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Overall Rating
2.1

Awesome: 3.61%
Worth A Look: 13.86%
Average: 20.48%
Pretty Bad: 12.65%
Total Crap49.4%

5 reviews, 136 user ratings


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Batman Forever
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by Slyder

"The more I expected from this movie, the more I was dissapointed"
1 stars

Back in 1995, when this movie came out, the promotion hype made me believe that it was going to be a big hit. I saw this movie in a public supermarket in Mexico, where the vendor was basically a pirate that sold pirate illegal movies (a common thing in Mexico, unfortunately). So I was seeing it, and I enjoyed it, but then I later, as I got older and saw it again, I was now thinking: "WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?"

First of all, the film starts with Harvey Two Face (played by Tommy Lee Jones, who I think plays the strongest performance in the movie) trying to trick Batman in a hostage type robbery. Two Face is seeking revenge because he feels Batman is responsible for not protecting him when some guy threw acid at him during a court hearing, which deformed half of his face, and his brain, making him a schizophrenic. Batman pulls through that and chases Two Face, who gets off in a helicopter and so on so on.

First of all, the action scenes IN THE BEGINNING of the movie were cool. I think there is no question about that, but as the movie goes on they reach a point of annoyance and get worse and worse. But wait, flaw number one: why the fuck is Tommy Lee Jones playing the role of Harvey Dent, when the original guy who played it was Billy Dee Williams? Sure you may ask me, Hey Slyder, thatís like asking why is Val Kilmer playing the role of Batman when Michael Keaton was the original guy that played it? Well, my friend, I regret that Michael Keaton is not playing that role. I regret more that Joel fucking Schumacher is directing instead of Tim Burton. AND I, regret more that Alive goddamn Goldsman wrote this script instead of Sam Hamm and Warren Skaaren writing it, though they would have made it a hell of a lot better than this trash. Ok, maybe the actors donít matter, but what fucking bothers me is that in the original, Harvey Dent is BLACK! And in this movie he is WHITE! What's with that? To the casting person: Didn't you watch the original? How come Harvey Dent in the first one is black and now he's fucking white, huh? Or was it the acid? Big fuckup there

The Bruce Wayne we see here (portrayed by Val Kilmer) is not the same Bruce Wayne we used to see before. I say this since Iím referring to his all-of-a-sudden careless action of giving away his identity faster than any fucking informer in the New York Times. And then Kilmer giving out a wooden like performance. Chris O'Donnell is all right, but at times he's so annoying I wanted Bruce to slap him once in a while, tell him to shut up.

And Jim Carrey, ugh, donít get me started. I'm not questioning his performance, I'm questioning the role he has in the movie, he just gets pissed of at Bruce Wayne and then later he finds out that he's Batman, and then he wants to kill him, and then he wants to control peoples mind and..... What? Where? I though he wanted revenge against Batman, thatís one of the reasons he joined Two Face, now he wants revenge all over the city? Why the fuck? The city didn't do anything to him. They didn't treat him like a sack of shit as Bruce did with him, so what the hell is with that? He would have used that thing to lobotomize Batman's brain, but now the city? Thatís bullshit, and itís pointless.

Putting Dr. Chase Meridian (Nicole Kidman) in the movie was a mistake; I mean she just wants to seduce Batman, thatís all. There was no need whatsoever to put her in here, so that just makes her another "fill-in" in the movie.

The plot has good ideas (yeah some guys want to kill Batman, like no bad guy didn't), but in the end it's stupid, it's not believable and it's too funny, with dialogues that are as embarrassing as a typical screwball comedy. Why add some comedy in this? For Heavens Sakes, the Batman flicks are supposed to have a dark mood around it, and show Gotham City as a dark creepy city. It's a film-noir type of movie. But what do we have? We got a city that looks more like a fucking circus, all mixed up into a pathetic, colorful, and FUNNY shit load.

