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Overall Rating

Awesome: 13.25%
Worth A Look25.64%
Average: 20.51%
Pretty Bad: 20.51%
Total Crap: 20.09%

8 reviews, 186 user ratings

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Die Another Day
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by Erik Childress

"Bond May...But Will I Be There To See It?"
2 stars

As I walked out of the theater with Madonna’s theme song reprising over the end credits, my friend turned to me and said, “like they could have remixed this song any further.” I thanked him for that comment as it perfectly encapsulated what Die Another Day is to the Bond series. It’s a stale, overused cocktail using the same olives since 1962 as garnish. Not only is entry number twenty the worst of the Brosnan bunch, it’s one of the worst of the entire franchise.

Even Bond himself barely survives the wretched Madonna song that opens the film in probably the one original take on the series the film has. After the standard issued action prologue, Bond is captured and submitted to 14 months of torture in South Korea. When the British government negotiates his release in a trade for henchman Zao (Rick Yune), Bond seeks revenge on the player to be named later who betrayed him despite opposition from his superiors.

Bond hooks up with Jinx (Halle Berry) and shags her, before realizing she’s (surprise) an American agent under the employment of Damian Falco (Michael Madsen, either filling out his MGM contract after Species or doing a favor for his Mulholland Falls director, Lee Tamahori.) After about an hour, we finally meet the man who may be Bond’s mark, the notoriously bland Gustav Graves (Toby Stephens) who looks like Conan O’Brien’s evil twin and doesn’t even come close to being a worthy adversary. His Hamlet-like fencing match with Bond is as ridiculous as they come and should have signaled to his handlers that this multi-millionaire is more than a bit whacked.

I’ve read some articles where other critics have complained that the new Bond is nothing but explosions and absent of anything involving character development. Are they kidding me? Hasn’t that what the Bond series has always been about? Has James Bond really developed over the course of 40 years? He never seems to even have any knowledge of his previous missions or ladyfriends. But that’s what we expect out of Bond by now. For better or worse, we come to see things blow up good, scoff at the double entendres (which were funny back when they were getting around the ratings code) and watch Bond score. But any filmmaker can blow something up; it takes a little more to make it exciting.

There is action abundant to be sure and most of it isn’t bad, if not terribly adrenaline-pumping, but poor special effects don’t help. Remember the days when Bond directors actually had to invent and carry out new stunts without the use of a computer? During an extended escape sequence, Bond jumps into an ice speed glider and hightails it away from Graves’ ice palace. Not only can you see the string pulling the glider in one shot, but the moment when he flies off the edge of the glacier is one of the worst individual effects moments I’ve seen in about ten years. And just to add insult to other insults, it continues with Bond parasurfing through the melted remains (thanks to Graves’ sunray weapon) and dodging icebergs in a sequence that looks worse than a video game.

As if I needed anything else to disengage me further from the film, the script by returning scribes Neil Purvis & Robert Wade (The World Is Not Enough) reaches new levels of absurdity. Zao’s face is embedded with diamonds thanks to Bond exploding them into him and while it’s the perfect visual representation of a Bond villain, how come he couldn’t get them removed sooner (and wouldn’t they have to be removed before the DNA surgery he was about to undergo?) Why do Zao and Graves act like homosexuals around each other? And speaking of appearances, why do they make Graves look like the android from Eliminators playing Nintendo GameGlove by the end? How was the villain able to build a satellite system to harness the sunrays? Who funded it? How come the intelligence agencies around the world didn’t stop it? Then again, how come the intelligence agency weren’t aware of Graves’ assistant, Miranda Frost (Rosamund Pike) being on the fencing team? Why with all the gadgets in the world would Bond be sent on a Defcon 2 mission (and how did we get to Defcon 2 so fast?) with only fence clippers to cut his way through? Why is the word “demilitarized” sometimes spelled with a “s” instead of a “z”?

These are not questions one should be asking during a James Bond adventure and maybe it was all I could do to take my mind off of how God-awful Halle Berry is. Nice that she chose to play a Bond girl after winning the Oscar “for all the black women.” With an ego bigger than the combined size of her tits, Berry is actually pushing for a spinoff of her character. Other than introducing “your mama” and “read this...bitch” to the series, there’s nothing for her to possibly offer. Rosamund Pike has two brief scenes with Bond (before bedding him down) that probably last less than a minute combined and proves that her chemistry with Brosnan could have been enough to fuel past the familiar. Berry has nothing except a place to stick the pump.

