Reviewed By wintermute
Posted 08/24/03 02:07:09

"This film goes from suck to blow."
1 stars (Total Crap)

I don't know a lot about skateboarding. But I do know a little bit about movies. And I think it's safe to say that the director of this film is my mirror-universe counterpart.

Because this film was a complete and total waste of my time.

Remember those road movies from the 80's where a group of kids would drive from uncool Rhode Island to mega-cool California in their pursuit of soccer/baseball/videogame stardom? And along the way they would have a series of misadventures, first sexual experiences, and bonding moments?

Remember The Wizard?

Well, director Casey La Scala did the timewarp and brought us all back to 1987, when babes were blonde, breasts were big and your brother's custom van was the coolest vehicle on the planet. Ostensibly set in the modern day, it chronicles the sad, pathetic lives of 3 teenagers and one pedophile as they try to bring make their terribly proletarian dream of becoming professional skateboarders a reality.

La Scala could not have chosen a more bland set of characters if he had been blindfolded and set loose in a coma ward. Ridiculously unfunny fart jokes, stupid grunts, irritating laughs and insulting one liners comprise the "humour" of this "buddy comedy". I "almost" laughed once or twice. In addition, the "Sweet Lou" character, the sandy blonde twenty-something who preys on high school girls is so OBVIOUSLY a carbon copy of Matthew McConaughey's role in Dazed and Confused that it almost seems as though actor Joey Kern is auditioning for a part in a film that has already been shot.

I honestly don't understand how Steven Segal's films go straight to video and yet gems like these slip through to splatter all over the multiplex screens. Somebody is obviously asleep at the switch. This film covers no new ground and merely smears it's stinking verbal excrement over that which it retreads.

Instead of wasting any amount of money on this film, I recomend talking with your kids, riding a bike, or maybe just sitting in your room alone with all the lights off. Naked.

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