In the end there is no words to put on how stupid this movie is. And don't ask me about that fucky-looking Batmobile; it looks like some dick sticking out. Man, I wish this film was better, but it isn't. And the saddest thing is that it's not over yet. 1-5

link directly to this review at http://www.efilmcritic.com/review.php?movie=714&reviewer=235
originally posted: 12/08/00 15:37:06
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User Comments

9/13/17 morris campbell best of the original 4 4 stars
3/23/15 Jerry Spray Take "Batman", add in pointless action, throw out the story, and you've got this movie. 2 stars
9/02/14 Dude This was awesome... when i was 5 3 stars
8/09/12 Kcaj not as silly as batman and robin. But thats not saying much 3 stars
1/20/10 Stanley Thai A lot more colorful and hyperactive, this sequel still falls short of being good. 3 stars
11/10/09 Jeff Wilder Easily the weakest in the series. Carrey went over the top, 2 stars
7/29/09 dan halberg Carrey is even funnier than Jack in the 1st film. He'd make a decent Joker, too 3 stars
9/02/08 Herbet Only the soundtrack was good with Kiss from a Rose... 1 stars
7/24/08 Shaun Wallner Ugg boring!! 1 stars
7/22/08 the dork knight They should have marketed it as an updated version of the Adam West show 3 stars
6/21/08 David V It's not bad. 3 stars
9/04/07 johnnyfog Kilmer is ok. But what's with Schumacher and his rubber ass-shots? 3 stars
4/29/07 Jackospacko Whoa Nicole Kidman is hot as and the storyline is pretty good. Wake up dumbfuckers! 4 stars
3/06/07 Dude pretty crappy 2 stars
2/19/07 Nick Maday Decent, but not as dark as Batman usually is. 3 stars
2/03/07 Vip Ebriega I like Tim Burton's better. But this is passable. 3 stars
1/10/07 johnnyfog I almost forgot Debi Mazar was alive. What a stone fox! Oh yeah, IT BLOWS 2 stars
9/14/06 Anthony Feor The characters are good, but the movie could be better 3 stars
9/14/06 Patrick Petty I really enjoyed it, won't say it was the best, but a thoughtful reimagining. 4 stars
7/19/06 Michael Jones had a inventive character going, but it wasn't Two-Face he was playing. 4 stars
7/11/06 David Cohen Somebody please stop Schumaker before he directs again! 1 stars
6/24/06 George Val Kilmer did a good Perf, but he isn't Batman 4 stars
6/23/06 The X They took an awesome character like Two-Face and fucked it up, pathetic movie. 1 stars
6/10/06 Jacko The villans were unafective and it got boring at times but it was worth it.6.7 /10 4 stars
6/06/06 ES better than the fourth installment, on par with number two- that's not saying much 2 stars
6/05/06 chris Not as much of a letdown as the 4th 4 stars
3/28/06 Brian Meyer Clownish and nonsensical. AN EYESORE AT BEST! 2 stars
3/03/06 Anthony Feor Not the best Batman 3 stars
1/18/06 JM Synth Fun but mostly uninvolving, thought the openning scene is great. Best for pre-teens 3 stars
12/29/05 tony Well, not total crap. but still too goofey 3 stars
12/23/05 cody a bad sequel even if val kilmer and chris give good perfomances, pretty bad 2 stars
8/23/05 Eden People who like this film should be sent to prison 1 stars
8/18/05 green gremlin Makes "Batfink and Karate" look sophisticated !!! 1 stars
7/12/05 Andrew underated 3 stars
6/21/05 R schumacher = the satan of cinema. 1 stars
6/20/05 Manu Ginobli Not as bad as the next one, just because it has Jim Carrey 2 stars
6/05/05 Littlepurch I liked it. Overacted and a rushed ending but overall fun. And it looked great! 4 stars
5/17/05 E-FUNK Enter Schumacher... exit all interest in this dead franchise. 1 stars
3/27/05 Jack Sommersby By far the worst of the series. Unbearable and uncouth. 1 stars
3/25/05 indrid cold Schumacher manages to make even a cartoon look silly. 2 stars
3/19/05 Seanboy I thought that this movie was good for what it was, with some surprisingly good performance 4 stars
1/30/05 Jeff Anderson Sad to say, a dull & dumb BATMAN film! Nicole Kidman is the only great EYE CANDY in this! 2 stars
12/10/04 Kristina Williams awesome Batmoblie, but damn the flick was weak 2 stars
11/18/04 chris terrible twoface 3 stars
11/08/04 Dave yawn. id rather watch fabian shave his beared 1 stars