Adding homages in honor of movie Bond’s 40th anniversary is a swell idea but smack of desperation in an already dry well of ideas. Berry’s Dr. No entrance, From Russia With Love shoes and Goldfinger lasers (again, an “s” or a “z”?) aren’t nearly enough to keep Bond moving into the next generation. Ironically, only the addition of John Cleese (who couldn’t be more perfect to fulfill the role of “Q”) is keeping the Bond series grounded enough to separate itself from the constant lampooning of the Austin Powers’ of the world.

Brosnan has signed on for at least one more go around as Bond. I only pray that a big name director steps up to the plate to put their staple on at least one film. If there’s so much respect for the character and his movies beyond its cash cow value, then why can’t MGM snag James Cameron, John Woo (if he can cut down on the slow motion) or even Kathryn Bigelow (to offer a woman’s touch along with some hardcore action?) Bond may live to die another day, but it may take some fresh (and good) writers and a solid, established director to forget about the $$$$$’s before the franchise settles into nothing but ZZZZZ’s.

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originally posted: 11/22/02 11:19:58
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User Comments

2/13/17 morris campbell good bond action halle is hot 4 stars
10/10/14 David M. Lighten up, people. This film had everything. camp and true drama 5 stars
11/18/12 Nadeem Ahmad It was among the worst of films about Bond, if the the worst. Halle Berry was too rash. 1 stars
8/27/12 Eyeam a Samurai Silly like all JB but joyless, series strengths like music/stunts/humour all fail here 1 stars
7/03/10 Drew Pickles Fun movie,worth a look. Cool story and very cool two faced bad guys. 4 stars
8/30/09 Jeff Wilder Stylistically too close to Michael Bay territory. 2 stars
12/26/08 Ed Teague I liked this better when it was Diamonds Are Forever 2 stars
11/10/08 Mark Gibson No great, it tried to mess with your opinian of bond but ended up failing. bad cgi too 2 stars
11/09/08 The Dork Knight scene-stealing bad guys save this unholy mess 2 stars
11/03/08 Shaun Wallner Intense Action! 4 stars
7/30/08 chris f the worst bond movie ever made 1 stars
5/18/08 Joe I like 5 stars
9/01/07 johnnyfog Sickeningly excessive and ridiculous. But I liked the cool villain. 3 stars
6/14/07 David Graham Forgive the CGI & you have a decent enough bond film & Brosnan at his final best. 4 stars
5/08/07 JM Synth Overblown to an extreme degree, but more fun than previous Brosnan Bonds 3 stars
4/20/07 bbl Worst Bond film ever, made worse by Halle Barry. My god she is an awful actress. 1 stars
4/19/07 Stevo UK Brosnan is a complete Puff. They should give him a velvet shirt and pom-poms. 2 stars
3/03/07 Joe Morris A lot of fun, what more do you want? 4 stars
2/16/07 Vip Ebriega Live to Die Another Day, and to watch this terrific 007 movie. 4 stars
2/16/07 johnnyfog I liked the villain, he was cool. Othewise, total bullshit 2 stars
2/08/07 Andre urbani i cant beleive i payed to watch this - utter shit 1 stars
2/08/07 Matt Not the best, but perfectly acceptable 21st century version of 007. 4 stars
2/02/07 laboo whoever said this sucks is a dirtbag 5 stars
12/15/06 BrianDePalma Cinematic equivalent of toxic waste 1 stars
12/12/06 The Deadly Assasin Owes more to Marvel Comics than Ian Fleming...the new "Casino Royale" is a Godsend !!! 3 stars
11/07/06 William Goss A lot of fun, which is not to say that I wouldn't mind a grittier, back-to-basics Bond. 4 stars
11/04/06 Tony Myers Halle Berry drags this one into the toilet. The theme song blows, too. 1 stars
8/19/06 Beau My Favourite bond movie, on-going action that keeps you entertained until the end! 4 stars
7/18/06 inty crazy bond flick 4 stars
7/12/06 Anthony Feor It's not the best Bond, but it's worth a look 4 stars
6/20/06 Zachary Worland Its exellent 5 stars
6/06/06 paula da best 5 stars
5/03/06 mamoosh Great fun and the new bond is a doosh 4 stars
4/18/06 P toya I liked the sword fight. Early Connery still untouchable 3 stars
