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Dracula Rising
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by Scott Weinberg

"Patch Adams has more to do with vampires than this crap does."
1 stars

The problem that low-budget filmmakers usually overlook when centering an entire movie around one soft-core sex scene: soft-core sex scenes generally run about 4 minutes.

That leaves about 75 minutes to fill, and if you’re gonna call your movie Dracula Rising - you better damn well have some vampires in it. More of a ‘Harlequin Light’ romance tale than any kind of a horror flick, Dracula Rising offers the most simplistic story imaginable:

Vampire meets girl and falls in love after realizing she’s the reincarnation of his long-dead love from 500 years ago. There’s the requisite evil vampire, who consistently places temptation in the path of our pathetically moral bloodsucker. Wedge in a whole lot of dream sequences, overbaked flashback scenarios, and exposition shots that run about 45 seconds longer than necessary, and you’ve got yourself one pathetic vampire movie! (And don’t forget that one sex scene somewhere right in the middle!)

This movie is more boring than it is bad. That Dracula Rising is perhaps the most boring movie I’ve ever seen, I’ll let you gauge how bad a film it truly is. The lead actors seem as if they’ve never seen a movie set, the production design is planted firmly in the ‘low-rent carnival spook house’ décor, and the screenplay is as pedantic as it is intermittent; no kidding here – the ‘silent’ moments of Dracula Rising make up about 52% of the film’s mercifully miniscule running time.

Christopher Atkins (yes, the blond guy from The Blue Lagoon and The Pirate Movie) plays “Vlad the Vampire” with a dedication to clueless gusto generally unseen outside high school productions of Death of a Salesman, while his lovely blonde co-star (Stacey Travis , last buoyant on TV’s shockingly unembraced Love Boat: The Next Wave) delivers a performance that’s certain to ensure her a career full of spatula infomercials and unwatcable direct-to-video turkeys...much like Dracula Rising.

Much like any film destined for non-stop repeat viewings on late-nigth Cinemax, Dracula Rising was not released theatrically, unless maybe it played two theaters in Wet Slap, Omaha. Nobody should ever need to see this movie. If you want horror, there are hundreds of better vampire epics; if you want sex, go get some pornography.

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originally posted: 07/09/02 11:17:51
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User Comments

7/09/02 Charles Tatum Scott is right, this is absolutely awful 1 stars
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  02-Mar-1993 (R)



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