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Overall Rating
3.52

Awesome: 21.78%
Worth A Look35.64%
Average: 24.75%
Pretty Bad: 8.91%
Total Crap: 8.91%

8 reviews, 53 user ratings


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Thomas Crown Affair, The (1999)
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by Hawkboy

"Pierce Brosnan could steal shit from me ANYTIME. He's hunky."
4 stars

Watching this movie is fun, because it shows rich people doing rich things. It makes you want to be rich as well. It's a living testimony to the wonders of capitalism. Don't expect big box-office in China.

Thomas Crown is rich. Rene Russo is rich. Denis Leary? He's a cop. He's not going to win in this movie. Let's watch the rich people some more.

Rich folks have planes, they fly places, they walk around naked. I really wanna be rich.

The moral of the story; being rich is boring, but it sure beats the hell out of being poor. At least rich folks know how to party.

What the hell was that chunky stuff that Rene Russo was drinking?

Can't we find better film roles for Ben Gazzara? He's a talented guy. He used to do Cassavetes movies. All he does in this flick is dribble a basketball and wear a silly-ass apron.

And Faye Dunaway! The woman won an Oscar! Give her something to do!

Rene Russo has really pointy nipples. The girls sitting behind me in the movie theatre said "Must be cold where she is." I laughed.

The "Sinnerman" scene kicked ass. Best heist scene I've seen in YEARS.

The soundtrack was really, really good.

Rene's 45 years old. She has kids. If you were a kid, would you want your mom wearing an outfit like that? You can see her ass! You can bet those kids are getting teased to shit in school.

Pierce Brosnan's actually smoother in this movie than he is in the Bond pics. Weird.

Steve McQueen licks my ass. Remake was better.

Whattaya want, I'm tired.

link directly to this review at http://www.efilmcritic.com/review.php?movie=805&reviewer=27
originally posted: 09/24/99 15:24:23
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User Comments

9/12/17 morris campbell the boring affair is more like it 1 stars
11/30/15 jamie loved this movie,sexy,rich yet approachable, renee's got great boobs, piece is luscious 5 stars
2/03/06 Anthony Feor Peirce does it again 4 stars
11/24/05 noops gr8 film frm gr8 actor.nice climax...good romance 2... 4 stars
2/27/05 mike bad 1 stars
12/23/03 tatum Fun, romantic, everything the original was not 5 stars
12/11/03 Agent Sands A wee bit better acting/filmmaking-wise, but the certain heistfilm rules remain broken. 3 stars
11/27/03 John elegant, romantic and classy! phenomenal direction and eclectic musical score 5 stars
10/05/03 John Bale Seldom does a remake exceed the original, this does. Brosnan excells, Russo shows tits. 4 stars
5/27/03 Edmund Armor Smart, sexy, beautifully shot, visually witty 5 stars
3/25/03 Jack Sommersby Entertaining and sexy. The two stars are luminous, and the editing is masterfully tricky. 4 stars
9/15/02 Zefram Mann I honestly didn't want to like this movie, but I did. 5 stars
8/10/02 R.W. Welch Not bad but falls well short of the McQueen rendition. 3 stars
5/12/02 Tiffany Faye Hawthorne (no fan or usually obnoxious Renee Russo) Russo this time just chugs kaopectate & twirls buttocks. Inoffensive but silly. 3 stars
4/28/02 Geebo Very clever 5 stars
4/09/02 spacecowboy smooooth 4 stars
4/04/02 Edfink Lombardo What was McTiernan thinking? Lacked pace and likeable characters, among other things... 2 stars
3/05/02 Alan Smithee Other than seeing the wonderful Ms. Russo nude, this movie is a bore. 2 stars
2/21/02 Xaver Interesting story, but nothing too exciting. 3 stars
10/10/01 jawsboy good little flick! one of McT's best along with Predator, die hard, die hard 3, & THFRO. 4 stars
8/10/01 Mr. Hat Better than the old one. 3 stars
8/09/01 E-Funk I enjoyed seeing Russo's boobies...besides that it was dragging. 3 stars
7/16/01 bobbuttons i thought it was pretty good too. i loved the bowler hats 4 stars
7/12/01 JLH I thought it was great. Just different enough from the original. Soundtrack was good too. 5 stars
2/16/01 Lisa I Love this movie. It is one of the best movies I have ever seen. 5 stars
1/16/01 Shara If my mom were as hot as Rene, I don't think I would mind the dress... 5 stars
1/13/01 Avenger Girl Pretentious boring seppo crap trying to be classy and failing. 1 stars
1/06/01 Connoisseur only her tits are 4 stars
12/09/00 Carly Lees This movie is witty, full of spunk, and all out AWESOME! 5 stars
10/06/00 Fishsticks Not bad. Smart dialogue, story good, if predicable in a few places it mainly avoids it 4 stars
9/27/00 mephetic A good, smart, and very funny movie. But it'd be a hell of a lot better if there were more 3 stars
5/03/00 Matt Sabian Bloody Brilliant, worth every look 5 stars
5/01/00 Tom Rees Consumed my attention while recovering from minor surgery!!!!! 4 stars
4/25/00 Danny Sykes Brilliant! Nothing Better! 5 stars
4/24/00 Trina Barnard Love everything about it 5 stars
4/08/00 Bruce Rene does have nice nipples 4 stars
3/21/00 Wafer pretty good flick and a great ending 4 stars
1/26/00 The Bomb 69 pretty standard hollywood fluff 3 stars
1/10/00 Will Russo looked like utter shit in this movie. Aside from that it was just silly. 2 stars
11/13/99 Daniel I've never seen the original and I thought Brosnan and Russo were excellent. 5 stars
10/27/99 pipeman overrated fluff 3 stars
10/11/99 Ben Ryan Great fun storyline, Rene and Pierce were excellent. Stuck on the nipples too here! 4 stars
10/07/99 Eran entertaining movie that gives the viewer a good time 4 stars
9/06/99 Matthew Bartley A good film.Not exactly Out Of Sight but decent nevertheless 3 stars
8/26/99 Ami the Wonderbread Typical hollywood ending, but decent movie 3 stars
8/26/99 Steven Loved the ending and Rene's Nipples. 4 stars
8/24/99 Pierce Lanson Rene Russo is THE sexiest woman on the big screen right now!! 4 stars
8/22/99 Gini Charming and fun. Not a classic, but still a good way to spend an evening. 4 stars
8/17/99 Rick Pierce Brosnan is no Steve McQueen, but Rene Russo is more than Faye Dunaway. 3 stars
8/14/99 JimBob Good acting,Tits and Ass,good entertainment,did Rene use a body double?Pierce? 4 stars
8/14/99 Bushman Not the best film of the year but one of the most entertaining. 5 stars
8/12/99 Goofus Anyone who has seen the original could not possibly give this one five stars. Or even four. 3 stars
8/11/99 portia smith brilliant film 5 stars
IF YOU'VE SEEN THIS FILM, RATE IT!
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USA
  06-Aug-1999 (R)

UK
  N/A

Australia
  19-Aug-1999




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