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Overall Rating
2.71

Awesome: 21.43%
Worth A Look: 0%
Average: 21.43%
Pretty Bad42.86%
Total Crap: 14.29%

1 review, 8 user ratings


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Stakes
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by Scott Weinberg

"Blade + The Matrix - a budget = Stakes"
2 stars

If Stakes looks a whole lot like something slapped together by a bunch of barbecue buddies and cubicle co-workers, that’s because it probably is.

Presented by the filmmakers responsible for the equally inept Harvesters and displaying some of the most hilarious overacting ever achieved, Stakes tells the tale of a crew of vampire hunters who’ve broken through from their own dimension. Arrived on Earth to rid our world of an escaped bloodsucker plague are a scientist, a high-tech electronics wiz and a goofy priest.

The villains are a rabid ‘pureblood’ vampire queen and her two bodyguards (one big beefy guy and an Amazon with breasts so large they defy explanation) and the trio seems to have a ball chomping through the buffet that is big-city America. In true Masters of the Universe style, the newcomers team with a few equally clueless earthlings and follow the trail of exsanguinated corpses.

Now, if this premise were backed with an adequate budget, some seasoned filmmakers and a crew of actors able to contribute something more than vacant stares, we might actually have something. As it stands, Stakes is the lowest sort of low-rent ‘home video’ moviemaking. I’m sure there are some out there who enjoy this sort of ‘amateur hour’ in precisely the same way ‘enjoys’ a good street brawl - but it’s tough to find much legitimate entertainment value in a production of such subpar quality.

If you’re going to make a movie using only your close friends and a few maxed-out credit cards, you better make damn sure there’s something noteworthy to camouflage the flea-market sensibilities. Stakes offers no such benefit and the result is a movie that may fascinate you in a “Oh dear god is this bad” sort of way, though that’s all you’ll get.

I give it two stars thanks to those bizarrely huge breasts, a few cool moments of sloppy gore, and the audacious way the camera keeps rolling no matter how 'off' the line readings are. Ed Wood would be proud.

link directly to this review at http://www.efilmcritic.com/review.php?movie=6311&reviewer=128
originally posted: 12/06/02 04:30:40
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User Comments

10/30/06 dan jensen bad acting. good breat shots 3 stars
8/06/05 Scott Ritchey Great B Horror Film 5 stars
1/15/05 Hawkeye Pierce No a good flick, but you can see cast/crew enyoyed themselves, that's what counts. 3 stars
8/12/03 Rick Figard I love horror movies. I especially love horror movies with vampires but this was awful!! 1 stars
2/02/03 DB Needed Asira Zimra and Leanna Chamish to be nude. Then may be worth watching. 1 stars
1/18/03 Hope Richter it was great and gory 5 stars
12/10/02 D Decent Indie effort.Indie guys should hire a writer.Had great potential,even with no budget 3 stars
12/04/02 Dave Crawley These guys busted their ass...no Oscar here, but a great indie film! 5 stars
IF YOU'VE SEEN THIS FILM, RATE IT!
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USA
  02-Sep-2002 (R)

UK
  N/A

Australia
  N/A


Directed by
  Joe Ripple

Written by
  Joe Ripple

Cast
  Jamie Bell
  Geroge Stover
  Steven King
  Erin J. Corsair
  Ashira Zimra
  Leanna Chamish



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