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Half interminable chatfest and half amateurish monster movie, Infested (annoyingly referred to on the DVD cover with the subtitle Invasion of the Killer Bugs) offers several yawns, a handful of "you gotta be kidding me" chuckles...and basically nothing more. Save the stunningly poor FX and the presence of a few vaguely familiar C-list character actors, Infested offers next to nothing of entertainment value.

Brought together for the funeral of an old-time college chum, a crew of broadly characterized dimbulbs converge upon a woodland retreat. There's the flirtatious near-tramp and her pissed-off hubby, an obnoxious lout who's become a big TV star, the goofy and amiable "nice guy" who never gets the girl, etc., etc.

After about 45 minutes of mind-melting exchanges of banal dialogue, a few of the mourners are possessed by a flock of demonic CGI spots meant to look like actual insects.

The kill scenes basically consist of one possessed person who opens their mouth REAL WIDE, thereby exposing an oncoming rush of CGI spots. The spots then wriggle around the intended victim as much screaming is heard. Once the CGI spots have done their work, the newly-dead become vacant zombie-like creatures who aim to keep the remaining survivors trapped in the house.

Gorehounds will find one or two worthwhile moments (an extended sequence involving a bathroom and someone's horrifically injured leg is suitably goopy) amidst the tiresome antics, but if you're enough of a horror freak to give this one a spin - odds are you'll lose all patience with Infested long before the minute moments of interest pop onto the screen.

Fans of low-grade cinematic cheese may delight in seing Amy Jo Johnson (TV's Felicity and several indie flicks) as the plucky heroine character, while Billy from the Gremlins flicks (Zach Galligan) finds out what kind of movie it takes for him to earn top billing. The rest of the cast offer performances that range from barely watchable to cheezily entertaining.

"Infested" falls prey to the most familiar of B-horror trappings: the non-horror stuff is painful to sit through - and the horror bits are more wretchedly inept than anything else.

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originally posted: 05/01/04 22:53:51
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