4/07/06 R.W.Welch Another futile attempt to revive an exhausted franchise. 3 stars
4/02/06 poo Its good 5 stars
3/13/06 date movie sucks great 4 stars
2/11/06 Mack THE GOOD ONE 4 stars
2/06/06 Craig Not a bad Bond 4 stars
1/03/06 Anthony Feor Could be one of the best James Bond movies ever! 4 stars
11/21/05 chris not the best bond movie ive seen 3 stars
10/18/05 tony A GREAT ONE! 4 stars
10/13/05 Wisamane Sad ending with brosman, i heard The next actor will be a blonde LOL!! 1 stars
10/02/05 BONDIE THE BEST! 4 stars
9/11/05 matt just painful 1 stars
9/09/05 R.W. Welch More evidence that this property has been mined out. 2 stars
9/01/05 ES The beginning started out great with 007 as captured spy gone renegade, but goes bad quick 2 stars
8/26/05 Ca-Dizzle I was expecting good things after the previous 3 bond movies but this just sucks 2 stars
8/26/05 Eden Incredibly stupid, shallow mess. Will make u physically ill 1 stars
8/22/05 John Bale After 40 years 007 keeps marching on. Predictable but fun. 4 stars
7/20/05 Chris Horrible Bond movie 1 stars
5/27/05 tony Brosnans last. Thats why it was so good. Dispite the scenes of action. a very good film 5 stars
2/06/05 Tom Benton It just doesn't feel like James Bond anymore ... Brosnan saves the movie ... 3 stars
1/08/05 keithers.. A decent Bond film....baaad ending 3 stars
12/18/04 Matt F. Absolutely the worst Bond ever, even worse than Moonraker 1 stars
11/05/04 kyle sopper dopper 5 stars
9/22/04 Shinealight Shit as Bond 1 stars
8/18/04 Destroy This Movie Worst Bond Movie Ever 2 stars
7/30/04 nagendra not enough 3 stars
5/31/04 Nobody Wasn't as good as others, North Koreans do make good villains though 3 stars
5/25/04 C Vega probably the worst bond movie as the franchise has become too commercial as this film shows 2 stars
5/08/04 Littlepurch Well I liked it but even that didn't stop me realising that this is just NOT a good film! 3 stars
4/24/04 ranger4e not the best Bond movie 3 stars
4/20/04 tatum Ballsy attempt to be different 4 stars
4/19/04 JoJo As far as Bond goes, it's bad. As far as movies go, it's bad. 2 stars
4/07/04 Sig GOD! Why cant they make "Agent Under Fire" and/or "Everything or Nothing" into films?!!!!!! 2 stars
4/03/04 Silvey Grover If you like Bond you'll love it, if you don't you won't 4 stars
3/09/04 Mr_Blue Finally AGAIN a good Bond Movie, has been a while 4 stars
3/02/04 Margie Too much innuendo, not enough wit. John Cleese is funny; I'm glad he's R and not another Q. 2 stars
2/04/04 Chris I not a Bond fan but this one was very enjoyable and fun. See it. 4 stars
1/02/04 Claudia Halle takes advantage of her attractiveness, by getting easy acting jobs like playing a ho. 1 stars
12/05/03 Ray I didnt like it 2 stars
11/29/03 john "No Mr Bond I expect you to die", said Goldfinger-he gets his wish-the series is dead 1 stars
11/21/03 rony this time i only watched it for HALLE BERRY!!! you go gurl. im rating awesome for berry 5 stars
8/02/03 Stefan Halka Finally a good film from Pierce Brosnan. Halle looks like a dike with her hair that short. 4 stars
7/26/03 nr GREAT I LOVED IT 5 stars
7/06/03 Paul S. Good bits: Miranda, sword fight, cat fight (although I wanted Jinx to lose), torture seq. 4 stars
6/30/03 James Awful - relying on computer graphics way too much...could not get more far-fetched. 2 stars
6/26/03 cochese I will reitterate what others have said already-Halle Berry is NOT attractive, fuckable yes 2 stars
6/21/03 robsv "Madonna has a speaking part" = "SUCKS" 1 stars
6/14/03 Jacob I agree, Halle is ugly like hell. She should had been the baddie instead. 3 stars
6/12/03 David Who writes this tripe? Please! Looks like they've piched from Austin Powers( nice "Laser") 1 stars
6/07/03 jocke i think it is very good 5 stars
6/05/03 J.J Okay movie. Halle Berry is the ugliest bond girl ever. 3 stars
5/18/03 djacosta Worst than a cheap video game 1 stars
5/18/03 djacosta Can I give it less than one star? 1 stars
5/03/03 Fishchicken It's only a movie 4 stars
4/04/03 Marcia Lartz Best Bond in a while. Plot driven, so don't expect acting to be the star. 5 stars
