More in-depth film festival coverage than any other website!
Home Reviews  Articles  Release Dates Coming Soon  DVD  Top 20s Criticwatch  Search
Public Forums  Festival Coverage  Contests About 
Advertisement

Overall Rating
1.48

Awesome: 8.7%
Worth A Look: 0%
Average: 4.35%
Pretty Bad: 4.35%
Total Crap82.61%

2 reviews, 11 user ratings


Latest Reviews

Prey (2017) by Jay Seaver

Lu Over the Wall by Jay Seaver

Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri by alejandroariera

Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri by Peter Sobczynski

Justice League by Peter Sobczynski

Mumon: The Land of Stealth by Jay Seaver

Geek Girls by Jay Seaver

Fashionista by Jay Seaver

I Love You, Daddy by Rob Gonsalves

Jailbreak by Jay Seaver

subscribe to this feed


Bolero
[AllPosters.com] Buy posters from this movie
by Charles Tatum

"Bore-lero"
1 stars

John Derek gets his jollies directing his no-talent wife in this softcore nightmare.

Bo Derek is Lida, a fresh faced high school graduate (yeah, right) who idolizes Rudolph Valentino. She and best friend Catalina (Ana Obregon) travel to Morocco to find a sheik and seduce him. You see, Lida is still a virgin, has just inherited a ton of money, and even has chauffeur Cotton (a mortified George Kennedy) at her disposal. The sheik (Greg Bensen) thing doesn't go well, and the group travels to Spain. There, Lida falls for Angel (Andrea Occhipinti), a bullfighter who looks remarkably like Hugh Jackman. The two begin to fall in love, before he gets gored by a bull (right in the juevos), and Lida tries to get him to rise to the occasion like before.

John Derek wrote and directed this film. Bo is in almost every scene. I am still trying to come up with a way to describe how badly both Dereks fail here. John's screenplay never engages the viewer. Bo needs to get laid...so what? There is no conflict, just poor Bo spouting her husband's inane lines. What is worse is that John wrote some explicit sex scenes for Bo and her male co-stars. I don't know about you, but I find that a little weird.

Bo Derek tries to play Lida as a wide eyed innocent. She says her lines too softly and too earnestly, coming off less a virgin and more of a mentally retarded girl. The film takes place in the 1920's, but Bo sports the same Malibu Beach hairdo she has always had. The rest of the cast is lousy as well, including a young Olivia d'Abo in her first major role. By the time this thing sputters to a conclusion, I was thankful "Bolero II" was never a possibility.

While "Swept Away" is one of the worst director husband/actress wife films of the new millennium, remember the 1980's, when John and Bo Derek haunted the theaters with this film and the equally horrifying "Tarzan the Ape Man." Then again, don't.

link directly to this review at http://www.efilmcritic.com/review.php?movie=6504&reviewer=325
originally posted: 08/18/04 00:54:38
[printer] printer-friendly format  

User Comments

9/13/17 morris campbell sorry softcore shit 1 stars
2/25/14 Carol Baker If you have seen Bolero with Raquel Welch, you don't have to see this version 3 stars
9/21/10 PAUL SHORTT BORING SEXUAL DRAMA 1 stars
5/13/09 art IT"S LOOKING THREW A PEEPHOLE IN SOMEBODY"S BEDROOM! 1 stars
4/14/08 art NOTHING BUT A GLORIFIED STAG-MOVIE 2 stars
3/07/07 David Pollastrini porno pretending to be art 1 stars
8/28/05 jayesh nisher she out of the world 5 stars
4/01/05 Peter Bo Derek naked! What a body!!! A must see!!! 5 stars
2/24/04 y2mckay Dismally dull trash. Walked out after 15 minutes - AND I WAS A HORNY TEENAGER BACK THEN! 1 stars
12/15/02 Buddha Terrible. Just terrible. I mean that, really terrible. 1 stars
12/14/02 Charles Tatum Bo and John are to the '80's what Madonna and Guy Ritchie are to today 1 stars
IF YOU'VE SEEN THIS FILM, RATE IT!
Note: Duplicate, 'planted,' or other obviously improper comments
will be deleted at our discretion. So don't bother posting 'em. Thanks!
Your Name:
Your Comments:
Your Location: (state/province/country)
Your Rating:


Discuss this movie in our forum

USA
  02-Aug-1984 (R)
  DVD: 26-Jul-2005

UK
  N/A

Australia
  N/A


Directed by
  John Derek

Written by
  John Derek

Cast
  Bo Derek
  George Kennedy
  Olivia d'Abo
  Greg Bensen
  Ian Cochrane
  Andrea Occhipinti



Home Reviews  Articles  Release Dates Coming Soon  DVD  Top 20s Criticwatch  Search
Public Forums  Festival Coverage  Contests About 
eFilmCritic.com: Australia's Largest Movie Review Database.
Privacy Policy | HBS Inc. | |   

All data and site design copyright 1997-2017, HBS Entertainment, Inc.
Search for
reviews features movie title writer/director/cast