"Rare is the movie title that so aptly describes the experience of the film."
Looking like so much spillover from the Lifetime Channel's Estr-O-Gen Festival, Luis Mandoki's "Trapped" teases you with a few very brief glimmers of excitement and/or cleverness - only to have the whatever goodwill they promote instantly buried beneath 45 tons of pretense, artifice, unoriginal plot twists, and plain old shoddy storytelling.Kevin Bacon and Courtney Love kidnap the shining blond moppet belonging to Stuart Townsend and Charlize Theron. Bacon's cocksure kidnapper is more than confident that he'll get his ransom payment, as he loves to crow about how he's done this, like SOOOOO many times before.
Gotta hate a boastful kidnapper. Yet Bacon's overconfidence seems poorly-founded at best, considering his two accomplices are a strung out trailer park reject (that would be Love, as if you needed the clarification) and an overweight sicko perv, as played by Hollywood's favorite overweight sicko perv: Pruitt Taylor Vince.
So we got Bacon and Theron at the homestead with Love and Townsend in a hotel room. (Sicko perv is of course babysitting the blond moppet.) To say that an entire showroom full of arcane and wholly retarded plot divergences take place would be underestimating the case.
The best kidnapping flicks out there generally work because there's some real actual tension onscreen. In Trapped, very little seems to take place in a reality that any moviegoer might be familiar with. I've seen Road Runner cartoons with more respect for cohesion and the laws of physics.
Sure, yeah, it's always fun to see Kevin Bacon playing a lunatic (or NOT see in one particularly hollow case) and that Theron gal is a sexy blonde throwback to the Golden Age gals... although most of those old favorites could actually, well, act.
Trapped is recommendable only because it's so damn loopy. I'm half-convinced it's a very poker-faced comedy. Then again, I may be giving the filmmakers way too much credit.
The DVD offers two separate commentaries, one with director Luis Mandoki and the other with screenwriter Greg Iles. Frankly, the only person I could see listening to both of these tracks is the person who owns precisely one DVD: Trapped. There's also a 20-minute EPK featurette, complete with talking head interviews AND movie clips.And if by some stroke of insanity you feel the film has left you wanting more, feel free to check out the handful of deleted scenes.