"Forget straight to video. This should have been straight to hell."
Now this is where Hollywood shows it's true colors. Some poor sap would have worked for ages on this screenplay about a woman in a futuristic setting who kicks all ass blah blah blah.A producer says "Wow! I want the rights to this screenplay!" So the writer thinks he's set.
Then word filters in that the project has green-light. the writer runs out and buys a new home for his family.
Then word comes in that Barb Wire is going to be a low budget Pamela Anderson vehicle. The writer, having just spent two hours downloading Pam's latest video - "Little Pammy Sups The Cock" - walks into traffic never to be seen in 3-D again.
I mean what is it with Pammy? Straight to the internet videos are kinda down the ladder, aren't they? Even Corey Feldman goes straight to video.
Anyhows, I'm getting off the point. This could have been an interesting movie. Of course, it would have needed an actress in the lead role to make it interesting. Even an actress' patoot would have been interesting.
Instead, what we have is Pamela's silicone pals in tight fitting black leather and stilettos, pretending to kick holy syrup out of bad guys in the search for I don't even remember what because it wasn't important. I was just waiting for the inevitable breast-spill.
There was a Jabba the Hutt type dude at the end that looked pretty funny. But only because it was supposed to look cool. And didn't.
I've only ever had less fun watching breasts on a big screen once. That was in Anna Nicole Smith's hilarious attempt at being an action heroine - Skyscraper.
Barb Wire stretches the limits of pathetic.And Pammy looks a lot more convincing as an actress when she has Tommy Lee's cransky in her mouth.
The rating should be changed to "sucks all dick".