I once spent an autumn working at a local ‘haunted house’. You know the sort: come Halloween time a few hardcore horror fans inhabit a local farm or store-front, fill the interiors with fake cobwebs and strobe lights and charge the customers to walk through while being screamed at by guys in Freddie Krueger masks. These attractions are usually backed by actual businessmen but those who work there are often hardcore goth types who wear fake tattoos of dragons, dress entirely in black, smell of smoke and discuss horror films with the effete snobbery usually reserved for pompous wine experts.Slashers consistently reminded me of that insufferable job, from the dank storeroom interiors and ridiculously amateurish performers to the overall sense of ‘desperate fanboy’ production values. Best described as ‘Survivor meets The Running Man by way of your local mall’s "Halloween Adventure" Shop’, Slashers represents low-grade horror machinations at their most confoundingly stupid.
Filmed on video (with one camera it seems), Slashers invites us to enjoy the newest TV sensation, a reality show in which six contestants are pitted against three iconic ‘slashers’ – The Preacher, Chainsaw Charlie and Dr. Ripper. Now, before you start thinking “Hey, a slasher version of The Running Man sounds pretty cool!”, it’s important to understand that this cheapie is about as boring as movies come – horror or otherwise.
Poor production values and painfully amateurish acting could ultimately be overlooked were there some form of wit or creativity going on but the large bulk of Slashers is dedicated to nothing but poorly delivered yap. For a movie that seems to promise lots of gooey jolts, you’d be stunned to see how much aimless dialogue is flung about.
It pains me to knock any horror film backed by the superlative Fangoria Magazine but I’m absolutely stunned to see the publication’s moniker attached to this bargain-basement dreck. Hardcore horror fans will undoubtedly be bored and though the handful of kill scenes are presented in admirably goopy style, the makeup effects are so shoddy that they’re more likely to incite peals of incredulous laughter than gasps of fear.
I’d like to let Slashers off the hook as a fiscally challenged experiment but it’s more an obnoxious rip-off than anything else.Fangoria should know better than to attach their name to feature-length ‘fan films’ like this.