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Overall Rating

Awesome: 8.16%
Worth A Look: 16.33%
Average: 6.12%
Pretty Bad: 14.29%
Total Crap55.1%

3 reviews, 31 user ratings

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Sorority Boys
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by Erik Childress

"God Help Us If A Worse Movie Is Released This Year"
1 stars

Slackers. How High. The Wash. Two Can Play That Game. Freddy Got Fingered. Tomcats. Just Visiting. Double Take. Dude, Where’s My Car? Boys and Girls. Ready To Rumble. Whipped. If you enjoyed any of these titles, consider yourself amongst an elite company for these are some of the worst comedies to be produced over the last few years. They also have something else in common. None of them are as bad as Sorority Boys, a film so unfunny, so misogynistic, so stunningly awful, that it may prove to be a revolution for the direct-to-video market. If this can be released in theaters, then Shannon Tweed and Lorenzo Lamas can’t be far behind.

In what apparently passes for high concept these days, three fraternity brothers of the Kappa Omega Kappa (a.k.a. K.O.K.) are accused of ripping off the fraternal members dues (kept conveniently in huge wads of cash in an upstairs safe) and are tossed out in a fit of revenge by the spurned pledgemeister (who has the hair of Buster Poindexter and the voice of Dan Aykroyd in Caddyshack II.)

Like wolves in women’s clothing, the guys unsuccessfully try to break back in to retrieve a potentially incriminating videotape and are thrown out on their wigs and high heels to the doorstep of the Delta Omicron Gamma (a.k.a. D.O.G.) sorority where they are immediately welcomed with open arms. You would be correct in assuming that this house is filled exclusively with the less attractive girls on campus and headed by a beautiful blonde feminist who wears glasses. (Did anyone see Not Another Teen Movie?)

That’s essentially it. Brain dead flesh packages revived by Pauly Shore on an ecstacy trip know exactly what’s going to happen. The boys will learn valuable lessons about what its like to be a woman while at the same time teaching the “DOGs” how to stand up for themselves against the hot pink ladies from Cappa Underwear Nude Tittie (a.k.a. well, you do the math.)

If any of this was funny or amusing in the slightest it could have just been filed as another time-wasting 90-minute-by-committee that may go down better when you’re drunk. But it’s worse. The makers of Sorority Boys have joined the growing trend of those who have found an MPAA loophole to display the male organ without actually displaying it and receiving the dreaded NC-17. Yes it’s the pornographic housewive’s delight that is the dildo and Sorority Boys may have just cracked the record for the most in a movie. Frat brothers catapult dildos like water balloons, sorority girls attack moving dildos and two of our heroes even engage in a no-holds-barred lightsaber dildo duel after dipping into a basket full of colorful 12-inch wangers no doubt supplied by the ROY G. BIV House Of Cock.

Director Wallace Wolodarsky (a former writer for The Simpsons) and writers Joe Jarvis and Greg Coolidge may come to the defense of the rampant misogyny by steering us towards a deeper message, how most of the guys are hopeless dorks and how there’s more male nudity than female nudity in some sort of reverse empowerment deal. As if the “One To Grow On” message can erase the memory of the film’s women being humiliated, treated as whores and called every derogatory name invented to date. Even the comeuppance of the meanies by the she-males consists of getting smacked around on the football field and thrown overboard off a moving ship. You also have to question the intelligence of the women who can’t figure out these are men traipsing around their house, especially when their leader showers with one of them several times (without her glasses) and even responds at one point, “stop poking me in the butt.”

The ads of the film ask you to “look closer” (as if this were American Beauty.) The only thing you’re likely to notice, however, is the presence of James Daughton, Mark Metcalf, Stephen Furst and John Vernon. If those names together don’t ring a bell, than how about if I said Greg Marmalard, Doug Neidermeyer, Flounder and Dean Wormer. If those names still don’t ring a bell, then you’re either dead or this film’s most inspired (if unfunny) piece of casting goes lost on the very generation it’s trying to amuse. Of course, National Lampoon’s Animal House was a brilliant piece of satire about college life and had as much truth about normal (if anarchic) human behavior as it did your average gross-out gag. Not every teen gross-out comedy can be good as Animal House, and I hardly expect anyone making one these days to know the meaning of satire. It would just help if they knew the meaning of comedy.

