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Overall Rating

Awesome: 29.69%
Worth A Look: 10.94%
Average: 6.25%
Pretty Bad: 17.19%
Total Crap35.94%

3 reviews, 46 user ratings

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Bodyguard, The
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by Gordie

"And I liked the Dolly Parton version of the song better, too."
1 stars

There are thousands of things that I could ridicule about this movie. However, I'm going to try to keep to a central theme. And my theme is this: this movie couldn't be any duller. Not even if they tried to make a dull movie.

The Bodyguard stars Kevin Costner as Frank Farmer, a former Secret Service bodyguard who can't get over the Reagan assassination attempt. Now here's the kicker: he can't let it go because he had to trade shifts that day to go to his MOTHER'S FUNERAL. Whitney Houston is Rachel Marron, a screen and pop diva with a stalker. But, she doesn't know that she has a stalker because her flunkies don't want to upset her. Whit…I mean Rachel resists Farmer's security efforts until she learns about the stalker, and then she seduces him. After that, they snipe at each other for about an hour of film. Rachel also has a jealous sister, and an old Secret Service colleague of Farmer's keeps showing up at obvious moments. Anyone care to guess who did it?

The plot of this movie is laughably predictable. Murder…She Wrote employed more sophistication. I'm talking about the last season of Murder…She Wrote. The movie is littered with red herrings and paint-by-numbers plot devices. The one mildly suspenseful sequence in the movie occurs after you have checked off everything that you knew was going to happen and are waiting on Farmer to take the bullet for her.

Kevin Costner gives a performance that would make his mother proud-provided that his mother is a tree stump. But Kevin is the lesser of two evils. Whitney Houston is called upon to play herself and she tee-totally sucks. She recites her lines with the dispassion of a bored telephone operator. Her seduction of Farmer was practically endothermic. But above all else, she was simply unbelievable in the role. Which when you consider the fact that she was playing herself, is pretty damn bad.

The fifteen second clip of Yojinbo is the only reason this movie is even watchable.

link directly to this review at
originally posted: 01/02/00 16:54:20
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User Comments

9/29/08 Mike Loved it! 5 stars
8/07/08 Shaun Wallner boring! couldnt watch the whole thing. 1 stars
11/09/07 PIesie This is one of my best movies 4 stars
2/18/07 Sugarfoot A terrible movie, but hilarious. (I mean look at Costner's hair!) 1 stars
3/08/06 Mahua this is an amazing movie for people who are romantic at heart 5 stars
2/16/06 jakko i agree wit desperado DIS FILM ROX!!!!! 5 stars
1/22/06 Anthony Feor I heard Mariah Carry is making a movie......NOT 1 stars
7/30/05 CndnGirl Ok, I give this rating even though I'm totally NUTS for Kevin Costner! 1 stars
7/06/05 Pinkline Jones Laughable Paper Mache Macho Poop 1 stars
5/26/05 Mary This was one of the best movies I've ever seen. 5 stars
12/27/04 Zahra(Farimah ) I love it so much ,I see it every night,I love Kevin 5 stars
7/29/04 rms I love this movie, as good as Pretty Woman. Kevin & Whitney are hot together. 5 stars
4/01/04 john first rate entertainment - nothing particularly new here but very solid film 4 stars
12/31/03 mercie i love costner and the movie is a blast,the critics can go to hell 5 stars
10/13/03 Desperado Whoever wrote this piece of shit review i the one who should burn in hell, good movie 5 stars
10/13/03 marquis the movie is the best whitney should have won an oscar! i hpe the make a bodyguard 2 5 stars
8/26/03 Sarah Firestone The Bodyguard is my FAVORITE movie ever and Whitney Houston is the GREASTEST SINGER EVER!! 5 stars
8/06/03 sam i think this movie is great 5 stars
5/28/03 alex i love this movie[bullshit to all those fuckers who thinks its crap ] 5 stars
1/22/03 Pinkline Jones Whoever likes this needs to Get out a little more. Junk. 1 stars
1/08/03 GILLIAN KELSEY It is the best film i have ever seen. i have the soundtrack, video and dvd. 5 stars
5/17/02 tosh it was a scary film 5 stars
4/26/02 Charles Tatum I loathe all involved. A terrible film 1 stars
4/11/02 vladimir its a cool movie and i like it 5 stars
3/17/02 FlaFan Good acting, but bad writing. 3 stars
2/26/02 smmboo I loved this movie. It is one of my favorites. Whenever I get a chance, I watch it again. 5 stars
2/20/02 Bertha Venation Old-movie type kiss at the end was good, all else was crap 2 stars
12/19/01 Thomas Great movie! No wonder it grossed 410 million worldwide at the box office! 5 stars
12/04/01 Shams Huque Nice soundtrack. The movie? Well... 3 stars
9/09/01 Butterbean I only watch this movie to laugh at Houston's acting. She improved in Waiting to Exhale 2 stars
7/04/01 TLsmooth How in the fuck did Lawrence Kasdan get talked into this shitball? 2 stars
5/21/01 Monster W. Kung Sad excuse for soundtrack. If you like the song, buy the CD, and STICK IT UP YOUR ASS!!!! 1 stars
4/25/01 Emma Scott This film was one of the best films i've ever seen! The acting is superb! 5 stars
3/19/01 Elinor Goater I thought that it was a real feel good film but the plot could have been strengthened. 4 stars
12/04/00 Cristopher Revilla not bad, sadly, Costner is still going down, Whitney sucks at acting 3 stars
9/16/00 Jed %uck you @$$wipes! This is Costners best movie. 4 stars
1/06/00 Thinker Pretty Good Movie 4 stars
10/31/99 NAHLA IT IS A VERY GOOD MOVIE 5 stars
7/11/99 Daria Perfectly romantic movie, but Costner still sucks. 4 stars
6/14/99 Dylan FUCKING CRAP!!! 1 stars
3/18/99 Madcap he shoulda let her die before she sang that godawful song... 1 stars
9/27/98 katherine it was ok. my friends obsessed though. 3 stars
9/06/98 Kid Pee-Pee Lovey-dovey star-vehicle crap. 1 stars
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  25-Nov-1992 (R)
  DVD: 01-Feb-2005



Directed by
  Mick Jackson

Written by
  Lawrence Kasdan

  Kevin Costner
  Whitney Houston
  Gary Kemp
  Bill Cobbs
  Ralph Waite
  Tomas Arana

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