3/17/03 Peter Worth looking at cause it's a Bond movie. Other than that, too much BS(invisible cars?) 3 stars
3/14/03 What?! halle berry should had been the dead bad girl instead. 2 stars
3/08/03 Ayo Odumuye this movie was horrible!!! 1 stars
2/24/03 oo7 minus 6 good fun. - what would you prefer, xxx ??? ( triple 'gay' is more like it !) 4 stars
2/18/03 Fosse Halle Berry sucks, Rosamund Pike out-shadows her 2 stars
2/06/03 Pako you should all fucking die................BOND IS THE MAN 5 stars
2/06/03 123 Bond,bond,bond, dont you think you have enough of him?!?!? 3 stars
1/26/03 Connoisseur best Bond since GoldenEye 4 stars
1/22/03 Alex Flynn I went to the bathroom during Maddona's opening song. I just couldn't stand to listen to it 1 stars
1/22/03 Angolmois Laughable, more shallow than normal, and the special effects suck. 1 stars
1/16/03 Petros The women took over the movie - get a grip Bond! 3 stars
1/14/03 Christa Boring as hell. 1 stars
1/11/03 Butterbean Was too fucking long. 3 stars
1/09/03 TIMMAY! What The Hell is wrong with all u pricks that say it sux?? This movie fuking rools!!! 5 stars
1/06/03 blah Halle Berry is the worst bond chick ever! 3 stars
1/03/03 . Unbeleivable how ppl underrate it, this one rules again! 5 stars
1/01/03 The Collector WORST EPISODE EVER 1 stars
1/01/03 Shardul Die Another day sucks ! 1 stars
12/31/02 Brooks Sad attempt to focus on juvenile audience. 007 deserves better 2 stars
12/28/02 Matt and Rob James Bond is gay 1 stars
12/27/02 Stryper Rocks Impossible scenarios, but entertaining....Halle Berry kicked some butt, give her an Oscar 4 stars
12/27/02 Markus Another example how computer graphics is abused for totally stupid scenes. 2 stars
12/24/02 Tim I think they may have run out of ideas. 2 stars
12/23/02 Da Kenwa I gave up after 20 mins and snook into the 2 towers instead :D 2 stars
12/23/02 Jake Halle Berry ruined the movie, she's hideous and untalented. 1 stars
12/22/02 malcolm pretty much the same old Bond formula, w/a couple of nifty twists 3 stars
12/21/02 Tiffany I absolutely hated it. 1 stars
12/21/02 Scaramanga Halle Berry sucks 3 stars
12/19/02 Uncle Salty Maybe next time we don't need a new film, rehash old scenes, plots, girls, & villans AGAIN! 1 stars
12/19/02 Melina follows the bond formula, girls+outrageous action+wierd bad guys+girls 3 stars
12/17/02 CDWangs Miranda Frost (Rosamund Pike) is the hottest bond girl ever! 4 stars
12/16/02 Slayer It was shite the old bond films will always be the best 1 stars
12/15/02 viking Not bad, but this one owes more to Marvel Comics then Ian Fleming 4 stars
12/15/02 spacecowboy-00x I'm a die hard fan of the Bond...and this is the stuff! :D 5 stars
12/14/02 Matthew Smith exhilarating from start to finish 4 stars
12/13/02 Mark Milotay It Makes O.H.M.S.S. look good 1 stars
12/13/02 Lord of the Flames Oh dear, bring back Timothy Dalton, no serisouly, please! This was cack all over, 3rd worst 2 stars
12/13/02 cpbjr how about a decent Bond movie for a change? 3 stars
12/13/02 Nigel Smallfawcett Bless the Broccolis, but this one is barely, just barely above "A View To A Kill"... 1 stars
12/12/02 Kent Walker Best Bond Movie to date. I loved the plot twists 5 stars
12/12/02 chris this is so so so sad!!! 1 stars
12/11/02 mark This Bond Movie is average 3 stars
12/11/02 Vince CGI + Bond = what the fuck is this bullshit? 2 stars
12/10/02 Mr Fester "Do you expect me to act?" "No, Madonna, I expect you to suck." 3 stars
12/10/02 Andrew Kang To Erik: NORTH Korea tortures Bond, not SOUTH Korea. Your writing is very misogynistic. 3 stars
12/10/02 ^ZuLu^ Just a simple action flick named 007. Nobody beats Connery as Bond. But the car's cool! 3 stars
12/08/02 Michael Flynn The best Bond since "Goldeneye", it ranks up with "Goldfinger" and "Live and Let Die" 5 stars
12/06/02 Film Afficianado Worst, recycled Bond ever. Awful FX. Not really a Bond flick either. 1 stars
12/06/02 Interrog8 It was good, but completely implausible, which kept it from being great. 4 stars
12/06/02 Just a fan don't like it, don't watch it... morons.... 4 stars
12/04/02 Fonq35 At least it wasn't xXx 3 stars
12/04/02 Beotch Pretty bad 2 stars
