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Overall Rating
2.15

Awesome: 12.03%
Worth A Look: 11.39%
Average: 9.49%
Pretty Bad: 13.29%
Total Crap53.8%

5 reviews, 128 user ratings


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2 Fast 2 Furious
[AllPosters.com] Buy posters from this movie
by Chris Parry

"A movie for 14-year-old boys who wear their pants three sizes too big."
1 stars

Grow up, people. I mean, I'm all about the silly when it's done in a smart way, and I can even admit to having enjoyed (parts of) The Fast and The Furious, but this woeful sequel, which has nothing in common with the first film other than Paul Walker and some fast cars, is some of the laziest, stupidest, most incompetent filmmaking I've seen since the recent remake of Rollerball. It's expensive, loud, dumb as a shoe, and compeltely without a point. In fact, I'd go so far as to say that if you really liked this film, you have a career working in fast food to look forward to.

Get it? Fast food?

So Paul Walker is back as the former cop who can drive fast and finked on Vin Diesel a few years ago. Now he's being recruited by a guy who wants to have the fastest driver in town move some crap for him. Cue races where lots of illegal street racers try to outrun each other to get the big job.

And basically, that's as far as I'm going to go with storyline recitation because, frankly, those with brains don't care, and those without don't read.

This movie is a steaming pile of doody. If you took all the words and looked each one up in the dictionary, only half would have actual definitions, and the rest would consist of two syllables a pop. That is, unless you're talking about car parts, in which case the cast can suddenly sound like uber-machano-scientists merged with auto racing brand name marketers.

"Gee, I would have been nowhere without my NOS. Once the hydrodefibrillator on the halfcrank hoobastank started hitting max RPMs, I was wacked by G forces and internal combustovibrationism from the poonani. Bro."

Seriously, the parts of this film that weren't written by product placement lawyers must have been written by 12-year-olds. It's as if the screenplay was written like this:

Paul Walker: Sup, G! Y0Ur so M0n3y! 1'd lik3 to t@p th@t b0Oty, yo.

Has it all come to this? Are we now so obsessed with conformity that we'll all make ourselves dumber just to fit in? Has a generation of teenage boys been raised on such bad parenting and awful TV that the very act of speaking now requires more work to say less - just because everyone else is doing it?

And why, when you're spending a hundred million bucks on a film, does nobody seem to bother spending half a million on the actual script?

Of course the retarded amongst us will decry this review as "fuct" and say I know shit about cars and this movie rocks ass, but really, if I gave a red rat's ass what some acne-riddled teenager who won't be allowed to drive for two years and wishes his parents called him G-Money thought about my work, I'd probably go buy a trailer home, start drinking malt liquor, marry a fat chick with most of her teeth and spend the next forty years beating women and shooting stuffed animals off the roof of an abandoned Chevy for kicks. Instead, to quote a movie with far more intellect than this dreck could ever boast, "I weep for the future."

link directly to this review at http://www.efilmcritic.com/review.php?movie=7617&reviewer=1
originally posted: 05/26/04 08:00:07
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User Comments

