Celtic PrideReviewed By Chris Parry
Posted 09/06/98 13:52:23
Okay so you're going to have to excuse me because I'm laughin out loud just thinking about this piece of shit so ther might be some bad grammar or typing. I knew it.Why am I laughing?
Because this movie, from it's inception, was such a hunk of shit.
Because of all the people in Hollywood who I've been waiting to see screw up, did so in spades on this project.
Because it is so unfunny that the helper monkey who chooses Dan Aykroyd's scripts must have been the dumbest fuck in mama gorilla's litter.
Here's the skinny.
Aykroyd and Daniel Stern (Home Alone - the taller Pesci - there's a badge to wear with pride) are fanatical Boston Celtics fans who, rather than see their beloved team lose to the Utah Jazz, decide to kidnap their star player (Damon Wayans - still in movie jail for Major Payne).
Hilarity aparently ensues.
Reality says no, it doesn't.
If I thought either of these three were worth a pinch of shit, either from an artistic point of view or from a talent point of view, I would have been embarassed for them watching this movie.
But I don't think Aykroyd, Wayans or Stern *are* worth a pinch of shit. I've been bitten too many times, forking over hard-earned cash to see one of their films, only to come out wishing I had drowned myself in my overpriced artifical-butter-flavored popcorn.
Let me list the offences.
Aykroyd, Dan - The Great Outdoors, Blues Bros 2000, Coneheads, My Stepmother Is An Alien, Soul Man, Sgt. Bilko, My Girl 2, the Superbowl halftime show with Jim Belushi... this man clearly has no dignity.
Stern, Daniel - Home Alone 2, City Slickers 2, Bushwhacked, Rookie Of The Year... he's like a less repulsive Ernest.
Wayans, Damon - Major Payne, Look Who's Talking Too, Last Action Hero, Last Boy Scout, Blankman and The Great White Hype... what a shitful batch.
So I say, fuck them. They deserve to be in this film. They deserve it because when they signed on they must have known how shitty this shitty shitty film was going to be, but they signed on anyway.Oh yeah, in case you haven't worked it out... This sucks all ass.
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