Thai A very enjoyable film with very funny scenes. 4 stars
8/10/06 Dragon The Artist A lame attempt at a popcorn flick; campy,unamusing,& desicration to arachniphobia!! 2 stars
4/22/06 Jack The most comedic horror ever. Like it 4 stars
1/18/06 JM Synth Okay, but not as good as the "Tremors" films. The trailer was great though 3 stars
8/19/05 ES ho-hum movie from the losers that brought us ID4 and Godzilla (no the bad one) 3 stars
7/05/05 Jeff Anderson Everything the godawful GODZILLA & ID4 wasn't, LOTS OF FUN! Kari Wuhrer ROCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 5 stars
6/03/05 Quigley total envy of godzilla! the bullcrap is so high you'd need a footstool to see over it. 1 stars
5/17/05 sbpat21 very, very fun 4 stars
11/18/04 sd you SUCK 1 stars
5/13/04  Shaun Rose decent popcorn flick 3 stars
5/09/04 Charlene Javier Not fun enough. 2 stars
3/14/04 J A funny story of chaos with spiders. 4 stars
1/22/04 American Slasher Goddess Uneven balance of comedy and horror, which makes it extremely bad. 1 stars
12/20/03 Littlepurch Funny, exciting and enjoyable. 5 stars
9/06/03 Charles Tatum Big fun, good looking girls...and I still hate Arquette 4 stars
8/04/03 Kristina Scarlet was great and looks sure wasn't a problem. She looked so good. 5 stars
7/11/03 Eloise i like it, i like it alot, naf...... yet pleasing 5 stars
2/05/03 123 honestly, this is a rather boring movie 3 stars
2/04/03 Turtle I loved this CGI-crazy Tremors with attitude. It's lots of great, hilarious fun. 5 stars
12/30/02 Jim Kind of like "Gremlins" with spiders; Arquette actually turns in a performance. 4 stars
12/23/02 E-Rock David Arquette is a retard, and any movie he's in isn't worth being paid to see... 1 stars
12/18/02 Matthew The sound affects the spiders used were kind of funny but all in all it was pretty cornie. 2 stars
12/17/02 palaboy101 Great fun! Highly recommended! 5 stars
9/29/02 Matthew Smith great fun and it will make you Laugh, squirm and jump out of your seat 4 stars
9/20/02 Priscilla Postlethwaite Collin Souter, a rabbit isn't a rodent, and all mutations involve DNA. Study biology. 4 stars
8/16/02 scott AWSOME 5 stars
7/26/02 Matthew Sanchez A beautifully bad movie. bad can't be done much better. 5 stars
7/25/02 Greg Great! 5 stars
7/24/02 Courtney Tons of mindless fun! 4 stars
7/22/02 ajay a couple laugh-out-loud moments. And I like Doug E. Doug. 4 stars
7/22/02 trevor Get away you EIGHT LEGGED FREAKS! 4 stars
7/22/02 Flick Chick not scary, not hilarious, not interesting 2 stars
7/22/02 Rampage After seeing this, I wanted to squash spiders... 2 stars
7/21/02 Ren Bacon I thought it was toe-tapping fun, esp. Kari Wuhrer. Only Doug E. Doug failed. Un. Talented. 5 stars
7/19/02 Alan Hecker OK so a toxic spill in a *lake* creates crickets that give rise to giant spiders.... 4 stars
7/19/02 Kyle Somebody who's seen the movie. 4 stars
7/18/02 Danielle Ophelia It's a movie about giant mutant killer spiders...what the hell are you bitching about? 3 stars
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  17-Jul-2002 (PG-13)
  DVD: 01-Jun-2004



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