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Nude on the Moon
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by The Ultimate Dancing Machine

"Blue on the Moon"
2 stars

For some folks, those old nudie flicks from the '50s and '60s possess a certain antiquated charm--they're so cheerfully INNOCENT compared to the raunchorama films you find behind the green door at your local video rental shop. But to me, movies like Exhibit A here, NUDE ON THE MOON, are so outdated they don't even make for good camp fun. The whole effect of movies like this depends on the shock value of seeing boobs on screen, which was generally out of the question back in the Hays Code era. Nowadays, these flicks are so tepid there's hardly any point in watching them.

But should you get stuck with this disc, this is all you need to know: the topless chicks start appearing at the thirty-one minute mark. You can safely fast-forward past the set-up, which is all boring exposition and bland acting. A pair of scientists are trying to fly to the moon--that's all you need to know. The two male leads belong to that old-fashioned stuffed-shirt style of acting that required thespians to deliver dialogue like they were reciting speeches from a textbook.

It gets somewhat more interesting once they go to the moon and discover that the lunar surface mysteriously looks like Florida, with flora and fauna and palm trees all over the joint. Also, there are topless chicks walking around--a few topless men, too, if you belong to that persuasion--and the plot is (wisely) dispensed with as the film subsequently turns into a series of tableux featuring busty babes frolicking around the landscape.

Director Doris Wishman made lots of screwy movies, most notoriously LET ME DIE A WOMAN, an incredibly sleazy documentary about transsexuals that gets my vote as the weirdest movie of all time. Very little of that grindhouse strangeness got into NUDE ON THE MOON, a disappointingly innocuous effort any way you look at it. Admittedly, some of the girls have nice knockers, but come on....

Unlike most discs from Something Weird, this DVD is rather skimpy on the extras: it just has the film's original trailer and a brief striptease loop with a sci-fi theme.

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originally posted: 03/02/03 15:18:59
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3/18/03 Doug Worthy of MST3K 2 stars
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Directed by
  Doris Wishman

Written by
  Doris Wishman

  Lester Brown
  William Mayer
  Charles Allen
  Hugh Brooks
  Joyce Brooks

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