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Overall Rating
2.51

Awesome: 7.86%
Worth A Look: 10.71%
Average: 27.86%
Pretty Bad32.14%
Total Crap: 21.43%

7 reviews, 98 user ratings


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Star Trek: Nemesis
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by EricDSnider

"Let it go, folks. Just let it go."
2 stars

"Star Trek -- Episode X: Attack of the Clones," a dull and witless movie, will be the final nail in the coffin of this battered, rancid franchise. It boldly goes where every "Star Trek" film has already gone, and then has the gall to think we're going to like it anyway. This movie should be slapped.

The central conflict concerns one Shinzon (Tom Hardy), a member of the Reman slave race who has somehow managed to take control of the government of the slavers, the Romulans. (I say he did this "somehow"; in truth, it is because he killed the Romulan senate, a move whose political benefits are not immediately apparent to me.)

The trouble with Shinzon is that he is a clone of Capt. Jean-Luc Picard (Patrick Stewart), and needs Picard's blood to stay alive for reasons which the movie told me about when I wasn't paying attention. As a result, he is constantly pestering the Enterprise and its crew of freaks, which is especially vexing at this juncture, when Commander Riker (Jonathan Frakes) and Counselor Deanna Troi (Marina Sirtis) have just gotten married and want to settle down into a quiet life of being boring characters who are now married to each other. For some reason, the movie even includes a sex scene between those two, a fact for which it must be held accountable.

But back to Shinzon. Aside from being a nuisance and wanting to know all about his sort-of brother Jean-Luc, he also wants to destroy the Earth and the Federation, though I don't remember why. The movie probably mentioned it, but I was still in a state of shock after the aforementioned menage a Troi.

Also, the movie introduces us to B-4, Data's "brother," in that he was created by the same evil scientist, or whoever the hell created Data. He and Data (Brent Spiner) are exact duplicates of each other, even down to the caked-on makeup that gathers in the eyebrows.

Speaking of clones, has anyone ever seen Marina Sirtis and Patti LuPone in the same room? I spent half the film thinking it WAS Patti LuPone, and trying to remember if she had played Troi on the TV series as well, and wondering why Data sang a song at the wedding reception when Patti LuPone was sitting right there. Now I feel dumb, though I still wonder why the hell Data was singing a song at the wedding reception when there were several starfleet crew members sitting right there with the weapons necessary to stop him.

There is an abundance of forced humor in the film, and a lot of pandering to "Star Trek" geeks. Pander hard, "Nemesis." You have five days, and then "The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers" opens and blows you into the cosmos.

link directly to this review at http://www.efilmcritic.com/review.php?movie=6455&reviewer=247
originally posted: 12/14/02 19:42:12
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User Comments