9/22/17 morris campbell same old shit minus douchebag diesel 1 stars
4/06/15 Cameron What a patronizing review. This was a highly entertaining and well-made film. 4 stars
2/16/09 Jeff Wilder What happened to John Singleton? 1 stars
6/15/08 CD It was pointless, dumb, and had me drooling because of the abundance of stupidity, DUMB! 1 stars
9/12/07 Caleb fuck u all it was a sick movie 5 stars
9/02/07 fgfftyh it is very cool 5 stars
6/14/07 michael this movie is cool 5 stars
5/17/07 sam disappointed as the first waas much better but have seen better 2 stars
5/15/07 Bilge Kađan Oran 10330 5 stars
3/10/07 Car Lover This is crap. Plastic cars doing impossible stuffs 1 stars
5/12/06 mr.seraph fast and the furious wasnt too great, and this movie is even worse 2 stars
3/28/06 Brian Meyer As fun as driving intoxicated, with all the after effects of the crash. fatalities included 1 stars
2/27/06 Anthony Feor Not the best sequel, but it was enjoyable 3 stars
12/23/05 cody a good sequel with even more car action and stunts, good story, and cool music vin is gone 4 stars
12/09/05 Saqib I was insulted upon considering what they must have thought of the viewers intellect 1 stars
11/26/05 Zenny I felt my IQ dropping the whole time 1 stars
10/05/05 Andrew Cramer This surpassed my incredibly low expectations, and not in a good way. 1 stars
8/31/05 Dyran Saggoonoo The stunts are not too cool ! 4 stars
8/28/05 Denzel Tomarra Very good movie 5 stars
8/21/05 tony it was good. I esspecially liked the car races! 3 stars
7/31/05 Bad Critic It made me hate the first one too! 2 stars
7/18/05 nathan yeates its mint 5 stars
4/25/05 OverTheRainbow if you are wanting male eye candy...this is the movie! 5 stars
4/17/05 sidman656 it had its action and it threw in some girls but there could've been more of a story to it 3 stars
4/16/05 Carol Conway Wasn't fast enough 2 stars
3/26/05 Denise not as good as the first 3 stars
3/12/05 Jester Disappointment after it's much better predecessor 2 stars
3/09/05 Carolyn Rathburn A lot of grand standing, but lots of action, twists and turns, love those cars 4 stars
3/03/05 jake benson it was fucking awsome 5 stars
3/02/05 David Tsung please...no more fast or furious 1 stars
3/02/05 Jack Bourbon Shockingly, not a masterpiece 2 stars
3/02/05 Colleen Goldrick 2 Slow 1 stars
2/02/05 Charlie Too Lame Too Stupid! 2 stars
12/30/04 Dan Wtf did I just watch? 1 stars
11/26/04 MICHAEL COOL BUT GOOD 3 stars
11/04/04 Rabekah Williams the first one sucked, the sec bombed hard, need i say more. 1 stars
10/02/04 Jackson Anderson sick mate 5 stars
9/10/04 Therese The film was really good 5 stars
8/16/04 ALDO The story in this was way better than part 1.... 4 stars
7/09/04 YASSER HUSSAIN THE FILM IS WICKED 5 stars
7/09/04 Jack An awful movie that reeks of shallowness and stupidity, Ah The Accident Of Birth 1 stars
6/26/04 Nick Clark it was a really cool movie 4 stars
6/24/04 james dont you think that this movie was just a bit exgerated like those lightheaded movie people 2 stars
6/03/04 J 1 WILD RIDE!!! 5 stars
6/01/04 Charlene Javier Pass me the Advil! 1 stars
5/28/04 the bride Brad Da Man Hales? You fuckin asshole. This movie sucks big fat Rhinoceros dick. GROW UP!! 1 stars
4/14/04 matt aprile it is the best movie ive seen about cars and i love cars 5 stars
3/31/04 Alex Awesome cars, great action, just as good as the first one. 5 stars
3/29/04 Brad Da Man Hales totally better than the 1st hope there's a 3rd 5 stars
3/20/04 Nannette this was a good movie 4 stars
3/19/04 Philip James Pattemore I loved the four wheel drives at the start 5 stars
3/13/04 Johnno Falcon piece of shit 1 stars
2/07/04 Lar 15 I absolutly loved the first one but this one was pure crap.Lame! 2 stars
1/29/04 J An Awesome jaw dropper! *** 5 stars
1/17/04 tadpole very good movie 4 stars
1/13/04 Nucleo I'd rather jam a flaming spork up my ass. 1 stars
12/31/03 Jason Maine go play video games like GTA3 or Vice City you dumb fucks! 1 stars
12/23/03 the Grinch Watch Monster Garage or buy Car + Driver.....they have more of a plot 1 stars
12/15/03 frank lohns its shit 1 stars
11/28/03 ben lang Its a wicked and andrenalin rushing movie 5 stars
11/14/03 matt cool 4 stars
11/09/03 John Jackoffski Absolute crap, i hated it and half the stunts were totally impossible. 1 stars
10/26/03 Zaharin Hamid aka The Movie Samseng I fucking hated this movie. It had nothing to do whatsoever with the first one. 1 stars
10/18/03 madsnake this movie is worse than rugrats in paris 1 stars
10/16/03 Nicci Even my bf appoligized for making us watch this junk! 1 stars
10/09/03 Squall01mv A buncha stickers and a tin wing Yeah cars look really great...for me to poop on 1 stars
9/29/03 Bubba it sucked green donky dicks - is there a 0 star rating? 1 stars
9/28/03 djacosta ˇ Hijos de la gran puta ! 1 stars
