"Precisely as engrossing as a movie entitled THEY could ever possibly be."
I've seen "They" twice now, once theatrically and once via DVD, and...for the life of me...I can't tell you what it's about.All I can remember is a prologue in which a small child gets pulled under his bed, followed by about 75 minutes of bad actors breathlessly worrying about "night terrors". And also that it sucked.
The handy-dandy DVD case, which includes a quote from the New York Daily News that says "One of the most terrifying endings in recent memory!" and of course a mention from Earl Dittman stating "Terror-Filled... A Must See!", tells us two things:
1. "Scream king Wes Craven presents this terrifying suspense thriller where the most frightening childhood fears become real when they return to return to stake their claim!"
2. You can find a positive blurb on any godawful flick that comes down the pike.
The plot seems to be about this grad student psychologist who gets sucked into a whole big mess involving eeeevil childhood fears that have come back to haunt a few associates. Basically it's a limp reworking of stuff like Final Destination...as if that's the sort of movie we need reworkings of.
Proving once again that anything with the banner "Wes Craven Presents..." is bound to be nigh unwatchable dreck, They comes courtesy of a filmmaker who's really off his game. After sitting through this yawn-inducing claptrap, you'd be stunned to learn that it was helmed by the same chap who directed The Hitcher.
The faceless actors look bored with the proceedings, the plot derails with alarming consistency, and all thoughts of "When's this gonna get good?" are quickly replaced by feelings of "Ugh. Rooked again by a swanky piece of cover art." They represents what one hopes is the last of the Dawson's Creek Horror Movies in its final death throes.
Yet another wheezing example of what a blockbuster like Scream will yield (for several successive years, no less), They might prove a passable time-waster if you're trying to entertain a room full of 12-year-old girls, wide-eyed kids who only think they want to watch a truly scary movie, but for anyone other than that, it's an 83-minute sleeping pill.What the world needs now is a lot less PG-13 horror movies.