11/17/10 chris walsh **** awsome 5 stars
9/09/09 Nice one Berman Not for die-hard fans either- Holy Mother Of God it was awful! Not kidding. 1 stars
5/17/09 Sam Like Picard/Data fanfiction in cinematic form. Beware of vampire Romulans. 2 stars
10/18/08 PAUL SHORTT FLAT, UNEVENTFUL AND DULL 1 stars
7/08/08 Kang The android twins look like they were left by the warp core too long and have begun to melt 1 stars
5/26/08 Admiral Hornblower Patrick kept this one out of the drink... barely. 3 stars
1/23/08 V Cheaply ritten rehash of Star trek 2 with low budget FX worthy of Babylon 5.not the worst. 2 stars
12/16/07 Jason Typical star trek-BORING! Some good fight scenes. 2 stars
2/08/07 Gorgonzilla Not as bad as Insurrection. But still a horribly missed opportunity. 2 stars
8/21/06 Indrid Cold WTF??!! The movies are no bigger or more exciting than a typical episode of the show. 3 stars
3/26/06 ScottM The premise makes no sense. How does a slave build a hyperadvanced starship undetected? 2 stars
8/18/05 ES What ever happened to Q? 1 stars
6/12/05 Gecko Fanfoot Stuart Baird— YOU TOTALLY SUCK! Stay away from Trek! 2 stars
6/08/05 Drew Peltier A poor way to end the series 3 stars
5/18/05 Pippin007 Stars Wars is better. 2 stars
9/18/04 Jeff Wilder Badly written and cliched. 2 stars
8/02/04 P.Rodriguez Scott W. Is right on the money. 2 stars
4/24/04 Easter Lemming Only A Few Moments Prevent This From Being Total Crap 2 stars
1/22/04 Abe Giesbrecht Great 4 stars
12/14/03 Eric Boring and contrived, almost every facet of the plot is just to set up Data's death. 2 stars
11/17/03 Sanzai I liked it a lot, but I'm biased. Can't say what a non-fan would think.... 5 stars
9/19/03 Jim The big space battle makes it worthwhile 4 stars
7/13/03 3man I just hope they don't pimp out another Trek movie. 3 stars
7/11/03 Steve Watched after another better movie- didn't help! 2 stars
7/06/03 flip I can't believe they killed Data...... 3 stars
6/17/03 Gil Carlson Pathetic, lifeless drek and what's with those dune buggies? 1 stars
6/14/03 Jim Slade Tired rehash - Intended to those who will watch anything "Star Trek" 1 stars
6/06/03 Devin Rice It has two sides, one new and the other that has been used many times but maybe the best 5 stars
6/01/03 Rod Baird, while a competent director was not familiar enough with the characters. 2 stars
5/24/03 Gecko Fanfoot Every bit as bad as Star Trek V...no, IT'S WORSE! 1 stars
5/22/03 Charles Tatum Above average effects and look lift awkward opening half hour 4 stars
4/19/03 Ubu the Ripper Unbelievably bad. This, unfortunately, was the franchise buster. Bring back Kirk! 1 stars
3/18/03 Mike IT sucks 2 stars
3/18/03 Stas Luban Nemesis has less plot than All My Children, and is a video game on big screen 1 stars
3/16/03 Cameron Slick the worst of the even numbered treks, but still quite a good premise and a cool climax 4 stars
3/13/03 Valerie Cameron Far far from the best of Star Trek movies. Takes so long to get going you hardly care. 2 stars
2/19/03 Matthew Jones Data dies, and the crew separates. And when the FUCK're they gonna make Picard an Admiral? 3 stars
2/12/03 alien assassin Not bad, but the entire concept is way past it's use by date. 3 stars
2/12/03 Dasboot A middle-ground Trek film that has its good points but suffers from some bad ones 3 stars
2/11/03 spacecowboy MAN, WTF!?!?!? and wtf did that Data dude die! MAN, WTF 3 stars
1/27/03 STEVE DIE STAR TREK DIE!! HAHAHAHAHEHEHEHEHPHOHOHOHE...I SAID DIE!!!NOW!DIE HEHEHEHHEHEHEHEHEHHEH 1 stars
1/21/03 Eric Better than Insurrection, hardly the thrill ride that is First Contact. 3 stars
1/18/03 Colin Selby WHAT A SMOULDERING PILE OF POO.DON'T CALL US 1 stars
1/18/03 Nate This sucks, far too many errors 1 stars
1/17/03 Katub Trek X is a stinkfest of the highest order, and I'm being nice! 1 stars
1/14/03 snowconehead this movie is the epitome of the word "eh" 4 stars
1/13/03 Vitality1 Cheesy, but what ST movie isnt? Plus, has a Wesley Crusher cameo and Shinzon is yummy 4 stars
1/12/03 Vicious Blah. 2 stars
1/06/03 John Weak and ill-conceived 1 stars
1/03/03 Andrew F Bit cheesy, but still fun 3 stars
1/02/03 michaelb14 Not nearly as bad as I was expecting, not that bad 4 stars
