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Overall Rating

Awesome: 22.22%
Worth A Look: 0%
Average: 0%
Pretty Bad77.78%
Total Crap: 0%

1 review, 3 user ratings

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Touchables, The
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by The Ultimate Dancing Machine

"Huh? What? Who?"
2 stars

I really can't make the slightest sense out of this thing. A UK production from 1968, it was eagerly imported by clueless U.S. executives hoping to cash in on mod fashion. They must have lost the plot somewhere over the Atlantic.

You see, there are these four English girls who dress up as nuns and kidnap a womanizing rock star. They take him to this giant transparent dome where they tie him to a miniature merry-go-round. They stage a mock trial, find him guilty of liking girls too much, and decide to shoot him. He gets free. They all chase one another through the woods. The girls wear these cute above-the-knee skirts, which is the only reason this is getting more than one star.

And there's a subplot involving a gay black pro wrestler named Lillywhite. WHATever.

The title song is pretty good; it's performed by a band called Nirvana, of all things.

THE TOUCHABLES would make a fine double-feature with THE PHYNX. I wouldn't pay money to see it, of course, but it would be fun to wait outside the theatre and see the looks on people's faces as they stagger away from three straight hours of incoherent late '60s youth-culture pandering.

I can dream, can't I?

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originally posted: 02/11/03 20:00:30
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User Comments

9/20/11 dan Strange but nicely done, recommended. 5 stars
9/23/05 jas wow Bubble dome and pretty boy rock star kidnapping? i loved it. 5 stars
3/25/04 Diane Pretty crappy, but great for 60's afficionados. 2 stars
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