Of course, if guys in dresses, dried cum stains and fake cockfights are all you need, then enjoy Sorority Boys and all its lack of creativity. I’ll admit to laughing one time when Harland Williams guesses the name of a particular gum flavor, but that’s all I was left to chew on. And that’s very little for a film that has no reason to churn on for nearly 110 painful minutes. (The movie could have started late or my watch might have been off – but it sure as hell felt like 110 minutes.) If you want slapstick drag comedy, rent Some Like It Hot. If you want the slapstick with social satire, buy Tootsie. If you just want the drag, then go see Sorority Boys. You may not get the chance to see a worse film this year.

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originally posted: 03/22/02 17:00:30
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User Comments

5/04/10 art AN EXCELLENT COMEDY! 4 stars
1/10/09 Monday Morning This is the last straw - I'm movin' to Tibet. 1 stars
8/05/07 ravenmad I laughed my ass off...plain ol' stupid humor 4 stars
7/31/07 Jeffrey Green Great movie!! Kept in the proper context, it's supposed to be silly!!!!!! 5 stars
1/14/07 Jeff Anderson Cheap, mean spirited(especially to women)& desperate. H. Matarazzo is the lone saving grace 1 stars
7/01/06 William Goss Right there with ya, Charles. Except I don't believe in God. 4 stars
10/03/04 KR A bad movie that made me laugh quite a bit. 3 stars
9/26/04 NJ Cup Winner 95-00-03 Charles, God stopped helping you decades ago, quite obviously 1 stars
5/05/04 Denise Duspiva Funny 5 stars
2/14/04 Charles Tatum God help me, I actually found a lot of it funny 4 stars
2/03/04 Mike p excruciating 1 stars
1/15/04 Samuel sucks...very much bad 2 stars
12/10/03 JD Great laughs, high rewatchability factor 5 stars
7/07/03 cinkcool get drunk with college freinds and watch it 5 stars
5/16/03 k it really wasnt that bad... i laughed 4 stars
3/27/03 Jen This movie was SUPPOSED to be silly and entertaining, which it was. 4 stars
1/02/03 Ray Not an Oscar caliber film, but you can't go wrong when you include the launching of dildos 4 stars
11/10/02 Mipchunk Not enough cowbell 1 stars
10/28/02 Uncle Salty How does something like this get made? It boggles the mind. Oh, and Aaron is a plant. 1 stars
9/10/02 Danielle Ophelia To suck any harder, you'd need a black hole the size of the entire space-time continuum. 1 stars
5/19/02 Chowie alright, the dildo fights were funny 3 stars
5/16/02 Allison Lafferty Ultimate chick-flick, whose sole raison-d'être is "guys are pigs" message. 1 stars
4/30/02 Aaron I thought the movie was extremely entertaining 4 stars
4/10/02 Veronica Foxx (The Raven-Haired Temptress) To suck any harder, you'd be Mariah Carey"convincing"studio execs "Glitter" was a good idea 1 stars
4/05/02 Scott Sumner If I had directed this, I'd be very glad that there wasn't a death penalty for this crime. 1 stars
3/31/02 Film Dude To suck any harder? That isn't fucking possible. 1 stars
3/30/02 Elron Cupboard Xenu! To suck any harder, you'd need John Travolta and a Post-Apocalyptic set!! 1 stars
3/25/02 Joe Deblow "It's like a wookies neeeeoooor neeeeoooor" It's just that bad. 1 stars
3/25/02 silver raven some funny parts, but i wouldnt see it again 3 stars
3/24/02 Bartholomew Q. Schmeckelstein Jesus H. Christ! To suck any harder, you'd need Kevin Costner and a Post-Apocalyptic set!! 1 stars
3/23/02 Shelley Smith Wow!! Isn't the poster with them in drag enough to turn you off!! 1 stars
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  22-Mar-2002 (R)



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