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I watched this movie from beginning to end without getting up once…and I still couldn’t tell you what it’s about. The main characters are a gruff vampire named Zero (John Savage), an adventurous single mother (Starr Andreeff), an evil blonde vampire lady, an evil vampire midget, and a small child. These people bounce off one another, a few of them stopping long enough to suck some blood…then it’s off (once again) to a dimly-lit night club, where strippers parade their jugs and the vampires get some take-out.

It’s (relatively) clear towards the middle of the film that Zero is trying to protect mama Corri from becoming one of the tainted, but that plan goes to pot – and then everyone’s drinking up the gore together. Which brings me to the one thing that may be noteworthy in this otherwise drab horror flick: the sloppy gore. The bloodletting that goes on in Club Vampire may not have gore maestro Tom Savini quaking in his boots, but the few gruesome sequences were what kept me going throughout the entire 80-minute affair.

The obviously-desperate-for-cash and former dramatic movie star John Savage reluctantly sleepwalks through his performance here, and his presence is compelling more in a “car accident” way than in an actual “dramatic” way. (Someone get Mr. Savage a new agent and a new career, quick!) Starr Andreeff is suitably attractive for a Z-grade horror movie, but her screen presence explains why her resume is littered with titles like Ghoulies 2, Scanner Cop, and Amityville Dollhouse. Horror fans (and only the most devoted of John Savage’s fans) who love to mock a true cinematic turkey (ala Mysery Science Theater 3000) will find much to enjoy in Club Vampire. Those looking for a cohesive movie would do better by grabbing any movie at random and taking that one home instead.

DVD Info: The movie is presented in a Full Frame presentation and sound is delivered in Dolby Digital 2.0 Mono. Special features include some cast bios and trailers for Club Vampire, Blood Ties (a slasher flick about Father’s Day?), Night Hunter, and Vampirella.

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originally posted: 07/24/02 14:33:32
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