Worth A Look: 11.11%
Pretty Bad: 6.35%
Total Crap: 52.38%
3 reviews, 45 user ratings
|Welcome To Woop-Woop
by Chris Parry
Wow. What a non effort pile of shit this is.Here's the thing about aussie films. In order to 'make it' overseas, where the phat money is, they have to be quirky.
"Many aussie films are about retards. This was DIRECTED by one."
Looking at the aussie releases of the the last twenty years, you're pretty much looking at a line up of schizophrenics, outback crocodile wrestlers and drag queens, and nothing else.
Why? Because the USA doesn't need more mainstream. They have enough of that already. But quirkiness? Who would invest in that?
So every aussie director finds a story about retarded folks or deranged folks or gay folks and they know they're on a good thing. They have no competition. They're a cinch.
Don't believe me? Let's look at Australia's entries to Cannes this year. Head On, about homophobia, and Dance Me To My Song, a drama surrounding a severely handicapped woman and her carer.
Before that came Shine (deranged), Cosi (handicapped), Angel Baby (schizophrenics), Bad Boy Bubby (deranged), Malcolm (deranged), one would be forgiven for thinking that every Australian has a metal plate in their head.
But every now and then one of these quirky flicks makes it big. For example, Priscilla: Queen Of The Desert. Great movie all around. Original theme, funny, no complaints. Heck, there's even the odd Oscar for costumes.
Then certain people, namely the hitherto unknown director, Stephan Elliott, get it in their head that they could take a runny shit in a rusty bucket, slap it on some celluloid and people will buy a ticket to see it.
And thus you have Welcome To Woop Woop.
This is quite certainly a runny shit on celluloid. I haven't seen a more stereotyped example of Australians since the opening scenes of Crocodile Dundee. The guys in kangaroo suits in Tank Girl were more Australian than the 1950's prototypes thrown up in this piece of crap. Picture a Fosters TV commercial without any shred of humor whatsoever. Then stretch it to two hours.
Feeling ill yet?
I'd be bemused by all this if I didn't know exactly what was going on here. Elliott has stated publicly that he was continually annoyed by the studios wanting him to make movies for them but not liking the ideas he presented to them.
So what did he do? He's used their money and churned out a no effort, useless, pointless, moronic piece of excrement. The studio will release it, nobody will come, they'll lose cash, he'll move on.
And what happened? The movie did no business in Australia where it was roundly derided for it's cultural cringe, got put back by months in the US so that the negative buzz would die, and Elliott? Well, he's already working on his next film, signed well before Welcome To Woop Woop was handed in, no doubt.
It's not the fault of the actors (who I won't name in order to preserve their careers, I'm sure they'd be thankful), they're just doing their best with the ghastly script and premise they've been handed. And let's face it, aussie actors aren't exactly driving convertibles. They have to take the jobs that are offered and I'm sure they all cringed when they realised what they were taking part in.I worry about you folks. Money doesn't grow on trees and you've worked hard for what you have. Don't waste it on films such as these, for they are what you might call "rip-off"s. Bullshit. Theft.
Welcome To Woop Woop is an aussie version of Heaven's Gate. Stephan Elliott should be blacklisted for the next five years for misappropriating the studio's money, not to mention mine.
link directly to this review at http://www.efilmcritic.com/review.php?movie=71&reviewer=1
originally posted: 10/24/98 00:05:37
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