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Overall Rating

Awesome: 3.51%
Worth A Look: 5.26%
Average: 7.02%
Pretty Bad: 31.58%
Total Crap52.63%

5 reviews, 27 user ratings

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Bad Company (2002)
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by Scott Weinberg

"Bad Company is to Action Movies what Muzak is to actual Music."
1 stars

This movie not only has literally no cause for existence, but it’s a testament to how faceless, lazy and pathetic Hollywood movies can be.

Whenever you see a book or film that’s poking fun at Hollywood, there’s inevitably some fictional movie that everyone’s working on; one that displays such low-minded inspiration and devotion to pointless excess that it (of course) becomes a big hit. Halfway though Bad Company, I began to believe that this was one of those movies; that somehow a fictional conversation about Chris Rock and Anthony Hopkins starring together in a Bruckhemier action comedy became a reality, and now we the moviegoers are expected to make it a hit.

Score one for the moviegoers this time out.

Bad Company is of course SO bad and SO pointless and SO generic and SO contrived that any efforts on my part to catalog the sheer awfulness would undoubtedly be a monumental waste of my time and yours. Suffice to say that if Bad Company were some form of food product, it would be this slimy massive ball of detritus, one that’s coated with layer upon layer of foods long since dropped on the floor and left to fester under the fridge.

The plot is something the writers of "Simon and Simon" would have jettisoned for being too familiar: low-rent hustler must pose as his dead FBI agent brother and help a crafty old veteran to save the day…which leads me to wonder: precisely how many times does a consumer have to eat the same old crackers before they throw the box to the floor in disgust and DEMAND some goddam potato chips already? If there’s anything remotely unique, fresh, or compelling in Bad Company, please enlighten me as to where it was hiding.

Who’s to blame here? Take your pick:

Hopkins – Clearly whoring for money. Not since Michael Caine snubbed the Oscars to swim with Jaws: The Revenge has the “anything for a buck” mantra been more well-deserved.

Rock – As a talk-show host he does a bang-up job. As a stand-up comedian, he’s a modern master. As an actor, Chris Rock is the pinnacle of all things unprepared. He can’t find a mark, he can’t avoid staring at the camera, his non-punchline deliveries are completely out of whack and his punchline deliveries are static, weak, and ineffective. (Of course Rock gets no help from his screenwriters, who deliver some of the most atrocious one-liners seen since the days of turn-of-the-century vaudeville.)

Bruckheimer – Now, I’ve long been a supporter of Bruckheimer’s action flicks, but I doubt that even the producer’s mother could find something to love in this atrocious movie. The flick lumbers along as if it’s being paid by the minute; the action scenes (though suitably loud and frenetic) are jammed in seemingly at random – which could be forgiven were one of them even remotely silly or crazy or exciting. They’re not. I’ve heard recitations of the English alphabet delivered with more creativity than what’s on display in this astonishingly bad movie.

Joel Schumacher – Sure, this guy is every critic’s favorite whipping boy, but I have a sincere question. Schumacher’s obviously been around Hollywood for a while and clearly knows SOMETHING about filmmaking. What I wouldn’t give for an opportunity to screen Bad Company with Schumacher and scream my question repeatedly in his ear: Is this a quality movie – by ANY definition you choose to employ? If he says "Yes" with a straight face, I’ll know Joel’s a liar. He's made too many good movies to produce something this worthless.

The list could go on to include various screenwriters, Disney execs, script doctors, and agents, but the bottom line is simply this: Bad Company is a truly awful movie. Not awful in a “Oooh, this could be fun” kinda way, but in a “filmmakers who have a clear contempt for their audience” sort of way. If you consider paying for two hours worth of visual shit, by all means give this one a shot. Not even for fans of the two leads is this one worth a ten-minute cable-flip.

Whether it’s Hopkins or Rock you’re a fan of, Bad Company will do nothing more than lower your opinion of them. And that’s just sad.

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originally posted: 04/29/04 15:14:59
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User Comments

2/09/14 Charles Tatum Energetically directed, but even Hopkins looks bored; Rock is awful, as usual 2 stars
2/05/07 Abs Shocker.Film shot seriously, with Chris rock's lame oneliners ruining it's believability 2 stars
8/24/05 ES What the hell was Chris thinking? 1 stars
4/24/05 ye well...i thought it wuz pretty tight. 4 stars
4/18/05 Monday Morning This movie sucks, but it's not a good suck. 1 stars
2/21/05 Captain Craig Rock is way over his head with Hopkins. He should stick with Jackie Chann. Flawed 3 stars
3/07/04 Vince Waste of Hopkins' talent - overall pretty much pathetic 1 stars
1/08/04 A F I turned it on, then I went and looked up porn on the web. 1 stars
6/10/03 Jack Bourbon zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz 2 stars
4/08/03 Jack Sommersby The two leads are fun to watch, but the material is so fucking stale. 1 stars
11/24/02 Colin Selby Hopkins seems to have decided to do anything if the price is right.Drivel 1 stars
11/02/02 Josh I felt physically ill after watching this absolutely lame movie 1 stars
9/12/02 laron chapman so funny,it will crack you up 4 stars
9/10/02 John McNew A poorly done, rtread of ancient cliches and plot formula 1 stars
8/19/02 Mr. Hat (I'm Back!) The best part is the end, where they show something direly needed: Agent w/ a social life. 3 stars
8/15/02 Gary Woodhouse Typical Schumacher/Bruckheimer, what do you expect? Enjoyable action flick if you like them 4 stars
8/02/02 Tiffany Faye Hawthorne One of better post-cold-war spy flicks 5 stars
7/19/02 gary vidmar Chris Rock was his usual self--the master of comedy. i loved this movie! 5 stars
7/19/02 Dom Corleone I hate bruckheimer 2 stars
6/30/02 Dude Fuckhiemer turns everything he touches into liquid shit! 1 stars
6/25/02 Peckerneck Go see "The Best of the Chris Rock Show"... aaah...that's better.... 2 stars
6/18/02 The Chronic Mastubator Rock can NOT lead a film, and is there a more bizarre pairing than he and Hopkins. -------> 2 stars
6/15/02 malcolm not bad, in spite of Chris Rock 3 stars
6/12/02 Obi Wan Why is Fuckhiemer allowed to make shit like this, 60Secs, Coyote Ugly the list goes on!!!! 1 stars
6/08/02 MyztiQ i've seen worse, not as bad as EricDSnider says 3 stars
6/08/02 Jake Rock hasn't starred in anything decent. 1 stars
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  07-Jun-2002 (PG-13)

  12-Jul-2002 (12)

  18-Jul-2002 (M)

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