10/04/04 sbpat21 okay 3 stars
9/04/04 T.B. I liked Jim Carrey as the Riddler 3 stars
4/21/04 Daveman More visually impressive than Batman & Robin with a very good performance from Carrey. 2 stars
3/20/04 Jack-pyschO-Lantern At least it's better than, BATMAN & ROBIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 5 stars
1/14/04 Helius Could be worse; the cast is excellent, if nothing else. 3 stars
12/22/03 Snickerdoodle Jim Carrey was good but Val Kilmer sucked and acted like he was on Valium. 4 stars
12/10/03 re okay 3 stars
12/05/03 john a convoluted mess - Schumacher is the wrong director for this franchise 1 stars
11/24/03 Samuel Not all that great, but Jim Carrey's in it so it was ok... 3 stars
11/01/03 American Slasher Goddess Downright terrible, although O' Donnell is halfway decent as Robin. 1 stars
10/09/03 Buck Second best, next to the original, despite cheese factor 4 stars
5/28/03 Zach Interesting.......... 2 stars
4/18/03 Jon "Thumb the Toad" Lyrik Has possibly the worst direction ever seen on film. 1 stars
2/11/03 Ubu the Ripper This movie sucks harder than a black hole. Val Kilmer should be fined. 1 stars
1/31/03 bullit17 The best thing you can say about it: At least it wasn't "Batman & Robin" 1 stars
1/30/03 Maegs Horrid 1 stars
1/23/03 Pinkline Jones Proves that Megabucks don't necessarily a good film make 1 stars
1/04/03 Jack Sommersby By far the worst of the series. Kilmer is superb; Carrey is catastrophic. 1 stars
10/18/02 Jiz Riddler was played well. The rest? Uh... No. 2 stars
10/14/02 Charles Tatum Movies like this is why Hollywood Bitchslap exists 1 stars
10/03/02 Ron Sanchez Fuck all you assholes , this was the best batman ever 5 stars
8/16/02 Shaun Slightly better than Returns, Jones and Carrey have a blast, its good 4 stars
7/11/02 CVJ NWO good but not at all the best one watch batman returns instead 3 stars
6/03/02 Joel Schumacher and Akiva Goldsman J: I hope you loved my direction. A: My writing in B&R was even better! Both: NEON FOREVER! 1 stars
5/13/02 Phoenix Almost on par with the original. What the fuck is wrong with everybody? 5 stars
4/27/02 maximal01 Paging Val Kilmer.. return to Heat and get the fuck off a Batman set...repeat... 1 stars
4/24/02 Danielle Ophelia An overindulgent sideshow. Wasted Jones and Carrey. Kilmer and O'Donnell suck hose water. 2 stars
3/02/02 Alan Smithee Anyone who like this movie is a complete bastard. 1 stars
12/16/01 Gryphonlady Different feel than 1 & 2, still an impressive performance by VK and TLJ. Stands alone. 4 stars
11/29/01 KMG Boring commercial piece of Keaton castoff Mad Mardigan meets Pasty Cruise Goddess shit! 1 stars
11/16/01 the sugar plum fairy it was complete and utter crap 1 stars
11/04/01 Alecia Kidman as Chase Meridan???? What's wrong wth ths picture??? There's nothing sexual about K 1 stars
10/21/01 Bring Burton Back!!!!!! Holy SHIT, Batman! Get yer dick out of my ass would ya, Joel? Sick bastard. 1 stars
9/26/01 Shane Robert Myers!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The best Batman Yet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 5 stars
9/18/01 Butterbean Burton's dark feel is missed, but this was casted wonderfully 3 stars
9/06/01 spaceworm Carrey feels like TV version, Kilmer best of three Batmen, disappear O'Donnell(Hoo-hah!). 2 stars
8/10/01 the scarecrow A big pile of dogshit that used to be pretty good before Schumaker butchered it!! 1 stars
8/09/01 E-Funk I missed Burton immediately, but the size of the cast and the action was a nice substitute. 4 stars
8/07/01 Joe Zappa Holy kick-ass, Batman! This movie kicks ass! 4 stars
8/02/01 KC Au Should't have killed off the Joker so soon, now we are stuck with two C-grade villians! 1 stars
6/14/01 Gary I felt sorry for Nicole. She looked confused, but who can blame her? 1 stars
6/14/01 Law Firm of Dewey, Cheatam & Howe What a gyp 1 stars
6/10/01 Turtle Jim Carrey is the ultimate savior of this film. And it's not that bad. 4 stars
5/22/01 mjm103171 I saw this for Chris O'Donnell 3 stars
5/21/01 Ray McCoy Hey look, bat nipples!!! 1 stars
