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Overall Rating
2.55

Awesome: 29.31%
Worth A Look: 6.9%
Average: 5.17%
Pretty Bad: 6.9%
Total Crap51.72%

3 reviews, 40 user ratings


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Grind
[AllPosters.com] Buy posters from this movie
by Scott Weinberg

"Nothing says 'awfulness' like last year's Fad Movies."
1 stars

Much like any motion picture created solely to cash in on whatever's "hot" these days, :Grind" is pretty much garbage.

Grind is a series of skateboarding sequences punctuated by juvenile comedy materail so outdated and lifeless and banal that it simply boggles the mind. Why not just make a 90-minute documentary about the joys of skateboarding instead of this flaccid piece of refuse? Oh yeah, because it's tough to get tittie jokes for the trailer if you make a skateboarding documentary instead of the 43,432th Animal House retread...only with skateboards.

So we have a bunch of idiots who are good at skateboarding. Like any worthwhile young movie characters, they despise responsibility and hard work, and hope to succeed through sheer force of awesome-ness or bitchin'-ostiy. Or whatever the current slang is for "skill with a wheeled board." Since Grind is most interested in silly guest stars and frequent product placement, our gang of four pursue a popular skateboarding comeptition, shake hands with actual skateboarders, drink a whole lot of well-known soft drinks and leer at breasts. Amidst all this we get frequent looks at real skateboarders skateboarding and a collection of music-video montages that serve only to make this merciless mass seem longer than it actually is.

If you've ever seen those Sprite commericals in which a quartet of stunningly obnoxious slang-spouters jump out of airplanes and dive over cliffs, then you've already seen Grind. Only you've seen the thirty-second version. This one's 100-plus minutes.

First-time director Casey La Scala (producer behind stuff like the interminable What a Girl Wants and the brilliant Donnie Darko) presents the thing in full-on commercial mode. There's nothing within Grind that doesn't feel like a Coke commercial or a low-budget rock video. Sometimes it's both at the same time.

The skateboarding aficionadoes who will inevitably be drawn to the film are rewarded with a collection of reprehensible actors as heroes, none of which is more monumentally obnoxious than that of Vince Vileuf as...oh, I don't know...the really slobby one. Rare is the movie character that makes one want to peel the skin off one's eyes, but Vieluf pulls it off with stunning ease. One could spend pages detailing the ineptness of the entire cast, but let's just leave it at this: Tom Green makes a cameo here. (Remember him?) And when Tom Green is the "brief flash of color" within a truly awful movie, you're talking about "truly awful" of a special degree.

If you love skateboarding (and therefore hate me for trashing a movie clearly created for you), feel free to rent Grind, hit the mute button and fast forward through anything that doesn't involve a half-pipe. Anything that can make Grind shorter while eliminating the dialogue easily creates a more entertaining movie.

I could also mention that WB has decided to release this entirely awful movie in an entirely awful Full Frame transfer. But anything that keeps people away from "Grind" is OK by me...although as an actual movie (albeit a wretched one) it certainly deserved a DVD release in its original Widescreen aspect ratio.

link directly to this review at http://www.efilmcritic.com/review.php?movie=8073&reviewer=128
originally posted: 05/11/04 11:01:44
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User Comments

9/21/13 Kyle Not nearly as bad as this guy states.. just a tame, nice live your dream thing.. 5 stars
1/26/10 Danny Certainly not great, but it ddn't suck either. If you dig skateboarding you'll love it. 3 stars
4/08/08 Jason dont bag it fuckheads, if u were offered a role in it ud jump jump at it straight away 5 stars
7/25/07 troy a good movie, but they probably should learn to surf, Chris is dumb 4 stars
11/12/05 elida guillen good movie and good looking guys 5 stars
9/08/05 Chris Skateboarding is NOT s legitamte sport so why was this movie made 1 stars
6/09/05 TPTB... plot was crap, nice skating, good soundtrack 3 stars
6/02/05 adam yeah its bad but i mean come on its just around for a good time 4 stars
2/04/05 Chris If You Like This Movie You Realy Nees \\d To Aquire Some Taste Because It's Garbage 1 stars
11/08/04 Katie this movie is pretty bad.but,all people have opinions so props to those sharing their voice 2 stars
11/06/04 da hood' "I love it because iskate myself." You think that makes you cool, jackass? 2 stars
8/16/04 Joe To All the people who think tihs is a great movie, YOU ARE ALL VERY VERY STUIPD, it sucks 1 stars
8/02/04 Jeff Lisko Great movie for anyone thats a fan of skating or anyone with asense of humor 5 stars
7/31/04 carlee i luved it just cause i skate myself 5 stars
7/30/04 Amber i love this movie it is awesome whoever said it sucks is a loser!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *peace* 5 stars
7/29/04 Casey This movie is awesome! 5 stars
7/15/04 abbi mckiny i dont know about the other stars of the movie but the mike vogel (eric) is a real skater 5 stars
7/12/04 Josh GREAT MOVIE!!!!! o and all u critics dont know what your talking about 5 stars
6/26/04 Riki I thought the film was halarious, a little pointless, but entertaining! 4 stars
5/26/04 Karine this movie s filled with humor and fun. must see (hot guys, too!!) 5 stars
5/05/04 Tyler Wickersham Awesome 5 stars
4/02/04 scott fukin rocks 5 stars
3/31/04 daddy g awesome...great movie 5 stars
3/27/04 Jake Entertainment for the severly brain damaged only this is beyond stupid 1 stars
3/22/04 skater_chick AWESOME!!!...ADAM BRODY...DAMN HOTT! 5 stars
3/21/04 Sniffy Not the best, but damn that Adam Brody does it for me! :) 3 stars
2/19/04 me bad 1 stars
2/16/04 Natasha Theobald see "Dogtown and Z-Boys" instead 2 stars
2/15/04 LovelyArsenic I'm Loving It, so feck off to those who don't 5 stars
9/22/03 Collin Entertainment for the Stupid skateboarder masses, you'd have to be stupid to like this 1 stars
9/17/03 Natalie Stonecipher I'd give this a better name --- SKATEBORED! 2 stars
9/07/03 Amanda Extremely funny, not the best script but it kept me laughing through the whole movie!!! 4 stars
9/04/03 eddie DUDE, LIKE WHOOAAA.....i hope those skateboarding faggots cripple themselves. gay stuff. 1 stars
8/24/03 dave just when gigli set the bar, grind re-invents 1 stars
8/24/03 gman walked out halfway through, went home, and cried naked on the bed with all the lights off 1 stars
8/22/03 Brian doing the same thing at my theater that extreme days did a year ago...nothing 1 stars
8/21/03 Madison Freaken funny i love it adam is so funny i love evrything he said and love the dance scence 5 stars
8/16/03 Markus Rubish 1 stars
8/15/03 Collin Stupid, Mindless Ascinine, Pointless, Mindless, Poorly Concieved Garbage 1 stars
8/10/03 bluepers try to catch your breathes between hillarious comedy and awesome stunts 5 stars
IF YOU'VE SEEN THIS FILM, RATE IT!
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USA
  15-Aug-2003 (PG-13)
  DVD: 27-Jan-2004

UK
  N/A

Australia
  26-Feb-2004


Directed by
  Casey La Scala

Written by
  Ralph Sall

Cast
  Mike Vogel
  Vince Vieluf
  Jason London
  Jennifer Morrison
  Joey Kern
  Lindsay Felton



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