9/24/03 Haydn White It was a fast paced movie with alot of action with great looking cars 5 stars
9/23/03 jack i wanted to put a bullet in my brain at the theater 1 stars
8/28/03 JJ from da block Please, plastic cars and where's that VIN number dude? 1 stars
8/27/03 Ghetto Smurf Too fast and too furious for a good script *applause* 1 stars
8/18/03 palaboy101 the first movie was definitely better than this 3 stars
8/13/03 swebb I love cars,in every way and every form,but strangely i agree fully with you,TERRIBLE! 1 stars
8/11/03 Amy Would be improved greatly if Walker suddenly became mute. 1 stars
8/05/03 jess I loved it but not as good as the first one 4 stars
7/27/03 Christina It was alright, plot wasnt that good, but i still think it is worth watching at least once 4 stars
7/21/03 AntiRice Never have I seen anything that retarded in my life, lame cars, lame plot 'Nuff said 1 stars
7/19/03 jo blo this move is the crapest ever 1 stars
7/17/03 Terrance Rogers It was good, but Tyrese can't act 4 stars
7/16/03 carlin gazzola fuck the movie 1 stars
7/14/03 jon smith total shit 1 stars
7/08/03 D.A. it sucks reakky bad 1 stars
7/06/03 terance brown not as good as the first 1 4 stars
7/06/03 palaboy101 it's good, but not as memorable as the first movie 3 stars
7/04/03 italian stallion SIK CARS, SHIT ACTING!!! 2 stars
7/04/03 hitler hoganban sweetcars 1 stars
7/02/03 jerk jerk 1 stars
7/01/03 rick fallit it's shit 1 stars
6/30/03 chimney cheese This film stinks. Fast cars & bimbos wont interest me in a film with a woeful plot. 1 stars
6/29/03 Jordi Ok the movie was pretty good but pretty predictable but I think worth it! 4 stars
6/28/03 lick my nuts geeks you suck 4 stars
6/28/03 Atanu oh jeez. why bother 1 stars
6/26/03 Wade one word, Crap, I hate all this cops vs bad guy sh*t, walker and tyrese=beavis + butthead 2 stars
6/24/03 Tiffany See it if you like fast cars, not for the story line 4 stars
6/23/03 marzio arigoni@rtsi.ch simply terrible! Walker is not an actor, and Tyrese... 1 stars
6/23/03 joker cars are awesome 4 stars
6/23/03 Kym ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ..... oh mercy 1 stars
6/19/03 ^ZuLu^ Absolutely average and overdone (boat-scene!). Even the cars were just ok! 3 stars
6/19/03 Dale Birmingham Wow, this really is the worst i've seen yet 1 stars
6/19/03 Captain Highcrime 4 year olds playing with Hot Wheels can do better 2 stars
6/17/03 Large Farve Utter shit. Can't believe the news called this a 'cult classic' 1 stars
6/17/03 honda_racer Another Corporate film brainwashing idiots with product placement 1 stars
6/16/03 Artur really bad movie, can't compare to the first one 1 stars
6/15/03 Earl Dittman, Wireless Magazine What did you expect, spacemonkeys? It's a sequel to "The Fast and The Furious"! 1 stars
6/15/03 monkey slayer shit. pure shit. stick to the first one. 1 stars
6/15/03 h8tinglyf it sucked 1 stars
6/14/03 fart pipe use some real cars, enough of this rice shit 1 stars
6/14/03 killa this movie sucked donkey balls I wasted an hour and a half of my life watching it. 1 stars
6/13/03 Brian i have never heard a white and black guy call each other "bro" and "cuz" that many times 1 stars
6/11/03 Not Ebert an embarassment for John Singleton 1 stars
6/11/03 jeff lewis I might as well have set fire to $8.25 1 stars
6/10/03 Bryan acting sucked plot sucked, dialogue sucked, and the cars were ridicules, Where's Rob Cohen? 1 stars
6/10/03 Hobo Superstar Bra, wassup, I'm am be fin ta riz up n get my race on!!!1 1 stars
6/10/03 Candy Mercado I thought the movie was better than the first . Paul Walker looked hotter than ever. 4 stars
6/10/03 c berry Horrible Director 1 stars
6/09/03 Matt the movie sucked, the cars were not even that good 2 stars
6/09/03 Brian my faith in the movie industry continues to dwindle... 1 stars
6/09/03 Phil The movie sure makes you appricate sequels like godfather 3 alot more 1 stars
6/08/03 Gearhead Walker+Tyrese= hot gay action. Cars+mods=consumer fetishism. For 13 year olds only. 1 stars
6/08/03 Scott Young 100 minutes of rubbish. Couldn't be worse. 1 stars
6/08/03 Angolmois If you thought Matrix sucked donkeys, then this one eviscerates them through the same hole. 1 stars
6/08/03 heeee worse then the first 1 stars
6/08/03 Willie "ATLBLKICE" Simmons Tyrese saved this movie...just another shameful production to rip-off movie goers. 3 stars
6/07/03 synder dumb but entertaining 2 stars
6/07/03 kingroom.com Nothing Like The First Film Which Is A Crime 2 stars
6/07/03 FFEXTREME.COM THIS MOVIE 2 WORST 2 BORING,,,, MATRIX 2 WAS 10X BETTER 1 stars
6/06/03 Ronado Pee-Whew! 3 Action scenes and nothing else 1 stars
IF YOU'VE SEEN THIS FILM, RATE IT!
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USA
  06-Jun-2003 (PG-13)

UK
  N/A

Australia
  05-Jun-2003




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