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Overall Rating
3.19

Awesome: 23.26%
Worth A Look30.23%
Average: 16.28%
Pretty Bad: 2.33%
Total Crap: 27.91%

4 reviews, 19 user ratings


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Touch of Pink
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by David Cornelius

"All that's missing is Mr. Furley."
1 stars

You know those sitcoms where a relative is coming to visit, and the main character sets up some elaborate lie about his/her life, usually involving somebody posing as a spouse or whatnot, which all holds up until the end, in which the relative discovers the truth? And you know how pissed off you get when you realize that you’ve just started watching one of these damn shows? Welcome, my friend, to the world of “Touch of Pink,” an inept sitcom of a movie that’s oh-so-painful in its predictable lameness.

And to make matters worse - much, much worse - writer/director Ian Iqbal Rashid dares to invoke the spirit of none other than Cary Grant. Which, to be fair, is the film’s best touch, on paper, at least. The plot, you see, involves a gay Pakistani who converses with the spirit of Grant, which sounds like a nifty update of “Play It Again, Sam,” until you realize that the gay Pakistani is being played by Jimi Mistry, whose turn in “The Guru” was downright unwatchable; and that Grant is being played by Kyle MacLachlan, with an impersonation so broad that his entire preparation seems to have been his saying “Judy, Judy, Judy” in the mirror once or twice; and that the plot involves the aforementioned visiting relative.

In other words: sweet gravy, is this a mess. Rashid, a former TV writer making his feature debut, brings to the screen every cliché he could possibly dig up, most promintently the nagging mother (Suleka Mathew), a character based on every nagging mother to ever appear on film or television in the last, oh, forever or so. This is a character so unlikable in her comical meanness that you find yourself rooting for the scene in which someone just up and belts her (which, sadly, never happens). And yet we’re asked to feel for her by movie’s end, a request gone completely unearned by all that comes before.

There are other unlikable characters, too, not the least of is Mistry’s Alim, who hurts and annoys everyone around him in his desperate ploy to remain closeted; at first, it’s a mildly cute plot device, but after a while, it’s a sure sign to not like the idiot. And what of Alim’s boyfriend (Kristen Holden-Reid), who must pose as a roomie when mom’s around - and who keeps lusting after another guy throughout the film? Surely we’re not being asked to hope he and Alim reconcile, after all the sleeping around he does. What? We are? Hmm.

The movie’s biggest offender, however, is not the parade of tired plot points and worn-out Jack Tripper-style misunderstandings, but the use of Grant. Throughout, we’re shown clips of Grant films, or given references to famous scenes, and we realize hey, wouldn’t we rather be watching of of those movies instead? To be stuck in a horrible film and then witness horrible rip-offs of far better works (hearing Mistry quote the Hepburns is a miserable experience I wish not to repeat any time soon) is like serving your dinner guest White Castles while you enjoy a prime rib.

And then we come to the bit in which Grant sees Alim’s family and thinks he’s on the set of “Gunga Din.” Get it? Sigh... At least Rashid could’ve tried to milk the material for some kind of gag, but no, all we get it is “ooh, brown people! I must be in ‘Gunga Din,’ and what do you think about that?”

Did I mention Alim’s creepy cousin, who comes onto Alim in the film’s sleaziest moment? Or the jokes in which the boyfriend’s sister has to pass for Alim’s fiancée? No? Lucky you, then. “Touch of Pink” is a disaster, a blend of trite plot points and obnoxious characters, held together by the notion that you should be watching something else instead. Which is not a good way to make your movie.

link directly to this review at http://www.efilmcritic.com/review.php?movie=8519&reviewer=392
originally posted: 01/13/05 05:29:59
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OFFICIAL SELECTION: 2004 Sundance Film Festival. For more in the 2004 Sundance Film Festival series, click here.
OFFICIAL SELECTION: 2004 Seattle Film Festival. For more in the 2004 Seattle Film Festival series, click here.

User Comments

4/23/05 Jamie Williams disagree with review, loved it! 5 stars
11/04/04 Juan Carlos Great Movie!!! So true, great cast, great story!! congrats! 5 stars
10/01/04 Elizabeth Amusing performance by Kyle MacLachlan; plot is cliched. 3 stars
8/10/04 Lori J. Ness Pleasantly surprised. Funny, great music and great director or photography! 4 stars
8/05/04 beian reminds me of Amelie 5 stars
8/04/04 sean beckett good movie.....a little cliche but fun! 4 stars
7/21/04 Emily How about "My Beautiful Laundrette"? There's a relationship worth saving. 2 stars
7/20/04 walter GOOD 5 stars
7/19/04 Dax Belanger I toatally disagree with the lambasting Ekik laid on Touch Of Pink. I saw it last night it 5 stars
7/08/04 Bob Some very funny lines; plot's a bit weak in places. 4 stars
6/29/04 pappy A really enjoyable film without the overkill 4 stars
6/23/04 rob movie had some very funny lines..enjoyable 4 stars
6/19/04 savance Unique personal film blending many styles adeptly 4 stars
6/14/04 Ahimsa I thought this movie was absolutely wonderful! 5 stars
6/03/04 JIm Lowe Fantastic! Excellent opener for Lake Placid Film Festival! Loved the quick wit script! 5 stars
6/01/04 tony souza clever, witty, well crafted film not for racists or homophobes - well received in toronto 5 stars
5/04/04 Harman One of the best films I've seen! Heartfelt, funny and layers of depth to the writing. 5 stars
4/05/04 steven spielberg erik, i think you're probably as dumb as a bag of hammers. i don't know what movie you s 4 stars
2/10/04 JJ Beautifully written, intelligent humour, a film worth seeing 5 stars
IF YOU'VE SEEN THIS FILM, RATE IT!
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USA
  16-Jul-2004 (R)
  DVD: 11-Jan-2005

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