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Overall Rating

Awesome: 19.3%
Worth A Look: 5.26%
Average: 14.04%
Pretty Bad: 28.07%
Total Crap33.33%

4 reviews, 33 user ratings

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Uptown Girls
[] Buy posters from this movie
by Greg Muskewitz

"Trapped in a bad dream of Downtown."
1 stars

What happened to director Boaz Yakin, the once accomplished director of an adult’s kid-movie ([Fresh) and then simply an adult’s movie (A Price Above Rubies), only to sell out (Remember the Titans), and with this, lose any remnant of respect as a filmmaker?

(What communicative compromise is there to go from personal, gritty and well-made films, to such a vapid commercial plea?) A deplorable “fairytale”-sell out-kid flick, has orphaned adult-cum-free spirit Brittany Murphy hoodwinked out of her long-standing inheritance from her dead rock star daddy, and forced to fend in the real world (if only!). The saving grace, but not without saving needed herself, is in a neurotic, germophobe, pill-popping little Jewish girl (Dakota Fanning), whom Murphy is hired to nanny for, since the girl’s own mother is too busy elsewhere and the father is in a coma. If the movie wasn’t so preoccupied with the artificiality of its breezy fairytale (this has to be one of the worst on-screen presentations of New York City!), the whole debacle would have resulted more morbidly, which may have not been such a bad idea. The movie starts rather fast, never bothering to establish its cartoon-thin characters, never bothering to try and have the main character audience-friendly, never bothering to set a consistent tone, never bothering to be funny. That neither of the two lead characters ever gains much in the likability department speaks volumes about the filmmakers’ oblivion. There is no empathy to be shared, no connection to be made, and simply because one can say that despite the poor role, Fanning does a decent job (once again, as in I am Sam, but similarly stuck in a terrible surrounding), her role is no less unctuous, deprived, and one-dimensional. And nevermind how awful Murphy’s role is, she sees to it that there should not be any sign of effort — aside from the fact that she appears to be on heroin throughout, and even her physiognomy is ridiculously over-played, over-acted. The one line that managed to get a laugh out of me — as Murphy breaks up a fight between Fanning and another girl to ask what prompted it — “Her au pair said my nanny was a slutbag whore” (only for the next edit to show Murphy fighting with the au pair) illustrates how far I had to sink for a giggle. The moral is just as trite, just as selfish, as anything or anyone else in it, and though it is not a critic’s job to take into consideration a preview audience’s reaction, I am happy to report that the screening was met with complete silence (not even a cell phone ring) and unenthusiasm.

[Not to be bothered with.]

link directly to this review at
originally posted: 12/28/03 22:26:16
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User Comments

2/21/11 art DAKOTA is really a MINI-ME CLONE of BRITANY! 1 stars
5/27/06 sachin manseta 5 stars
5/10/06 Jenna It was a good movie 5 stars
3/22/06 Katie<3 This movies was amazing. i absolutely ADORED it. whoever says its bad doesn't know anything 5 stars
9/21/05 Jonathon Holmes Dakota's the only bright spot of the sad-sack party 1 stars
7/22/05 ali aas 1 stars
3/06/05 ashley humphrey none 4 stars
1/29/05 blueviolet I was expecting a fun movie but it was depressing and bummed me out 3 stars
1/24/05 ASHA COOPER it suck's bad 1 stars
7/07/04 ali ali 5 stars
3/27/04 Nicole Aww this movies so cute.. birtneys a good actress to! 5 stars sexi mammi! 5 stars
3/23/04 Danielle THIS IS THE BEST MOVIE EVER!!! 5 stars
2/22/04 carrie Pretty cute movie...would see again! 4 stars
2/15/04 Jingo P. Murphytalent rates somewhere with the left testicle of a wildebeast. 1 stars
1/15/04 Betty White Awful performances and unfunny screenplay; one of the worst of 2003. 1 stars
1/10/04 Me This is a great movie. It is worth seeing. 5 stars
1/08/04 KICK ASS OR DONT COME HOME! those 2 are like micheal jackson and peter pan,just hideous!!!! 2 stars
12/02/03 Chris We all know what to expect by the poster (chick flick) but it's a good one. 4 stars
11/10/03 Rhonda Blankenship Annoying for a while, then threatens to end repeatedly, before real (supposedly happy) end 3 stars
11/09/03 Allison O'Silla Another stinkin' BM movie. When'll BM learn what makes for good flicks? 2 stars
11/07/03 Green Beret Packers Brittany Murphy must've done this film to make JUST MARRIED look comparatively good. 1 stars
9/28/03 Willow Rosenberg I fucking LOVED this movie! Brittany Murphy is awesome. 5 stars
9/23/03 Torrey Dixson It was great I want to meet dakota and be like her. 5 stars
8/31/03 Alice 1 stars
8/30/03 your worst goddamn nightmare this movie sucked ass, but i snuggled to a gorgeous girl so i'll give it an extra point! 2 stars
8/29/03 Mack Intosh Holy mother of god, does this movie STINK! 1 stars
8/26/03 Chrys come on people. help get rid of fucking nauseating precocious kids, a la fanning. 1 stars
8/22/03 johnny brittany needs to eat a carrot 1 stars
8/20/03 Arianna great full of exitment 5 stars
8/18/03 MEEE great fun 5 stars
8/16/03 Jin Murphy is rotten and her cutesy routine is so played... 1 stars
8/15/03 Atanu Nauseating kid. Fanning should be banned from the industry. 1 stars
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  15-Aug-2003 (PG-13)
  DVD: 06-Jan-2004



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