5/04/01 Gracy Lionheart SO much better than Batman and Robin. Overhyped, but I liked Carrey's character. 3 stars
4/13/01 Kel-C Not as bad as B&R but what have they done to Burton's vision and Elfman's theme?! So sad... 1 stars
4/06/01 fifu val is no keaton 3 stars
4/03/01 Mike Dean Bat-butts and bat-nipples=homoerotic garbage. Please return to us Tim and Mike! 1 stars
3/28/01 Jesse L With a killer cast can a movie suck all ass? THIS IS IT! 1 stars
3/18/01 Hobbes I would smile if i saw Shumacher executed. 2 stars
3/09/01 BART everything sucks except for the songs. 2 stars
2/16/01 Joseph Lewis When even star Jim Carrey messes up, you know it's bad. 1 stars
2/16/01 Ray McCoy "Holy rusted metal, Batman!" - Batman Forever, no, really 1 stars
2/15/01 lisa watching that babe kilmer run around in rubber was pretty cool. 3 stars
2/15/01 KyLe*BrOfLoVsKi The Villians made this one stomachable. Val Kilmer as Batman is pretty-boy PUKE!!! 3 stars
1/30/01 rubber FUCKING APPALLING!!! 1 stars
1/14/01 safged weygwe 4 stars
12/26/00 Turtle An okay sequel, but needs some work. 4 stars
11/28/00 Cristopher Revilla good action scenes but shitty plot, face it people, most sequels suck shit (prove me wrong) 1 stars
9/16/00 Hal Pokejedservo needs his head examined! That SOB Shitmaker raped the life out of Batman! 1 stars
8/03/00 Terrie Smith Not a bad entry in the series; Jim Carrey is annoying. Special effects are OK. 4 stars
6/29/00 Hal Shumacher MUST die! Bring back Burton and Keaton! 1 stars
5/31/00 danilo very good - BIG improvement over Returns 4 stars
5/28/00 Fred Schumacher and that hack Akiva Goldsman should be taken out and beaten to death! PATHETIC. 1 stars
4/30/00 Matt AHH....VERY PRETTY,VERY EXPENSIVE SHITE! 1 stars
4/16/00 BB-15 Not as good as the first two, but still a great thrill ride. 5 stars
4/10/00 Myself Good movie, but would've been better with Burton, Keaton, and Elfman. 4 stars
4/01/00 malcolm best of the series. Kilmer kills Keaton and Clooney. 4 stars
3/17/00 Lame-Oh What the hell was I thinking?! This movie blows Canadian bacon! 1 stars
2/28/00 Jana Great fun and excitement! This series ROCKS! 5 stars
2/11/00 Kyle Broflovski Tommy Lee & Jim are the only saving graces. Batman & Robin are just plain BORING!!! 3 stars
1/31/00 Hmm... Flashy,but good.Different from one and two sure,but no one would hate it had IT come 1st 3 stars
1/19/00 k.tomkowski Over the top. Flashy, shallow and unnerving 3 stars
1/13/00 Jedi15 This movie sucks and blows! There's so much shit in this movie that you'll choke on it! 1 stars
12/22/99 Deckard Leave it to H'Wood to destroy a good franchise.The most pathetic thing is that it got WORSE 1 stars
12/13/99 Ted Wetzel UGH! This "movie" sucks from start to finish.There isn't one good thing in this shitter. 1 stars
10/26/99 Karahde Khan Lots of children dying by hunger in Africa, and they waste millions in this... 1 stars
7/02/99 Cage It wasn't great, simply entertaining. Any Batman is cool, no matter what. 4 stars
6/28/99 Arkansas Jon Entertaining, but highly disappointing. Speaking of nipples, Nicole is a babe, though. 3 stars
12/13/98 Binky And to think they let Schumacher take another one. Guh. Shitful. 1 stars
12/05/98 grunter um, Batman's not cross-eyed. 1 stars
11/05/98 Bad Kosh Your'e doomed, Fatman. Do the Bartman, dickhead! 1 stars
10/14/98 Alex F. If it wasn't for Jim, this flick woulda sucked more moosecock then a drunken canadian 3 stars
10/07/98 Maegs Val Kilmer? 2 stars
10/05/98 Negative Creep I waited FOREVER to see this. It wasnt Great but it wasnt EVil. 3 stars
9/02/98 J-Guy you've ruined batman. fuckerheads. 1 stars
8/31/98 MikeF not as shity as natman and robin, but shity none the less. 2 stars
8/31/98 Mister Whoopee Shitful. But did they learn? Did they shite. 2 stars
8/30/98 Johny Who needs Neon? 1 stars
8/28/98 Chuck-D Eung, kinda OK, like a good amusement park ride, has nothing on the first movie. Nipples? 3 stars
IF YOU'VE SEEN THIS FILM, RATE IT!
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USA
  11-Jun-1995 (R)
  DVD: 18-Oct-2005

UK
  N/A

Australia
  29-Jun-1995 (PG)




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