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Overall Rating
1.43

Awesome: 0%
Worth A Look: 14.29%
Average: 0%
Pretty Bad: 0%
Total Crap85.71%

1 review, 1 rating


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Double Tap
[AllPosters.com] Buy posters from this movie
by Justin Helmer

"EEEEAGGGH!!!! That sucked..."
1 stars

I don’t know how it happens. I’ve never actually seen it take place, but I assume it must be some sort of dark ritual that’s usually performed to get movies like this made. Double Tap is an hour and a half of complete mediocrity. Bad script, bad acting, bad concept wow…and yet it feels like somewhere beneath all of it there is a serviceable thriller crying to get out.

So, an undercover FBI agent played by Heather Locklear (Warning sign number one…) survives a hit on the person that she has been sent under ‘deep cover’ to implicate. The hit man, played by Stephan Rea, for some reason lets her live even though she has seen his face. Oh, yeah I forgot, he also leaves a calling card at every hit he makes. A lucky rabbit’s foot means that the dreaded Cypher (sic) has done the job.

Yeah that’s right. I said fucking Cypher…apparently this yahoo is the best in the business. This despite the fact that he not only lets random people live, but also leaves behind evidence of his involvement. I don’t know if part of the plot was a shortage of competent hitmen in the area, but I know I would never hire a guy with those two strikes against him.

Cypher, it seems, has been running around killing all of the criminal kingpins in the area. So suddenly we have the FBI team tracking him instead of the drug dealers they are supposed to be watching. They witness not one, but two, hits this guy makes, and seem to be completely unable to capture him. Another strike against Cypher is his tendency to make his kills in the presence of federal agents (Strike Three!). But of course the agents do everything short of poking each other in the eyes to allow him to escape.

Having gotten this far, I’m thinking to myself this has got to be some sort of weird combination movie. Like the world’s most inept professional killer, verses the federal Keystone Cops. When Katherine (Locklear) happens on Cypher’s ad in the local paper, she of course can’t think of anything procedural to do (like tracing the address down through the mother-grabbing FBI! Or contacting the newspaper to find out who placed the ad). So she sets up a gloriously ill-planned sting operation.

There are double crosses galore, shifting alliances, and I didn’t give a flying fuck about any of it because I was still trying to wrap my head around the fact that the best hitman in town runs ads in the fucking newspaper! How?! How did this ever get beyond a pitch meeting? What manner of drugs must the continuity people have been on? It boggles the mind. Or at least it does, until one takes a gander at the creative team responsible for this silliness.

To begin with, Greg Yaitanes--the director--is a hack. And what’s worse, he’s a hack who works almost exclusively on bad television. He has directed episodes of such stellar programs as Nash Bridges Cleopatra 2525, and Fastlane. I only hope that there’s a section of hell set aside for people who waste entertainment money. Maybe they will force him to watch his own product until his eyes implode.

But it gets better. The writers, who crafted dialogue so hollow sounding that I thought the screenplay was being made up by a group of fifth graders, deserve mention as well. The three of them have partial credits on the likes of Immortal Combat, Wes Craven’s: Wishmaster, and Showtime. Well, at least it’s good to know the boys have some standards; I didn’t see any movies featuring Shaq. The one odd thing was seeing the names Joel Silver and Richard Donner listed as producers. They may not be the two brightest stars in the galaxy, but normally their work is far above this level. The only thing I’ve been able to come up with is that it was some kind of tax write-off.

The acting is uniformly abysmal. Which is no particular surprise considering the protagonist is played by Heather Locklear. Stephan Rea needs to get a better shit-filter installed in whomever it is that reads his scripts. It is kind of amusing to watch him phone in his performance from three towns over, while Locklear is obviously making a concerted effort of it. They end up at about the same level quality wise, which is awful, which is par for the course.

link directly to this review at http://www.efilmcritic.com/review.php?movie=7459&reviewer=315
originally posted: 03/31/03 02:35:32
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User Comments

10/19/08 Mack Great photography, acting and script are undermined by odd editing and music. Worth a look. 4 stars
IF YOU'VE SEEN THIS FILM, RATE IT!
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USA
  05-Sep-1997 (R)

UK
  N/A

Australia
  05-Sep-1997




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