More in-depth film festival coverage than any other website!
Home Reviews  Articles  Release Dates Coming Soon  DVD  Top 20s Criticwatch  Search
Public Forums  Festival Coverage  Contests About 

Overall Rating

Awesome: 0%
Worth A Look57.14%
Average: 42.86%
Pretty Bad: 0%
Total Crap: 0%

2 reviews, 2 user ratings

Latest Reviews

Bombshell: The Hedy Lamarr Story by Jay Seaver

Before We Vanish by Jay Seaver

Dear Dictator by Peter Sobczynski

Tomb Raider (2018) by Peter Sobczynski

Darken by Jay Seaver

Early Man by Jay Seaver

Beyond Skyline by Jay Seaver

Agent Mr. Chan by Jay Seaver

Wrinkle in Time, A by Peter Sobczynski

Kill Order by Jay Seaver

subscribe to this feed

Five Stages of Beer, The
[] Buy posters from this movie
by Greg Muskewitz

"Washes down easily enough."
3 stars

Reportedly shot in nine days, the five-step process refers to one bartender’s advice for a typical Joe Schmoe to get over the wife that left him for a clown. (Literally, a clown.)

However, his own notions tend to be of admiration towards the bar owner’s lothario ways, and so he approaches things in a half-assed and half-educated way. Ultimately it turns into a competition of identity and status between the spurned loser (who never appears to work) and the bar owner as each sets out with an ideal gal in mind, and ends up switching early on because of the roles they’re trying to front. Directed and co-written by Brian Mix, the humor is rather generic and therefore goes over well — and without the assistance of alcohol or the need to be inebriated — but it’s a fairly inconsequential piece of fluff. Considering that this was shot in nine days, the pace and scene breakdown tend to be tight and efficient, with additional support from the amiable performances, with one exception. Frank Lauria II, as the down-on-his-luck loser, is miscast and plainly unlikable. Luckily, the rest of the movie goes on satisfactorily, bolstered by the help of the opposite sex’s performers, with winning performances by Stacy Burnham (though no one bought her singing voice) and Jenya Lano.

[See it if you must.]

link directly to this review at
originally posted: 12/29/03 09:58:05
[printer] printer-friendly format  

User Comments

1/27/04 Joe Banks Made me laugh, seen a LOT worse 4 stars
1/01/04 Itlan I laughed and got caught up in the story and it kept my mind off work for a couple of hours 4 stars
Note: Duplicate, 'planted,' or other obviously improper comments
will be deleted at our discretion. So don't bother posting 'em. Thanks!
Your Name:
Your Comments:
Your Location: (state/province/country)
Your Rating:

Discuss this movie in our forum




Directed by
  Brian Mix

Written by
  Brian Mix
  Mark Yturralde

  Jenya Lano
  Stacy Burnham
  Sam Upton
  Stacey Branscombe
  Frank Lauria II
  Vince Cuseo

Home Reviews  Articles  Release Dates Coming Soon  DVD  Top 20s Criticwatch  Search
Public Forums  Festival Coverage  Contests About Australia's Largest Movie Review Database.
Privacy Policy | HBS Inc. | |   

All data and site design copyright 1997-2017, HBS Entertainment, Inc.
Search for
reviews features movie title writer/director/cast