"I kept waiting for something to happen... I wish I hadn't."
An Irish woman is stalked by a freaky phone call making serial killer who likes to strip his victims and stick a knife in their back. Sound scary? Not bloody likely. Watching this movie for a scare is like watching Angela’s Ashes for a pick-me-up.Moira Harris stars as Patricia, a country girl moved to the big smoke of Dublin. While she teaches school during the day, she plays dick-tease at night with the married guy from downstairs, one of her teaching colleagues and the local cop. But Patricia isn’t the brightest candle on the chandelier. Oh, she thinks she’s bright, but the truth is she barely makes a smart decision in this whole damn film. Even when the cops are certain that ‘downstairs married guy’ is the evil killer and Patricia catches him making pervy phone calls (while she’s in the next room - good timing, idiot) she decides not to tell anyone. Why?
“I guess I just trust him.”
Great, and if he kills some other poor, unsuspecting woman, will your ‘trust’ pay for the funeral, you self-obsessed wench?
Watching this flick was a chore. Based on the novel Goosefoot, by Patrick McGinley, the dialogue hardly crackled with the wit of Wilde, the cinematography proved only how drab and depressing Ireland is (even in the countryside) and the performances managed to push that audience depression to breaking point. Moira “Mrs Sinise” Harris could potentially have been the ‘fat girl you could still do’ character that might have made this film watchable, but she’s such a 35-tear-old Catholic schoolgirl that she spends the entire two hours almost having sex, then backing off. Geez, I might be tempted to start swinging the blade too if I’d spent six months trying to get into this woman’s pantaloons.
When push comes to shove however, no matter how many times Downstairs Married guy all but proves his guilt, we find out that all is not as it seems and pricktease girl uses her cooch to save her life. See? A readily accessible vagina is not just attractive, ladies, it’s also good for your personal security!I’m embarrassed that I watched this flick. My roommate came home halfway through and looked at me like I’d turned gay or something. God, this, Master of Disguise and Pluto Nash all in a four month period… there truly is no God.