12/31/02 Dominic I went to keep a friend company. I am thinking about never speaking to them again. 1 stars
12/24/02 bipartisan Time to milk some more $$$ from the Trekkies - awful, awful film 1 stars
12/23/02 3man Cool battle but poorly edited. I hope it's the end. 3 stars
12/22/02 Kent Wow - it sucked! 2 stars
12/22/02 Kraig Hamilton Piece of crap.... horrid... 1 stars
12/21/02 thermodynamic It's worn out, tired, unoriginal, just plain crap 1 stars
12/21/02 Billy Chan Don't listen to the naysayers...this is worth seeing, has plenty to recommend 4 stars
12/20/02 Roy Wall Best starship battle ever! 5 stars
12/19/02 Andrea I enjoyed it regardless of its flaws 4 stars
12/19/02 Joe Make It Stop Oh God Make It Fucking Stop 1 stars
12/19/02 Frank Grimes Ok, but a script that could stand on its own would be appreciated 3 stars
12/18/02 nick2k a travesty! this is supposed to end the tng-series?! fuck this shit! 2 stars
12/18/02 Uncle Salty Somewhat predictable, plus, haven't they heard of the Atkins diet in the future? 4 stars
12/18/02 Darren Shea Derivative of better movies, and pointlessly maudlin. For die-hard Trek fans only. 3 stars
12/17/02 Superdave Ah, its Ok, and worth seeing, but don't get your hopes up 3 stars
12/17/02 Steve Strahlk As a true scifi buff, there are few films that hold a candle to this one. True Trek! 5 stars
12/17/02 steven seagall hey, it's better than any movie i've ever been in... 2 stars
12/17/02 Saynt Tanami This was among the top three ever made!! 5 stars
12/17/02 ben awesome 5 stars
12/17/02 Benjamin Leatherman A lot of great action and a good villain, but less B4 would have made it better. 4 stars
12/17/02 bob didn't live up to hype 2 stars
12/17/02 Mortis I prefered Nemesis when it was called Wrath of Khan 3 stars
12/17/02 Hotaine The dead character was very much alive at the end of "All Good Things..." 2 stars
12/17/02 Roy Smith Go during matinee or hate yourself - stupid ideas abound. 2 stars
12/17/02 Tony Morris It is with much regret that I found "Solaris" a more entertaining film 2 stars
12/16/02 D Did Worf get demoted?He became Ambassador at DS9 end. I expected more for a finale. 4 stars
12/16/02 Matt Thiel I expected Lore to return. 2 stars
12/16/02 Jimmy Jamez eh. s'alright. go to a matinee. 3 stars
12/16/02 Lloyd Good movie brought down by bad editing. Still I thought it was OK 3 stars
12/16/02 Brandon Continuity Problems (B4)! Crusher, Worf, Geordi reduced to background clutter! Mind Rape! 1 stars
12/16/02 Boba Fett Booooooorrrrrrrrrrrriiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnggggg...shoulda seen Drumline 2 stars
12/16/02 Negman I found it more enjoyable than episode 2. 4 stars
12/15/02 Recockulous Oddly lacking in soundtrack, it was an homage to ST II. One of the top 3 ST films, I think. 4 stars
12/15/02 Kisuta Didn't feel like a big enough movie to kill off a main character. 3 stars
12/15/02 Trek nerds rejoice! You have more Rick Berman Star Trek crap to digest! Everyone else knows this is crap. 1 stars
12/15/02 iso Fucking amazing. If you don't like it, you're being too critical 5 stars
12/15/02 Damm Wasn't even worth seeing 1 stars
12/15/02 Nessus Was a pretty decent action movie, but it didn't feel like a Star Trek movie. 3 stars
12/14/02 brent young a really fun ride in the star trek universe and a fine (probable) ending to TNG movies 5 stars
12/14/02 Benjamin Leatherman Less B4 and more of the Remans would have made this film better. Still pretty kick ass!!!!! 4 stars
12/14/02 Kooler Everyone but Picard looks like shit. Riker could barely fit in the jeffries tube. 2 stars
12/14/02 Wazzy Utter crap. Broke even the easily bendable Star Trek laws. A waste of money. 1 stars
12/14/02 Miguel I'd honestly rather see Attack of the Clones again than this... 2 stars
12/13/02 Wayne I'd rather listen to Shatner sing than see this crap again. 1 stars
12/13/02 Brian Rocks!!!! 5 stars
12/12/02 Randy started great....then just tapered off 3 stars
12/11/02 Tony Young Though the territory has been tread before, this film is invigorating with great characters 5 stars
IF YOU'VE SEEN THIS FILM, RATE IT!
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USA
  13-Dec-2002 (PG-13)
  DVD: 04-Oct-2005

UK
  N/A

Australia
  06-Feb-2003




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