12/04/02 Christyman Jinx slaps Bond on the ass in this version (metaphorically). And there's chemistry there. 4 stars
12/04/02 Nate This sucks ass, the worst bond ever 1 stars
12/04/02 White Bread Finally a good Bond picture. It's been a while. 4 stars
12/03/02 OnGeboren It's just a james bond movie! Action! 4 stars
12/03/02 gyro_44 Lots of fun; hints of Connery-era Bond too, which is great 4 stars
12/03/02 Dustin Worst Bond Ever. I had a nag list a mile long after watching this POS recycled crap. 2 stars
12/03/02 Tamala It was not unbearable but...I didn't really like it. 2 stars
12/02/02 Mister Char i liked it, lots of allusions to previous bond films, and lots of fun 5 stars
12/02/02 dread Modern Bond = Hollow Bond, Connery Bond = Classy Bond 2 stars
12/02/02 grovel Starting a helicopter in midair is as impossible and originial as making a car invisible. 2 stars
11/29/02 Smiff Disappointing (compare GoldenEye), but good crowd pleaser. (rushed?) 3 stars
11/29/02 Uncle Salty Prepackaged, Oversold, Recycled, Overdone, Explosions, Ads... James Bond IS dead. 1 stars
11/28/02 Princess Diana With those dumb-ass questions, you probably didn't even "get" the movie. 4 stars
11/28/02 KG Pretty OK. Berry pimps Brosnan. Deal with it white boys! 4 stars
11/27/02 Erik Blows Cock Cant take a review seriously when the reviwer is so ignorant,pick up a dictionary you moron 4 stars
11/27/02 Jeff so much corny jokes and bad scripting, so little plot and good animation 1 stars
11/27/02 badgersarseUK A bit long and very far fetched but it's a bond film and it delivers what we expect. 4 stars
11/27/02 djacosta It hurts my intelligence 1 stars
11/26/02 spaceworm Most exciting new Bond film since Live and Let Die (I was thirteen) 5 stars
11/26/02 A note on spelling "Laser" is an acronym and always spelled with "s." In "demilitarise," "s" is UK, "z" is US. 4 stars
11/26/02 Flounder Smelled worse than Joe Starks body odor! 1 stars
11/26/02 Str8Dog big explosions, big boobs and big lack of plot. 4 stars
11/26/02 Bulldog You ask a lot of dumb questions that can be answered by paying better attention.. 4 stars
11/26/02 "Yes the shit." Something for everyone and one hell of a body count. 4 stars
11/26/02 Stephen Lodge 007 Good, not great. Special effects are crap! 4 stars
11/26/02 Butterbean Like a game, you expect the formula, but you are dying to see the details 4 stars
11/25/02 sean gothman typical bond 4 stars
11/25/02 bullit17 Improbable ... impossible ... classic Bond. 4 stars
11/25/02 SS Thoroughly enjoyed the movie. Beats XXX hands down. 5 stars
11/24/02 ajay ug.. I'm so sick of the same shitty Bond movies. Evil guy + "lazer" = redundent nonsense. 1 stars
11/24/02 Yuri The best one yet 5 stars
11/24/02 asdf The opening sequence takes place in NOrth Korea, not the South. Please, do some reasearch. 4 stars
11/24/02 FrayLo Don't think too hard about action movies, you'll get a headache. Just enjoy it... 5 stars
11/24/02 Adam best Pierce Brosnan 5 stars
11/24/02 noisey30 Opening song was cool. All around great. 5 stars
11/24/02 Rambin Wreck What a great Bond movie! I had a blast. 5 stars
11/23/02 asina A guilty pleasure, like all Bond films. I fucking LOVED it! 5 stars
11/23/02 Jiz Berry can't act, Madonna's theme song blew cock. Other than that, cool movie. 4 stars
11/23/02 Crunchyfrog Light Amplification by Stimulated Emission of Radiation (laser, dumbass) 5 stars
11/23/02 Jarrod_101 Pushed the limits of how far fetched a bond flick can be, still good though. 4 stars
11/23/02 nick2k i liked it. i hate the new thunderbirds though. 5 stars
11/23/02 Croweater You ignornat fucking idiot Eric! Not all spelling is americani'z'ed! Look in the dictionary 5 stars
11/22/02 Superdave Erik, you just don't get it do you? DAD is Brosnon's best (at least tied with Goldeneye) 5 stars
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  22-Nov-2002 (PG-13)



Directed by
  Lee Tamahori

Written by
  Neal Purvis
  Robert Wade

  Pierce Brosnan
  Halle Berry
  Rick Yune
  John Cleese
  Judi Dench
  Michael Madsen

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